[johndowe]

Hi there.

First thing you HAVE to consider: Men & Women are VERY different emotionally, and see things from a very different perspective, and another thing men are less communicative and expressive than women, women remember dates of things in their lives, men don't, that's why we sometimes forget birthdays or aniversaries, not because we don't care, but simply because we see time and dates differently.

When he said: "I love you because you're my girl" he didn't say it like you understand it, he said it like I understand it, he loves you because you accepted him as he was, you stuck by him and you had a child with him and he stuck by you then also, it wasn't the ansewer you expected, but it was still a good ansewer, about the insurance thing, he wanted to mary you so you would have medical coverage, because he cares for you and your health and your child's health, isn't that love, even if it isn't verbalised properly?

I remember my first live-in g/f we were living togather for about a year and she comes out with "you take me for granted", my first tought was: "Yes and i wouldn't have it any other way" but if i'd said that, she would have gone balistic, only because she wouldn't have understood the ansewer.

What i meant by that was that, we were comfortable togather, at least i was, and i KNEW i could count on her and she could count on me, i respected her and she me, to me that was the best ansewer i could give but because i knew she wouldn't understand it as i meant, i enumerated alot of the things that she did for me and us as a couple instead, to me it was an inferior ansewer, but to her it was a better ansewer, so as i said, men and women are VERY different emotionally.

Also, when men love someone they accept it and live with it as such, but when women love someone they don't do it wholehartedly as men, they need to be told, and told often, as if their love would dis-appear if she wasn't told, and it does from my perspective anyway, so did she realy love him/me in the first place? from my perspective, when i love a woman i tell her once in a while, but not every day, if she needs to hear it every day so she would "stay" in love with me she should buy a tape recorder and record it, and not have mis-guided ideas that if i don't say it i don't feel it, all while i don't hear her saying it to me every day either.

Another thing, i have seen this often; a couple break up after living togather a few years she sais he doesn't love her, but when she leaves he is devastated; proof that he didn't love her? And she goes on with her life as if nothing happened; proof that she loved him?


JohnDowe.