Why you can't find a tgirl

[smolderingtemptress]

Hello, I'm a tgirl. I've read plenty of posts regarding the inability to "find" us. I think one of the main things is, if you're looking for a passable one, they'll just blend right in with the genetic girls. There's no real "gathering" spot for tgirls really, unless you go to a seedy trans bar, which I personally have never gone to but to be honest, if you want a girl that's not a sex worker or in porn or whatever, you'll just have to keep an eye out for any chicks you meet out and about.

Another thing. I consider myself passable, but I'm pretty much out and open with my transsexuality anyway (it just feels comfortable for me to be honest), so guys at my uni who may be interested do not come up to me possibly for fear of looking "gay" or worrying about what their friends think. If you truly want to meet a tgirl, you're going to have to swallow your pride and approach her, even if other people know her status, because really, we only live one life, why bog any opportunity down with worrying like that?

Now, even if you think she's a tgirl, and probably is, she may not admit it because it's dangerous out there for us in a way, with transphobia being more of a defense for straight men than a reason to prosecute a hate crime. So it makes sense for most of us not to divulge everything (even though I'm out I don't just randomly tell strangers "I'M A TGIRL!!!!".) If you have a hunch that she may have something special, continue being friendly and open-minded and perhaps she'll come around when you both establish some trust.

I can understand if you live in a small town and feel like there's NONE around... but I live in a small town and I can tell you, we're in all kinds of places. Some of us are on dating sites, some of us are not. But I can guarantee you we do not wear signs around our necks saying we are Tgirls. So if this is something you truly want, get out there and meet people! You may find out a woman you know has been trans all along, lol.

If anyone has any other reasons why it may be difficult to find a tgirl, as well as solutions, feel free to add!