Quote:
Originally Posted by Bionca
This afternoon I was contacted by a guy who says that I can make about $1000 - $2000 / shoot or film...
So - Yes you guys think I should do it (need the money)
Or - No you don't think I should do it (It would be hard to live it down)?
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By this point, I've earned the well-deserved reputation as being the guy who writes the long, boring posts. But you know what? Sorry, here's another one. Since I think of you as a friend, Bionca, I'm going to toss out my two cents -- so either read on or feel free to ignore what I have to say. I'm sure many others here will see the length of what I wrote and just ignore it. But I don't care. This is directed at you AS my friend. All I can say is that I hope that anyone else who reads my posts will read them all the way through, so they get the points that I'm trying to make.
I'll also break this up into three short parts, so it's easier to read and respond to, in case you or anyone else wants to...
PART 1
I'm going to tell you the truth about porn -- and I say this as someone who lives in Hollywood, who has been to parties thrown by porn people in LA or out in the San Fernando valley (the capital of the porn world) and as someone who has met and spent time around professional porn people who cover the emotional range of good, bad, happy, sad, content and tormented.
First of all, let's get rid of a common fallacy about porn, one that people ALWAYS get wrong and I'm seeing it said once again here. It's NOT about "feeling comfortable with it." No offense to anyone who said that here, but that doesn't even enter into the equation when it comes to the
professional porn business because it's just that -- it's a BUSINESS. And the companies that are making it or the investor putting up the funding or the director and crew who are picking up some quick cash for a day's shoot don't care if you're "comfortable". They only care that the guy can get his cock up on cue, that you can both fuck on camera, that can you both go for as long as they need you to go, that you can cum when they want (or repeatedly as need be), and that film can be shot before someone goes cold or they suddenly realizes what they're doing and freak out and possibly ruin the entire shoot.
Yes, there are some companies and personnel that run things on the up-and-up...however, unfortunately there are far MORE porn producers that don't give a shit if they have to get you drunk or stoned or lie to you about the money they have or even falsify medical releases regarding AIDS testing, all so you'll cooperate and lay in bed and be fucked on camera and give them what they need. The porn business is a bit more legitimate these days in the way it operates, but ONLY just a bit and ONLY in certain quarters and with certain companies/personnel. And don't even get me started on the money that can be made and the corruption that subsequently follows with regards to actual payments and whatnot.
Look, here's the bottom line: this whole notion of telling someone it's okay to do something if they're "comfortable with it" (in this case doing actual filmed porn) is nothing more than a cheap Chinese cookie feel-good way of giving someone an excuse -- literally giving them an easy out -- to do it in order to get past an emotional hump that is holding them back (and probably for some very good reasons). In short, it's the classic pop psychology psycho-babble bullshit of telling someone: "Hey, if it makes YOU feel good, then it MUST be okay! So go for it!"
Well, here's a news flash:
that's utter bullshit. Sorry, but just because something makes you feel good -- or just because you can momentarily put aside your personal values that you grew up with or that you go by in your daily life -- does NOT mean that something is suddenly "good" or "right" for you. A true sense of right and wrong...of what you should do in YOUR life...is NOT supposed to be a flip of the coin, conditional thing that you can easily flick on and off like a light switch whenever it's convenient. That's a cop out, pure and simple. And things become ESPECIALLY problematic down the road whenever you push aside your beliefs just because some quick cash is on the line. Safe to say, 99.999% of the time whenever you make ANY decision based around that it will come back to bite you in the ass.
So, no offense to everyone here (and I apologize upfront if I seem to be saying this in too defiant tone), but don't give me this crap that it's perfectly all right to do something just because now -- "in the moment" and for a quick fix reason -- you feel "comfortable" doing it, so that makes it A-OK to do. That isn't any kind of responsible or adult way to make a decision that could affect the rest of your life. Which definitely means that Bionca -- as our friend and as someone we all care about -- certainly shouldn't be doing that either.