would understand a good part of this. Being a bit older than you and having lived with this for most of my life, I can tell you that the feelings don't go away as you get older and nor do they diminish if you have sex with GGs. There are many men who try getting marrried and having a family, thinking this will make them 'normal' again. They then find that it doesn't work...

The real problem is guilt. That, and your expectations of what 'society' (ie: your family and friends) expect you to be. If you're attracted to the feminine then... well, you are and that's pretty much it. Sorry to be blunt - but this is how you are and it's a part of you. Trying to reject parts of your own personality is a game you will lose. Don't spend all your time trying to run away from it, as you will drive yourself into depression, addiction or worse. If you can find a way to dress without it interfering too much in your life then try to do so. You don't have to 'come out' or anything like that. It's fighting the urges that makes it worse.

And if you feel uncomfortable having sex with guys, then don't do it! Or, at least find somebody you can relate to better. Getting picked up by total strangers you meet on the internet can be a recipe for trouble.

But, above all, don't feel bad about it. I'm sure there a lot of people on here who will tell you the same.