[T.S.Severe]

Whenever I try to explain myself, people think I'm joking...unless they really know me well, in which case I don't need to explain anything. Anyway, I'll talk about it here and if people want to roll their eyes, it's okay.

I'm a genetic girl, but since about the time I hit puberty, probably before then, I've always identified most closely with being a gay male. A lot of my friends and even some of my family members just assumed I was a lesbian because of the way I dress, the way I speak and behave. As a teenager and into college, I was very "butch" and the boys I found myself attracted to were small, thin, pretty guys with long hair, jewelry, and all that. Boys who looked like girls, basically, and I used to hang out with the Emo crowd just because that was the place to find guys like that. It makes me laugh now, but it's true.

Unfortunately, most of the guys I liked, weren't interested in me. If the boy was straight, he wanted a girly girl. If the boy was gay, he might find me interesting, but I didn't have a cock, so...Not that interesting. I ended up with a lot of gay male friends. It's just not that easy to find a straight, cross-dressing boyfriend to take to the senior prom. If I had been a lesbian, there were a surprisingly large number of opportunities to hook up, but the idea of kissing another girl, let alone going down on her, sorta turned me off in a big way.

In college, I met a number of pre-op M2F transsexuals, most of them in the very early stages of transitioning. I admired those people a lot and became quite close with one of them, she's still one of my best friends to this day. I did consider transitioning F2M, but not seriously. I'm not that brave, for one thing, and I don't suffer any sort of identity crises, if you will. I'm pretty used to my body and I've never really had a problem with it, so...I just wish I had a cock and balls, you know? I mean, I got depressed for awhile, but worked through it and I do wear dresses and worry about my hair and lipstick. I'm not running around in boots and flannel shirts all the time, although I do love that stereotype.

So for me, the reason I'm at a forum like this, and the reason I like to write TG fiction and all that, is simply that I fantasize about having a pre-op, fully functional M2F partner for purely sexual reasons. I'm not going to pretend it's anything else. And my other reason is that I would love to be a pre-op, fully functional M2F transsexual. I'd make a good shemale, you know? I truly wish I'd been born a male just so I could transition, at least partially, into a female.

But of course, if I'd been born anyone else, I wouldn't be me and I'd probably feel a lot differently about the subject. None of my TG friends were very content with their lives. They had and continue to have some serious issues that I don't envy. Making that change has to be one of the most difficult things to do in the world and I love and respect them all, but the fantasy is a far cry from the reality. I'm happy enough with who I am and how my life turned out, and places like this feed my fantasies, so...I'm pretty lucky, right? That's my story, for what it's worth.