NCIS
Caitlin Todd: Speaking of way beyond hinky...
Anthony DiNozzo: Okay, Kate. I can take it.
Caitlin Todd: What was it like, tonguing a guy?
Anthony DiNozzo: [takes deep breath] Forget it. I can't take it.

Timothy McGee: Hey, you know what this reminds me of? Pacci's suspect that we were staking out last year.
Caitlin Todd: That's right! The beautiful pre-op transsexual who seduced Tony.
Anthony DiNozzo: She didn't seduce me. I was undercover.
Caitlin Todd: Yeah, well, didn't you stick your tongue down?
Anthony DiNozzo: I took one for the team, all right? Someone had to keep her occupied.
Timothy McGee: Don't you mean "him?"

[interrogating a ship's captain, Ziva plucks away his cigar]
Captain: [in Turkish, under breath] Bitch...
Ziva David: [in Turkish] How would you like this bitch to apply that cigar to your testicles?

Anthony DiNozzo: [as McGee stumbles while taking photos] Steady, Probie.
Timothy McGee: Tell that to my stomach.
Anthony DiNozzo: [leans down] Steady, Probie's stomach.