First, I don't think your question is ridiculous and this is something a lot of people go through. I believe that only you know how you feel inside and I cannot say you're either this or that. Just stay true to yourself and it's sometimes better if you weren't so worried about labeling yourself and enjoy whatever is it you like to do.
That aside...well it really comes down to the things a gay dude or a tgirl would say or do. The second tgirl I had a friendship with was 100% a woman trapped in a man's body. Her thoughts were always feminine, her actions were always feminine. We would go out and she always dressed the way she dressed, acted the same in front of everyone. Never did I second guess myself as whether she was faking or just a really fem gay dude.
Now...fast forward 2 years or so and I had the opportunity to meet another lovely 'lady'. 'she' was a lot of fun and we hit it off pretty fast but I soon realized that 'she' was more of a he. Huge
. I felt like I was hanging out with one of my good guy friends rather than a girlfriend like the first girl I was telling you about. The way 'she' would eat, get dressed, walk, talk were all very manly besides the way 'she' looked. It's funny because the first time I met 'her', 'she' was talking non stop about how 'she' always felt like a women and would love to get some surgery someday. The more we talked about conversations like these it turned out, 'she' was happy the way 'she' was with male genitalia and no boobies. I realized that the only feminine thing that was making go back was 'her' looks.
Sometimes it was more of a feeling rather than just a observed type of thing. It's like the feeling of when you're talking to someone you like, a sibling, or a friend. The tone of voice, the things said, body expressions and actions will be different for different individuals.
Anytime you need to talk, don't hesitate to send a message.
This is a very interesting topic. Rep points handed to the OP.