Confused

[syawhat]

Hi All,

I am relatively new to this all. I am not even fully sure what I am or what you would call me other than eunuch (I thought that was all I wanted to be) at this time. I knew from a very early age that I was different. I like women (but always fantisized about Hemaphrodites), do not necessarily want to be female, but would like feminin features. I always hated my testicles and finally had them removed (long story but finally made it so a Urologist would take them). I have no regrets on that so far. My Urologist wants me to take T, but I would love to have boobs. My wife is afraid that I will go over the deep end and get the whole package, but I like having a penis (at least for now). I'm not even sure why I am on this board other than to vent my story I guess and see if there is anyone else like me.

I would like to take E but (did I mention I am in the Military), I can't get it prescribed in the US without it going straight to my medical record. I have considered ordering through the mail, but the Military has been clamping down on that (mostly people buying T, not to mention my wife would flip). I do not want to lose my job (and or be made an example of). As far as medical support, testing and all, I have that all well taken care of.

Any advise? Anybody else even close to my boat? I'm in SoCal if there is anyone near by that wants to talk.

Thanks