Feel guilty about watching a ts porstar who passed away years ago and I just found out

[EasyE]

I was on ***************** looking up videos brazilian is my favorite and I found one with a girl named Kelly Tavares she is cute and I masturbated to the video once but something about her was like she seems like a cool person, and me I like the country brazil because I heard of the kindness,friendly,the parties and beaches, and of course the beautiful girls even the trannies the surgeons in brazil are good can't even tell but I planned on going to brazil and when I'm down there I planned on meeting her and other pornstar not to just go there and have sex with her but to get to know her as a person as a human being and as a friend i that some people probably look at her as porn is a fantasy and I don't look at some of them as whores . and what ever and enjoy the parties and the beaches . so on her bio on ashemaletube I was curious about the comments that are on the side of her picture and I looked at them and one of them said RIP I was like what noway so I looked on Google and typed in Kelly Tavares ts dead and websites came up she was on a couple of them, she died from a silicon infection on Nov 2, 2009 6 years ago and I'm just finding out now, im thinking she's alive. I felt nauseous, and I was pissed still a little pissed she was the same age I am now she was 18 going on 19 like I am now. I wish she haven't taken that silicon she was cute and sexy the way she was, I wish somebody had told her that everyday. and not only her another porstar I watched and thought was alive today was another brazilian porstar Keizy Maria who died from AIDS in 2013 she was sexy as well and now I feel guilty that I watched them and I didn't know they passed and now I can't watch them anymore unless it's a photo. I'll remember them not just for the pornos but for the good person I believe they were even if they did wrong, everybody does wrong in life and when I do leave for brazil I'll look for their grave or memorial and people who knew them and I'll pay respects and leave flowers too. RIP to both of them