Very good words Hank. I think you hit the nail on the head for many men.
"My point is that you have to be a bit of a mind reader. Most people are so insecure especially when we get into taboos.
The poor man may be horrified by the prospect of all the words he'd be called by "friends" "
We have no choice but to confront taboos and any stigma thrown at us as a result. Society is a bitch. Take me for example. I view myself as a bisexual man. Some would say I'm a "queer" or "fag" because I am attracted to tgirls. I don't see this as making me homosexual. And, in all honestly, I am reluctant even labeling myself as bisexual. I am what I am, I like what I like, attracted to what I'm attracted to.
Yet, I am forced by society to live with things. In my life right now (real life not online) there is not one single person I can be completely honest with and open up to. I could never tell my best friends I'm "bi." I could never tell my grandparents I like tgirls.
Because I will surely be judged and labeled. And in a negative and harmful way. I live in a very rural place which shelters people. It's very religious here. There aren't any tgirls and very few homosexuals. It's pretty much old school America if you know what I mean.
Now, in another place perhaps I truly could be open and honest, free with my feelings and desires. Some areas are more accepting than others. And if you don't know anyone there even better. Here everyone knows me. And the rumors, gossip and name calling would make my life a hell.
So, if I found myself in a stroke of good fortune and had a chance to go on a date with a tgirl, no matter how much I may be interested in her and wish for us to get together, I'll always know in the back of my mind the ugliness my world would try to destroy something potentially good.
But I won't find myself in such a predicament since this place is devoid of such opportunity.
And, if my scenario happened one has to keep in mind willingness. I would rightly fear the harm others would heap on me and her as well. But if it really was a true potential relationship (I'm talking love here) perhaps a man might find the courage to stand up to their peers and society. Perhaps a man would gladly take on the condemnation for the sake of romance.
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