holy crap... soooooo many typos up there from me...you'd think I was typing with my feet
Talvenada,
Like with most groups of people some will prefer different terms, while some will hate those same terms. I have found most TGs are fine with "transgender" as a neutral term. Some gals HATE "transsexual" however (either it places emphasis on "sex" or it establishes the ultimate goal of sex reassignment).
One word that has some difficulty is "shemale". Some gals are ok with it, and some like it, while some will refuse to speak to someone who uses it. I used to be in the latter camp. The word has a really nasty history (google Janice Raymond) as well as having a relationship with the porn industry. While I'm not fond of the word, I don't automatically disregard a guy who uses it.
Other terms are just silly or insulting. "Chick with a dick" for one is less clever than people think, and I rally don't believe that any woman (regardless of birth) particularly likes to be reduced to her private parts. "Girl with something extra.. that kinda implies that gg's are lacking, and I don't believe that they are. "Best of Both Worlds" can be good if understood correctly, but the guys who "get" that are pretty rare.