Quote:
Originally Posted by russellwu
I understand it's (incredibly) unfair to you, but you have to understand that it isn't *us* that shy away from potential serious relationships; rather, it's society that forces us. Our lives, jobs and platonic relationships are held hostage here... and it's very difficult to ignore the fact. By that same account, I (and hopefully, others) have tremendous respect for those who choose to risk everything for love and identity.
So I hope you don't feel offended when some of us say that we would never date a tgirl (unless heā"or she, in rare casesā"is extremely rude about it). We may lack courage, but for some of us, respect is there.
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Thank you for the honesty, I be honest in return. Please understand that I'm not trying to be mean here at all - and I DO intimately understand the issues around dating a transwoman.
The thing is, I think I have more balls than most guys. I took a hard look at my life when I was 17, I realized the root of my severe depression was that as I was going through puberty EVERYTHING was happening all wrong. When I finally figure out what was happening I couldn't wait to do something about it.
During the course of my first awkward years I lost every friend I had, my parents disowned me (thankfully my brothers are better), I haven't seen any of my extended family in at least 5 years. I'm finding it VERY hard to get a new job because my documentation seems to contradict (birh certificate will say "Male" even if I have the operation).
The thing is, I'm actually lucky. I have a degree, I wasn't forced into subsistance prostitution in order to pay for my life and surgeries. I pass very very well, that gives me a leg up over transwomen who don't or can't. I can go almost anyplace and not be seen as TG (unless someone looks REALLY hard).
Society may be the problem, but not challenging the attitudes of society won't help anything. I don't want to focus too much on the crap that has happened, because in all my life has been great, with some hiccups. I'm just .. amused that there seems to be so much appreciation of how gals like I look, with little consideration of what we had to do to get there and how we feel and think.