Hank I agree with most of what you say. In the west there is a rather large group of gals who have completed SRS and tend to look down on pre- or god forbid non- op gals. Likewise they have little good to say about guys who date us.
My take is that for most doctors who deal with trans* patients the assumption is that you are only serious if you have a desire to be rid of the penis. They erase gals like me who simply don't care about it, or gals who like it, or gals who don't like surgery, or who don't want to risk their ability to orgasm, or who simply can't afford it.
There is a trend with lots of TGs to also slag on other gals and operation stats and "passability" are the easiest ways to discredit someone you don't like. Guys tend to get caught in the cross-fire I think.
The only part I'd had some issue with in your post is that it would have been easier, cheaper, less agonizingly stressful, and happier had I been assigned a female at birth. While that is more a statement to the culture and society that pretty basic stuff is often very hard for gals like me not to mention simply fighting to have your identity recognized.
So, while being trans* should be a neutral position - no better/worse than short or tall. The reality is it's tough and even unintentionally dismissing that by asking if it would have been better being born a girl hurts a little.
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