Hi, first of all : what a great forum! I'm so glad i found this site it's wonderful to know that there is a place with all kinds off people that share the same interest like me


I'm lucrezia a German marine biology student (20) that, decided almost a year ago (1 July 2008) to go from cross dressing to living as a girl. I do not consider myself a a real transsexual because i don't really hated to be a man, I just prefer being a female more :P. Having best of both worlds is very appealing to me.

Besides that i was a ugly man but now i am a quite attractive lady.
That are a few of the reasons I decided to go trough with this and take the next step.

My doctor knew my "dirty little secret" years before i decided to totally live as a woman ( and so coming out in public). He also knew my motivation.

Last week I ask for (breast) hormones and he found me capable enough to let me decide this for myself. With this "green light" I began really doubting about it. Getting breast is like "a point of no return" for me.

Being a lady for me is a gift out of haven. I enjoy everyday of it and love to be admired and "a little special" I know i won't regret getting more feminine but i have a few concerns

First of all I probably never want a SrS and enjoy having a penis ( in that way you could define me as a non-opp transgender). But taking hormones decrease the chance of a fully functioned penis ( which would be a real issue for me), My doctor told me something about smaller doses of hormones would would increase that chance of keeping a fully functioned penis but it's not guaranteed . Could Viagra be a possible solution to this problem ?

Secondly, I really be afraid of getting older
On the Internet you finds thousands of transwoman but all in there 20 til 40's

The few older woman you can find mostly had their transition in the late 60s
I don't think that this i really representable for the possibilities and treatments now a days ( which which are greatly improved compared 40 years ago, nah i hope so :P)

What happened when a transsexual woman becomes older ? Do the male physical attributes become more visible again ( because woman age different than men)

Does anybody of you knows examples, pictures of mature trans ladies that had a late transition.

And am I the only one that worries about this issues ? because it's for the most woman not really a choice but a essential primary need.
My situation is difficult to explain but for me it's more like a big wish/dream.

For all you people that read my post till this far, Thnx for being interested in my problems I hope some of you could help me with this


lots of love
lucrezia