i can do it.. but i can't do it...

so some of you might remember me posting a thread here that i said i was able to get in contact with some really good lookin shemale escorts, and well, i guess this is the update...

i have the money.. i have the transportation, the full ability, and the courage to do it.. but i cannot actually DO it. i don't know why. i talk to the girl over the phone, then something inside of me just says NOOOOOOOOO and i end up just looking at porn...

perhaps it has to do with my own insecurity... sometimes i think she would not like me, and perhaps she would not enjoy it...
don't come in here and tell me not to do it because you think i'm a confused person and will end up having an outbreak and hurting the girl.. because that is definately NOT the problem. i am absolutely sure that if i were to meet a tgirl for escort purposes, i would be as polite, gentle, and nice as possible. maybe it's the thought of how she'd treat me that scares me

i guess it has something to do with the rushing of the whole situation.. i call the girl and she just wants to know when and where, that's it... it kind of makes me nervous to go so fast.. ESPECIALLY since i am a virgin (yes, to both tgirls and girls).. i'm only 18 and i'm not used to being physical with any type of girl.. in fact, girls in general make me nervous just casually talking to them.. i can't imagine sex talk...

so maybe i've answered my own question.. if there ever was a question lol

oh yeah and i'm always afraid of std's.. i mean, most of them say they are clean, but can you actually trust them? especially for the ones who do it for low price, like 100 bux

anyway here's who i've been looking at
http://www.candicox.com/
http://www.tsmelissa.com/
and also ladyboy MAITAI, some of u may have seen her in porn vids... she is absolutely amazing, but unfortunately she told me she doesn't do escorts anymore because she got a boyfriend!! she would have definitely been my first pick...i attached a pic down there...

any replies would be appreciated...