Don't try this at home
Is it ever safe to use a vacuum cleaner to make yourself come?
Well, there I was, just a kid. I'd read the articles in newspapers about how you might get your cock stuck in the tube, or all the skin might get sucked off, and I thought no that can't be true. I put my finger up the tube and all the skin didn't get sucked off it. So, very carefully, I thought, I approached my cock with it. Not carefully enough, though - next thing I know is a thud of pain as my left bollock got sucked in there instead!
Holy shit! No vacuum cleaner in history has ever been turned off so quick.
I abandoned the experiment for that night. And it wasn't just a case of blue balls, more like black 'n' blue.
So kids, don't try this at home.
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