hi lacey_maxie
i too adore lingerie and girly clothes and struggled with hiding it from my wife.
well, as many have experienced, the day finally came when she asked me just what it was I was doing with such a collection of lingerie and clothing stuffed in the back of a closet... so I just told her the truth. I told her I loved to wear and preferred to have some cute soft panties on under my jeans than ordinary guys boxers. I expected the worst...but I actually got a pleasant surprise! No yelling... no tears... no throwing me out of the house with a rubbish bag of panties following me! She said she had no problem at all..as I didn't appear to be hurting anyone and in reality - who the hell cares what you have on under! She actually was more upset I hadn't told her - keeping it secret for so long - and suggested we even play dress-ups together!
So maybe this little anecdote may not help you in any way, there could be a possibility that just being slightly open about things...(baby steps at first) could lead to more secure and fulfilling fun later
As for purchasing...I have always bought at department stores and lingerie shops. Before the sales assistant has a chance to look at you differently, just ask "can
she exchange these?" or "do you gift wrap?"
Good luck
I have been there and it was not easy.