thanks bionca.
have now done exactly that. laid it out face to face, what was possible what was not, why it would be unfair in the long run etc etc.
cleared the air. offered to be fairy godfather as long as she wants, shoulder to cry on, adviser etc - agreed. promised not to pursue her or to be nosy but to be an uncritical sounding board when and if she wants
made it clear how much i liked her and respected her and above all didnt want her to get hurt and perhaps the longer the situation went unresolved, the more hurt she might be, so best to get it straight before it hurts too much, but boy did it hurt me doing it
but now its done. we had a great evening, me free of the double header - you know, the 'wow this girl is great, dont let it stop', contrasting the 'i am being unfair if she doesnt have the whole picture'.
so what now - well.....whatever! still talking, but without forked tongue, meeting up tomorrow - best thing i have ever done. i dont feel duplicitous, i dont feel i am using her, and i know she knows that.
wieght off my mind
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