Well, for what little it's worth, here's my two cents...
First of all, since the
CEO of the company and his wife (who are clearly going to be the most important people there)...
AND the HR people (who will obviously be protecting you)...
AND your co-workers in your own department (who will obviously have your back)... are ALL aware of your status, I wouldn't worry about the rest of the company. You've already got the best allies you could ever want in your pocket. So, you shouldn't even be thinking twice about going. You work there, the people in power or who need to know anything already
do know something, and they're all cool with you. Not to mention you've worked hard, you've impressed them with your talent, most importantly you've impressed the clients, who now want to meet you as well -- which means you've
earned every right to be there and you
should be there to have some fun, or even to help promote your own career upwards within the company by rubbing some elbows.
So, put on your best Christmas dress and get to that party!
Secondly, if the guys in your own department have been hitting on you and asking you out (which you've deflected by claiming to have a boyfriend), then that's just
another positive and complimentary sign that everyone likes you, they accept you, and they definitely
want you there. And that they will be genuinely happy to see you all dressed up and attending. So, I'm sure there will be plenty of guys hoping to ask for a dance or looking to spike your punch!
So again, put on your best Christmas dress and get to that party!
Third, in terms of asking/bringing this casual "friend with benefits" that you have, I'd simply say this:
why should he care about going? Even if he doesn't like telling HIS friends about your status, the point is he's going to YOUR party where he'll be basically hanging out with strangers. So, it seems to me that going to the party is a no-brainer since it presents no problems at all to him. Seriously, what does he have to lose? He gets to hang out with a beautiful lady that's all dressed up for the night (someone that he has a physical relationship with and he enjoys being with)... he doesn't have to feel self-conscious about your status since the core people you'll be hanging out with are already aware OF your status... he gets out of the house for a relaxing night of holiday fun... and, as the icing on the cake, he gets to chow down on free food and booze.
What more could a guy ask for???
So, since you do have a relationship with him -- casual as it might be -- I'd ask him. What the heck, at least let him have a vote. And if he really does feel uncomfortable going, then screw him! He's a total dope and doesn't realize what a terrific girl he has in hand! In which case, put on your best holiday dress and go have fun mingling, flirting, and dancing all the same! Go have some spiked punch with that cute guy in the IT department who really DOES want to know you better, no matter what your status!
And if none of that works for you, Bionca, then I have one final solution: you could always ask someone here to escort you to the party since there are so many guys who have become impressed by you, who would gladly love a chance at having you on their arm and being your date at a party.
So, I'm sure there are LOTS of volunteers to take you as well.
In fact, even as you're reading this, the stampede to line up has already begun!