Bi/gay/straight, male/female/trans, pre/non/post op - they are all lables that are really only a mental short-hand for dealing with other people. The real question, ultimately is "Does it matter if I'm not exactly heterosexual". Once that question is honestly answered, (and there is no "correct" answer either) everything becomes much easier.
As far as Ila's comment about Transwomen being women, and having "female" brains. It is more and less complicated than that. I can only speak for me here, but at no point in my life did I understand myself to be a man/boy. There are no activities/actions that are exclusive to either male or female aside from biology (women have the babies). So it isn't like I "acted like a girl". It is less concrete than that. I understood that I was a girl.
It is like asking a lesbian why she is gay. Lots of times she will answer she "always knew". No matter how "butch" or "femme" she may present, the understanding was always there.
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