[Be_my_nude]

Bearing in mind what the Moderators have so strongly pointed out, you make it very hard for many of us to give an opinion. You seem to be asking for guidance, and the only way most people can effectively do this is to ' put themselves in the other person's shoes ', as it were.

So really, on this basis you would only get advice from other people who would be prepared to do the same, operating from a similar background.

My actual advice is therefore this. The media is full of stories about people who conduct illicit affairs. Seek out the success stories and use some of those ideas. You already seem to have a relationship of sorts with this girl. You need to discuss it with her and establish whether or not you both can keep that relationship sufficiently superficial to avoid deep feelings / commitment developing.

Whether the ' extra-marital ' affair is heterosexual or non-heterosexual is not an issue at this point, it seems to me.

Either way you will both have to thread your way very very carefully through the dangers.

Good luck to both of you, and take great care.