I've never knowingly met a shemale, but a woman I saw in a pub not too long ago on a night out had this intensely masculine / feminine complexion and got me speculating that she MIGHT have been one. Perhaps I should have got talking -- she definitely seemed interested. Oh, well. That aside...
Welcome to the new guys! I'm fairly new myself. I think this idea of sexuality and sensuality is not a bank of switches permanently set to "off" or "on"; I think it's much more subtle and sophisticated than that. Our tastes and attitudes are always imperceptibly shifting. Occasionally, the manifestations reach a kind of "critical density" and we are forced to deal with them; the rest of the time, we either don't care or live in denial. I think it's healthier to be open to new possibilities -- why bother living otherwise? So this is a place to embrace, not erase.
Did I make any sense up there? Basically, we're all on a never-ending Learning Curve. No one is better than anyone else. You shouldn't feel bad about what you like and dislike --but I think we perpetually do (and I'm no different). I remember when I first started finding shemales and ladyboys hot. I was OK with the idea (well, just about) of masturbating to them, but I recall being "weirded out" (for want of a better description) if I focused too much on the actual physical concept of transsexuality itself. At first, it honestly felt dirty to be looking at penises and bum-holes ....... I mean, I still did, but I also kinda side-stepped focusing too much on them, as well. There was a holding back internally; I looked at these body parts, but in a kind of staccato rhythm in my head; I couldn't give myself fully to the idea of f*cking a shemale in the ass or admiring a shot of a penis for an indefinite period of time. My brain would start closing "windows" as soon as the "light" of such pleasure began shining in. But I worked my way out of that state eventually. Now there is little to no guilt. Now I can and do pretty much imagine anything -- and it's so much better.
Of course, I'd be lying if I said there was absolutely no guilt or doubt whatsoever. Indeed, a subtle amount of these things can create a gentle tension that makes life more interesting. I think you speculating on whether this is just a "rebellious" phase or whatever demonstrates your intelligence. You're keeping an open mind. I think that's always the way to prosper. OK. Enough cookie cutter philosophy. There it stands. Hope you enjoy your time here.
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