Who gets high?

[jimnaseum]

I used to shoplift when I was in my alcohol/drug phase, I used to go out on my days off and fill my entire trunk with books and knick knacks, sex toys, steaks, antiques, uh, vitamins, I really liked books. Slip them down the front of my pants into two pairs of underwear. The booksellers would never report you, they would just look at you like a bad boy.
SIDEBAR- my niece worked at Border's Books when Dick Cheney and his "boys" came in to buy some books. He set off the alarm when he went out and he turned to my niece, who had a handfull of books, and she just gave him the go ahead sign. I can't make this up.
Anyway, shoplifting is pretty easy. Get ripped of for a cocaine rock, steal an $80 art book for the big get even. Bad day at the office? A couple filet mignons for free change your attitude. It was Giant Food that finally arrested me, and I was so out of control I probably asked for it. The manager there had seen me steal at another Giant, so they had me pegged. On another funny note I had alot of makeup in my pockets from another store and it was for Jeannie but they thought it was for me. I did two days in jail to clean my record, man I was glad to get outta there. As I finally was waiting to talk to the magistrate, they hauled in a guy who was caught at the airport with a gun and large amount of narcotics, like the day this guy's life changed forever. The girl questioning him seemed to take it in stride but I was waiting for him to attack someone, he was wound tight as a watch. Then the girl came over and chatted with me as I was sitting there, and a Psychologist was talking to the magistrate. He had been caught filling prescriptions to himself. He told the magistrate his twin brother had been seen in the area lately. We thought that was really funny.
I don't do any drugs anymore, I have 3 Vicodin saved for Christmas, but no alcohol or stealing, real boring life now. I still have a lot of art books, but most of the stuff I stole is gone.