Being gay is not a bad thing.
I am not saying you are gay at all. But if you are then that is not a bad thing. It is way more acceptable than being trans especially being MTF.
Have you ever thought since you want penetration that you may be MTF? I mean that isn't even a bad thing. It has done me pretty good. You just have to remember though that most MTF that take Hormones usually end up with very little down there. OMG for some of us that are naturally trans due to genetics or other circumstances due to natural or artificial circumstances and exposure or lack of to certain hormones in the womb before we were born then we may not have much of anything down there too.
Only you can decide what you like, how you want to be treated, who you want to be, who you are and so on. Just remember that porn does not necessarily reflect real life but fantasies.
OK so let me explain a little. I have had boyfriends that liked to have my finger inside them and messaging the prostate. I can't do the penetration deal and even if I could I wouldn't want to. I would play with them with a toy though or wear a strap on even. It is a game of give and take and most important is who you are attracted to and what is between the ears instead of the legs and that both of you are willing to please the other no matter what kinks you may have or they may have without passing any kind of judgment. Does that make sense?
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