[TheSkronkDonkey]

Originally Posted by racquel

The grass is always greener...

You're complaining about the same thing guys in every country complain about.

Fully agree.

It's an age-old problem.

I'm in the same sort of boat as BlueRaven. Without meaning to sound egotistical, I know I'm good looking (and tall), so I've already got the physical aspect on my side.

But this is not a case of looks. It's a case of PERSONALITY.

Raven, men go for looks; women go for personality. That is an evolutionary fact.

That doesn't mean that there aren't exceptions and variations all around, but it does say something about the underlying psychological qualities of sexual attraction.

Because men can replenish sperm exceedingly fast, they are given to desiring sex and fertile-looking bodies (i.e. hour glass figures) again and again and again. There is a lot of competition out there, so men have to keep going and beating each other to the punch. To put it crudely, they have to be the first to ejaculate in a fertile woman so that their genes can survive.

Women only ovulate once a month and must then carry a baby for nine months, followed by years of nurturing thereafter. They must be exceedingly selective with their partners, finding someone who both looks strong and healthy (i.e. inverted triangle shape) and is socially desirable, as a "guarantee" that the man's genes are "strong" genes and even that he is tough enough to stick around and protect them and their baby.

In the broadest terms possible, that is the psychological game that everyone plays to some extent or another, irrespective of gender or orientation. We are chemical beings with millions of years of evolutionary baggage. Transsexuality and transsexualism is a very profound colouring of this sharp black-and-white breakdown, but a lot of the dynamics are the same.

What does all this mean? It means that looks are important, but they're only the first link in a big chain. The rest is down to you as a person. A man must PROVE his worth to a mate. You do this by projecting confidence, good hygiene, health, wealth, popularity and other desirable traits. You don't have to be the best-looking, best-dressed, most-loaded person on the planet, but you do need to give the impression that you are a worthy mate and capable of facilitating a woman's needs.

Now, for years, people have told me, "Be cool," "Act natural," "Look happy", "Be yourself" and other bullshit platitudes. None of that means a damn. These people are only peripherally aware of a complex series of rules and behaviours you must adhere to or face failure in your courting of a girl/t-girl or whomever. My brother discovered enlightenment a few years ago and has begun teaching me. This is like Jedi training, dude!

What he came across was a fellow called Mystery and an instruction manual he's written based on an elaborate set of social principles called "The Mystery Method". Search these terms on Google and a new world will open up. But you have to be willing and able to learn. A lot of people reject the entire concept out of hand, secondary to ignorance and fear of ridicule or embarrassment. But my brother went from someone who never had a girlfriend to a guy who's had several hot girls and has been the envy of guys in scores of pubs, bars and clubs. Currently, he's dating a hot Chinese girl (after teaching himself some rudimentary Chinese to charm and impress). I met her last week and she's very nice, indeed. He credits The Mystery Method with the bulk of his success. Some people even pay thousands of dollars for personal tuition in dating, but it's possible to buy the books and learn as you go.

When you start reading The Mystery Method, you'll learn about concepts like negging and cock-blocking. The former involves deflating a girl's elevated sense of ego with back-handed compliments and gentle teases and insults (varying in severity depending on the situation and the girl), while the latter is about the fact that a girl is never on her own in a public place like a bar or club and you must appease her mates in order to gain their approval and gain access to your primary target. No one tells you this stuff because they're not consciously aware of it, but Mystery and some other guys decided to record their experiences in exact detail and look for patterns, formalising everything into a step-by-step system. The Mystery Method is the result. Because it's about dating and pulling women, it's a fringe subject and generally regarded with disdain, but after listening to my brother and starting to go through the material myself, I have concluded it is nothing less than a fully-fledged social science. Mystery is not the only exponent. Seduction is an art and a science with its own community and varying ideas and personalities.

Negging, all by itself, as I have begun to read, and as my brother has already indicated and demonstrated, is an extremely powerful way of winning a girl's approval. Forget chat-up lines. Forget saying "Hello" (although that is still vital). Negging is an extremely potent technique for indicating not only wit and humour, but courage and difference. By not directly complimenting a girl from the start, you are doing something most guys don't do, which is important for setting you apart and not having the girl roll her eyes and walk off because she's heard it all before. It's a very nuanced thing, however. It is easy to neg too much or too little. After my brother explained, I realised I had spontaneously done it a few times, usually to girls I liked (at work) but didn't super-fancy. Looking back, I could see that not being super-attracted to them made teasing easier and was something I didn't really have to put much thought into, which meant I wasn't self-conscious or awkward, which are just about the worst things you can be when trying to appear sane, healthy and desirable. For the record, I made real progress with both girls, but they were only short-term and have since left and gone to uni. The hotter the target, the harder it is - higher risk, bigger reward. You'll learn about all of this and the various ins and outs of each technique and how to use and apply them.

Seriously, man. Take the journey. It'll save your life. Start here: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mystery_Method Order the books by Neil Strauss (AKA Style) and Mystery and go from there.