There is this tug in me, one which I am not a stranger to. A rising compulsion to cause at least a little bodily harm that would take my mind away from everything else. I imagine this is what cutters experience.
It feels like the only form of release available to me. All my friends are either in college or working all the time, so I have no one on whom to depend.
And I always internalize my pain for prolonged periods. This is new: my speaking about it in such depth.
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