To answer your first question, a few gals like "shemale", many don't mind it, most absolutely HATE it. It would be a mistake to assume that a trans woman wanted to be referred to as "shemale". The word has a nasty history outside of porn-land and is only really used in porn.
As far as the second question... I honestly have never heard a gal say anything about comparing her penis size to her partner's. I think being hung up on dick size is more of a guy thing - so you all will have to own that.
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