I love you because you're my girl

[Imconfused]

Last night my BF asked me why I love him. I told him because he takes care of home, he's smart, funny, good looking, he's a wonderful father to his kid and my daughter...and I said a few other things..then I asked him why do you love me...He said because you're my girl and the mother of our son..So I have to ask, What kind of answer is that. I am a little upset about that answer. To me he is saying the only reason he loves me is because Im here and he should and only because we have a baby together. In all the times I have asked him, that has been his answer.
Since I am here let me also ask this...We have been together for 2+ years, we have a baby together, we live together etc (everything a married couple has) except I don't have his last name blah blah blah...We were together about 5 months and he said I will marry you to put you on my insurance..I said I want to get married for other reasons not just that reason and he said he loves me. and I said if you really love me and know you want to spend the rest of your life with me...etc.... then yes I will marry you. Nothing ever happened...then about 5 months after he asked, I asked him..well he said no. So I left it alone...Then after our baby was born, yeah I brought it up again. He said he wasn't ready to commit to me. But he was ready to marry me to put me on his insurance after only 5 months of dating.
So why have everything you ever wanted in a woman...A woman who takes care of home. works..takes care of you and the kids..just about does anything and everything for you ...why not commit? He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but I don't believe him. What is your opinion???????????????

[mercury]

well the only thing that bugged me aobut what i read was, all i heard was ill marry you so you can be on my insurance..seems that is a given if you get married.. and to me not the reason to marry anyone, i would never saythat andidnt with my wife when she got pregenat..i just knew it was the right thing to do. but he has to love you and want to be with you ..im not married now baby or not its not always the good thing to do in my book.. but this is all just my opinion...

[Imconfused]

Im not saying I want to get married cause we had a baby. I want to get married because im in love with him and love him so much...put aside what he likes....hes incredible and I want to spend the rest of my life with him.
He has said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me as well
In my opinion...when you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone, you want the rest of your life to begin as soon as possible....

[mobiryder]

guys are insensitive by nature.... and if you've been together long, sometimes the passion is gone, and this causes men to give half-hearted answers.. i bet he loves you just fine, just doesnt feel like telling you

[Imconfused]

seems like the only real time he ever tells me is when I am about to walk out the door.

[mercury]

seems to me he needs to express himself more,, never be afraid to say i love you..

[BlueRaven88]

Originally Posted by Imconfused

Last night my BF asked me why I love him. I told him because he takes care of home, he's smart, funny, good looking, he's a wonderful father to his kid and my daughter...and I said a few other things..then I asked him why do you love me...He said because you're my girl and the mother of our son..So I have to ask, What kind of answer is that. I am a little upset about that answer. To me he is saying the only reason he loves me is because Im here and he should and only because we have a baby together. In all the times I have asked him, that has been his answer.
Since I am here let me also ask this...We have been together for 2+ years, we have a baby together, we live together etc (everything a married couple has) except I don't have his last name blah blah blah...We were together about 5 months and he said I will marry you to put you on my insurance..I said I want to get married for other reasons not just that reason and he said he loves me. and I said if you really love me and know you want to spend the rest of your life with me...etc.... then yes I will marry you. Nothing ever happened...then about 5 months after he asked, I asked him..well he said no. So I left it alone...Then after our baby was born, yeah I brought it up again. He said he wasn't ready to commit to me. But he was ready to marry me to put me on his insurance after only 5 months of dating.
So why have everything you ever wanted in a woman...A woman who takes care of home. works..takes care of you and the kids..just about does anything and everything for you ...why not commit? He says he wants to spend the rest of his life with me but I don't believe him. What is your opinion???????????????

hmmmm kiiiinda sounds to me that hes only keeping you around because hes scared of being alone, scared of admitting to people that he likes shemales, and scared of the fact that he would have to take over and do all those chores instead of you. he also likes having you there because he knows if hes feeling raunchy then he can get a shag whenever he wants and doesn't have to work for it, whereas if he was single he would be limited to jerking off while he was back in the dating game, then he would have to teach his new woman what he likes and how he likes it and all of the other little sexual tricks you know to use to please him, and it would cost him alot of money to get the woman he truly wants (a shemale). basically if he cant have a shemale he figures you will suffice, and he wouldnt feel any different about any other woman.

basically at the end of the day your just a life long fuck buddy for him to use as a shield against those who would accuse him of being gay. sorry but thems the breaks you deserve to be treated better in my opinion

[pickseed]

