This is a tough topic, but I guess its good that someone feels its an ok place to raise it. Its not uncommon!! I suffered an episode of clinical depression after the death of each of my parents (8 years apart).
I never really contemplated suicide but I certainly learned how people do, you see the world in a much different, black and everything pointless kind of way. I remember seeing an old man in the street one day, and wondering how anyone could stand the agony of living so long.
But in each case it passed in about 6 months. The first time was scarier because I didn't realise it would pass, and I didn't have treatment. The second time I got treatment, but it still lasted 6 months, then just went away, and I've never had it since (that was 20 years ago). But I now know that if one of my family died, I'd be at serious risk of another episode.
It sounds crazy really but I look on it now as a positive, as it helped me understand what other people can suffer.
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