[Vanillas]

My initial reaction to reading of your dilemma was to question how any man could possibly have reservations about wanting to be with someone as intelligent and beautiful as you. But of course to many men, these qualities in a woman can be as threatening as they are enticing. But regardless of the reasons for his hot and cold behavior, it seems to have resonated in you, creating some doubt and conflict of your own. And, judging from some of the previous posts, from people who evidently know you well, perhaps they should heeded.

I do not know you and won't presume to give you advice (and after all, isn't SOME amount of relationship ambivalence existential and even healthy?). But I will offer one caveat: IF this man does take up residence in your house, I suggest you first familiarize yourself with basic Landlord/Tenant law in your area. I live in San Francisco, Ca. It is a city with a strong Tenants' Board and a generally pro-tenant Rental Code. It is not uncommon for a homeowner to have to take a tenant to court simply because he no longer wants to rent out part part of his house - and the tenant refuses to move. In this city at least, once a tenant has been living in a place for even a short time, many of his rights trump those of the homeowner. And the way you described that little area with its own bathroom, it sounded mighty comfortable.

Regardless of what you do I wish you the very best. I think you deserve nothing less. I thoroughly enjoy reading your posts and admire your insights and your writing style. Finally, I'm glad you enjoyed my satirical post Re: a Shemale Circus. But how else can you answer such a question? I mean two T-Girls, each other, at the same time?!