Originally Posted by BlueRaven88

hmmmm kiiiinda sounds to me that hes only keeping you around because hes scared of being alone, scared of admitting to people that he likes shemales, and scared of the fact that he would have to take over and do all those chores instead of you. he also likes having you there because he knows if hes feeling raunchy then he can get a shag whenever he wants and doesn't have to work for it, whereas if he was single he would be limited to jerking off while he was back in the dating game, then he would have to teach his new woman what he likes and how he likes it and all of the other little sexual tricks you know to use to please him, and it would cost him alot of money to get the woman he truly wants (a shemale). basically if he cant have a shemale he figures you will suffice, and he wouldnt feel any different about any other woman.

basically at the end of the day your just a life long fuck buddy for him to use as a shield against those who would accuse him of being gay. sorry but thems the breaks you deserve to be treated better in my opinion

+1 unfortunately

[Mirabeau915]

Earlier this morning I responded on one of your other posts on the subject, I did not see this one.

I am sorry, but I think I agree with the prevailing wind here, your BF has issues and and not sure it if has anything to do with shemales precisely. By which I mean that if it wasn't shemales, it would be something else.

When you say that "seems like the only real time he ever tells me is when I am about to walk out the door." I presume you mean "I love you" or somesuch. That would be very troubling I think, and possibly borderline abusive to be honest with you (on an emotional level). It doesn't give me the warm feely, and I am involved with a dedicated commitment-phobe who doesn't want to do more than half of the things I'd like to in bed. That aint good.

But this is all armchair psychology, and I'm not going to pry. Only you can know if there is a serious problem (like he just wants you to not be alone as one person suggested) or not. But sometimes we will try to convince ourselves of something we want, even when the facts are in front of us. Thus, I'd suggest some sort of counselling frankly, and normally I am not a fan of that sort of thing.

One thing I would say: You don't want to be married to someone that feels the way about you some of us have opined here, you deserve to be loved as more than a fuck buddy or a shield.

[Be_my_nude]

Originally Posted by Mirabeau915

Earlier this morning I responded on one of your other posts on the subject, I did not see this one.

I am sorry, but I think I agree with the prevailing wind here, your BF has issues and and not sure it if has anything to do with shemales precisely. By which I mean that if it wasn't shemales, it would be something else.

When you say that "seems like the only real time he ever tells me is when I am about to walk out the door." I presume you mean "I love you" or somesuch. That would be very troubling I think, and possibly borderline abusive to be honest with you (on an emotional level). It doesn't give me the warm feely, and I am involved with a dedicated commitment-phobe who doesn't want to do more than half of the things I'd like to in bed. That aint good.

But this is all armchair psychology, and I'm not going to pry. Only you can know if there is a serious problem (like he just wants you to not be alone as one person suggested) or not. But sometimes we will try to convince ourselves of something we want, even when the facts are in front of us. Thus, I'd suggest some sort of counselling frankly, and normally I am not a fan of that sort of thing.

One thing I would say: You don't want to be married to someone that feels the way about you some of us have opined here, you deserve to be loved as more than a fuck buddy or a shield.

Oh dear. So many of us long for another to want us as much as we want them. But tragically, the degree of need is not always equal. This is where mutual lust and that hazy happiness of falling in love comes in. It enables us to bond with immense strength, and to get us through so many of the bad patches in life. But a one-sided bonding where the strength of feeling and the starting points are not the same, will cause serious longer-term problems.
Yes we make ourselves believe what we most need and want, and this carries us forward against many doubts, but the reality may come with stunning force from the other person, and the dreams may be shattered.

Follow your instincts, feel his feelings, and if you can't do that surely, then back off and give the ' relationship ' a chance to founder. If it doesn't, then LUCKY YOU. If it does, then I'm sure you've got enough Love in you to move on to someone who really does care.

Reach out with your feelings. There is no other way.

Big and Love

[WudLuv2try]

"...Last night my BF asked me why I love him. I told him because he takes care of home, he's smart, funny, good looking, he's a wonderful father to his kid and my daughter..."

First of all, if a guy actually asks a girl why she loves him, well, I think he's pretty OK. Not many guys ask that.

Second, your response to his 'Why do you love me?' question wasn't exactly fantastic either.

To me, personally,

"I love you coz you're my girl and you're the mother of my child."

Sound MUCH better than

"I love you coz you can take care of the house and smart and funny and handsome..."

Oh, by the way, I'm a dude.