funny joke!

[DSL]

One day in school, the teacher decides to play 20 questions.

So the teacher says "OK kids, I am thinking of something round, and red"

Little Suzy pipes up "I know, it's a tomato".

"No but you're thinking, it's an apple" replies the teacher.

So Little Johnny stands up, places his hand in his pocket and says "I am holding onto something that is round, hard, and has a head on it"

"Go to the principals office" says the teacher.

"No but you're thinking", say Johnny, "It's a quarter"

[randolph]

The teacher asked her class to come up with a sentence that included religion, sex and royalty.
After some time little Johnny raised his hand.
Ok Johnny what have you come up with.
Johnny said;
Oh my god the duchess is pregnant.

[Jenae LaTorque]

Two nuns were in the back of the convent smoking a cigarette, when one said, 'It's bad enough that we have to sneak out here to smoke, but it really is a problem getting rid of the butts so that Mother Superior doesn't find them.'

The second nun said, 'I've found a marvelous invention called a condom which works really well for this problem. You just open the packet up, take out the condom, and put the cigarette butt in, roll it up, and dispose of it all later.'
The first nun was quite impressed and asked where she could find them.
'You get them at a chemist, sister. Just go and ask the pharmacist for them.'
The next day the good sister went to the chemist and walked up to the counter.
'Good morning, sister,' the chemist said, 'what can I do for you today?'
'I'd like some condoms please,' said the nun.
The chemist was a little taken aback, but recovered soon enough and asked, 'How many boxes would you like? There are 12 to a box.'
'I'll take six boxes. That should last about a week,' said the nun.
The pharmacist was truly flabbergasted by this time and was almost afraid to ask any more questions. But his professionalism prevailed and he asked in a clear voice.
'Sister, what size condoms would you like? We have large, extra large, and the big liar size.' The sister thought for a minute and finally said: 'I'm not certain, perhaps you could recommend a good size for a Camel?'
__________________________________________________ ______________

[The Conquistador]

2 gay guys were walking in the park when they saw a dog licking its penis.

The first gay guy says to his buddy,"I bet you wish you could do that huh?"

To which his friend replies,"I don't know. I'm afraid he might bite me!"

[simmo]

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

The lady can't take this anymore, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly. "In this country, we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives."

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man. "Who talkin' abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell ' Mississippi '."

[Jenae LaTorque]

Wow, Haven't heard that inna must be 30 years.

[The Conquistador]

How are blondes and turtles alike?

When they're on their back, they're fucked.



What do you call a blonde with a dollar bill on top of her head?

All you can eat under a buck.