Quote:
Originally Posted by Rachel
Why are men so insecure ? Why are their egos as fragile as a house of cards? They say they love T girls but wont admit it in public.
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I really don't believe men are alone in being insecure. It doesn't take much contemplation to bring to mind all the instances of insecurity in women. So, I will agree that most people are insecure to some degree or another.
As to their ego being as fragile as a house of cards and them being unable to admit to loving a Tgirl, I will say this. Nearly all men (and women) are social animals; most of their behavior and beliefs are governed by the culture and society in which are raised and in which they spend their day to day lives. It takes a rare man to even think differant from the stream of group consensus and an even rarer man to make a stand upon his convictions and stand like a rock against the stream. History is full of people who have braved the tide of popular opinion and beliefs. Some were burned (Jeane d'Arc), some were thrown in jail (Galileo), and some were even crucified (Jesus of Nazareth). Life ain't easy for the one who is differant. Some were lucky; they were only derided and looked upon with scorn. Man is not much better, if at all, than the animal kingdom where the odd one is often turned upon by their fellows and destroyed. If you see where I am going with this, then this is where you interupt me and say, "So what does this have to do with the question?"
The issue of transgenderism is still relatively unkown to the greater masses and thus most of their opinions are based on ignorance and misinformation.
It is the chasm, between this lack of knowledge about the subject by most of his peers (the group consensus) and his personal feelings that place our
hero in a very difficult position. On one hand ,he has found this person who he is attracted to, and on the other hand, if he affirms this in public he may be subjected to the ridicule and contempt of his peers (the guys). Most men are going to go with their gut instinct which is of course that of survival.
There are a lot of paralels between this situation and the case of a pair of mixed race lovers a few generations back. And yet, look how much easily
mixed couples are taken in stride today. Sure there are pockets of resistance, but they are shrinking all the time. Hopefully this will become the case with TG relationships also. Hopefully it will evolve to tolerance, than to acceptance, and finally to loving people for who they really are and not judging them by the little boxes we tend to put them in.
I really hope you have the compassion and understanding to see the situation from your significant other's viewpoint. I realize that you have probably tried to discuss this with them, and it wasn't easy. Hopefully, I have helped to put you in a more knowlegable position for further discussion.
I do want to caution you that this is only one facet of the problems facing transgender couples, and my simple answer doesn't really begin to cover the subject. I am sure there is a wealth of information out there on the web. Have you really spent some time googling this subject and reading and thinking about what's out there?