New T-Girl in Transition

[Bionca]

First thing I'd look into with your school, is what sort of non-discrimination policy do they have? If it includes GLBT folks, you are probably OK. Legalities are going to be one of the toughest parts about transitioning. What does your state require for state ID's to change for instance. Documentation is one of the hardest parts to handle, so be prepared for a headache or two.

Transition happens at its own pace, so don't stress about that. I was lucky in that I had a therapist who wasn't invested in any outcome for me. She was open to the idea I was trans, but didn't make her living from people in transition. I'm a little conflicted as far as timeline for my process. On one hand, I wish I had started earlier - on the other, taking more time could have helped me ease into my life. In all though, I feel like people transition as they are able to and at the right pace. There is no expiration date on it, and it can be emotionally and physically taxing - so take your time and enjoy the process.

[Dani]

Thanks! I plan to take the time now and enjoy the transition especially with today being so bad and depressing but I am still happy with the idea of going through with the transition and who I will be after. It is just difficult to work with my family and live at home and close close friends who expect me to be "President" or some great politician someday...but that is not who I am and it kills me...

I have started to keep a journal to try and decompress a little at the end of each day and keep my sanity and not try anything stupid like I did in High School. I understand this is a difficult choice for life but I am finally happy with a decision I made...

I also looked into my school and while FSU is one of the more progressive schools in my state they do not currently include Gender Identity in their non-discrimination clause...Hopefully it will change in my time there or I will have to work to change it!

I am so very nervous but so very excited about the future...

[johndowe]

Hi there.

Danny, you seem to me to be a bit on cloud 9 about all the support that you've been getting here, but we are the tg comunity, not exactly the real world, oh we're real allright, but we like tg girls, no one here would tell you they'd want you to stay a boy, not because we are maleviolet but we get the impression you are a m to f ts, but it IS your decision and YOU will have to live with that decision, so think things through then make your mind up, it is the people in your life that will have to deal with the results of your decision, and you will have to deal with their reactions, good or bad, and if you decide to go through with it, you will have to tell your parents, it will affect them, but if it is the right thing for you they may argue with you and all but if they love you, in the end they should support you.


I'm not living up to my avatar am i?

JohnDowe.

[Dani]

John,

I will admit that on here I come off as though I am on cloud 9 but I am realistic. Change doesn't happen over night and not everyone is going to accept who I AM. I do understand that the world especially for TS's is a cold and callous place but I am excited that for once in my 20 years of living I am happy with who I am...I look into a mirror and smile instead of critique! I thank you for the reality check on here and not to sound rude but I do understand what I am in for and how difficult it is...

I came out to one of my best friends tonight and she is the first person to know but I knew her reaction would be the way it was that is why I chose to confide in her...(she would stop talking about shopping for me) and I had my first nerve wracking/shaking hand time in a store buying women's clothing...

All in all I want you to know that I understand the road is tough but it just makes me feel good to know there is other trans support out there (from straight men too!) because someday I WILL have to tell my parents and I am so unsure if their reactions that it frightens me to death...

Dani

[johndowe]

Hi there.

I'm glad that you have tought it through, but you have to admit that a reality check was in order, and about your parents, the longer you put it off the harder it will be.

So the question is you love them, do they love you? Then you HAVE to tell them, for you and for them, when you're ready you say? When will that be?
In your transition you WILL need support, alot of support at times, wouldn't be great to have your parents on your side?

I'm not trying to force you to tell your parents, but to make you realise that it is inevitable that they will need to know, wouldn't you prefer that it comes from you and not from someone else, someone that might very well be very ignorant about it? Also if you tell your parents, it is a BIG step towards your goal.

As someone very wise once said:

Do or do not, there is no try.

-Yoda

Good luck.


JohnDowe.

[johndowe]

HI there.

I might seem a bit harsh, but i hope you can see that i want you to be very sure of what you propose to do, if you are sure i support you.

JohnDowe.

[wecanhavefun]

congrats dani! hope all of your friends and family are equally as accepting. best of luck. feel free to drop me a line if you ever want to chat!

[Dani]

Thanks John, but I do understand when there is a right and wrong time to do it...my Dad just got laid off so now is not a good time but I will tell them as soon as possible preferably after my dad gets a new job...thanks for trying to be a reality check but I am SO SURE!

Wecanhavefun...thanks for the support especially being a male my age it is important to me!

[happy69]

Wow, what a terrific thread. I'm kind of a ts end user (hey, no pun...naughty) I guess. Like many straight or mostly straight guys I am pretty oblivious to the smaller details of transgendering. I grasp the biggies like dropping the bomb on Mom and Dad and many of the obvious others like religion, etc but it is fascinating to read some of the smaller things that must mount up to vast obstacles in total. It makes me appreciate t-girls even more. It also engenders more respect for this forum and some of the posters...very thoughtful sincere posts.

This is a bit of a crazy idea, but you do seem to have a good head on your shoulders and you are a good writer. Have you considered documenting your journey as you travel this road with the idea of creating a book in the future...a log or guide for others? I am sure it has been done before, but not by you and your perspective and not in the later part of 2009. In fact, this forum motif might even be a good style to follow if you sliced and diced it up a bit with editing and some necessary fictionalization.