A Love Song ......
Your family and friends and fud (vagina) have all gone really stale,
The ship I sailed into your harbour has turned and is setting sail,
The suburban hell we're living in is a right old f****ng farce,
Cutting grass and washing cars you can stuff right up your arse.
Home sweet home my fanny, It's become a no fun zone,
I hate going to work each morning, but it's better than coming home,
I see you in your leggings and I'd rather kiss the dog,
At least her teeth stay in her mouth when giving her a snog.
I love you still You're in my will
and that is where you'll stay
We'll always have that special bond
Until My dying day
It's safe to say that over time we've slowly grown apart,
You've become a virgin and I've become a tart,
The problem is you've gone off men, and I have started sucking cocks,
and I look so much better than you when I wear your frocks.
It's safe to say you've turned me gay, and I'm off muff for good,
Not that I could ever part your legs, It's like your lips are glued,
Your Fanny looks like ZZ Top, and smells like mouldy plaice,
When we first tried anal sex you farted in my face.
I love you still you're in my will
and that is where you'll stay
We'll always share that special bond
Until my dying day
You tuck your breasts into your socks & Your bras are parachutes,
I knew you died your armpit hairs but now I can see the roots,
The thing that changed it for me was when I got my specs,
It goes to show that marraige should come with safety checks,
When I'm eating pizza It reminds me of your face,
Covered in all sorts of Sh*t with a fat and lumpy base,
The corns and bunions on your feet add three inches to your height,
The nightmares I've been having start when you turn on the lights.
I love you still you're in my will
and that is where you'll stay
We'll always share that special bond
Until my dying day
Your face is like a work of art, by Pablo Picasso,
When you wash your face at night it's with a wire brush and brasso,
I could have stayed in love with you if I went deaf and blind,
I was drunk when I first kissed you and then I lost my mind.
You have the body of Big Daddy, and the face of Worzel Gummidge,
I found all sorts of vermin in your minge the last time I had a rummage,
With what you've got living in your muff you could open up a zoo,
Scientists and Botanists could have a field day just with you.
But I love you still your in my will
and that is where you'll stay
We'll always share that special bond
Until my dying day
So raise your glass and make a toast
& drink to you my wife
Cause it's time I downed this arsenic
and ended this bliddy life ......
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