In many ways living "stealth" is living in fear. Also in many ways it is the only way to secure personal safely. The down side is, you monitor EVERYTHING you do and say down to reflexes like coughing, laughing, clearing your throat, yelling, walking, standing...
It translates into the common conceptions of Transwomen being "more feminine than genetic women". For many of us we wrap ourselves in "femininity" as a safety blanket. Better to go too far than not far enough I guess.
It took me some time to be comfortable enough with myself and my body to simply be me - which oddly was the goal all along. In some ways during the journey to authenticity I lost some of "me" and it took some time to get all of her back.
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