I think you're building this up to much. It's not good to obsess. Just get it over with.
And maybe you will get addicted to cocks. What's wrong with that? I think if you ended up being gay and loving cock you'd have a pretty good time, actually. It's a lot easier to hook up at a gay club
Seriously, though, I'm sure you're attracted to femininity. Don't worry so much about being gay or not. Thinking like that makes the world a scary place. That's why tgirls have to worry about some guy being totally into us and then going crazy with guilt and committing some kind of a hate crime.