[smc]

My grandmother told me this joke when I was 13. She said I should know a good "dirty" joke.

Three women in their late 50s (okay, they're Jewish mothers) are lounging around the pool at a Miami Beach resort hotel. They have only just met. They are having afternoon cocktails. Inevitably, the conversation turns to their sons.

"My son," says the first mother, "what a boy. First he went to college, then he went to law school, and then he went to medical school. Now he's a lawyer and a doctor."

"That's nothing," says the second mother. "My son is so successful in business that not only does he own a beautiful condo on the Upper West Side of Manhattan, but he has a home in California and another in France."

"Feh!!" snorts the third mother. "My son is so well endowed that when his penis is fully erect, twelve birds can perch on it side by side without touching each other."

The other two women were most definitely impressed.

The conversation shifts, but the cocktails continue. Now the women are getting a little tipsy. Guilt begins to set in. So, the first one says, "Perhaps I was not quite right about my son. Okay, so maybe he could use a good lawyer, and maybe he's recently been to the doctor."

The second mother says, "I, too, have exaggerated a bit. I feel a bit guilty about it. Okay, so maybe my son lives near the Upper West Side. Maybe he's been to California. Maybe he dreams of visiting France."

Finally, it is the third mother's turn. "I, too, have embellished," she says. "So maybe his penis isn't quite so large. So maybe the twelfth bird has to stand on one leg."