Posted: 28-JAN-09
Q: What is the worst thing an emergency doctor can tell you after admitting your MIL?
A: Sir, we were able to save her!
Posted: 7-NOV-08
Q: What is the ideal weight for a MIL?
A: About 2.3lbs, including the urn.
Posted: 14-MAY-08
The clock fell off the wall. If it was a minute sooner, it would have hit my MIL. That clock was always slow!
Posted: 22-JUL-06
My MIL is banned internationally from playing poker, as she keeps all the chips on her shoulder!
Posted: 13-JUL-06
Standing at the edge of the lake, a man saw a woman flailing about in the deep water. Unable to swim, the man screamed for help. A trout fisherman ran up. The man said, "My wife is drowning and I can't swim. Please save her. I'll give you a hundred dollars." The fisherman dove into the water. In ten powerful strokes he reached the woman, put his arm around her, and swam back to shore. Depositing her at the feet of the man, the fisherman said, "Okay, where's my hundred dollars?" The man said, "Look, when I saw her going down for the third time, I thought it was my wife. But this is my MIL." The fisherman reached into his pocket and said, "Just my luck. How much do I owe you?"
Posted: 27-JAN-06
I was out shopping the other day when I saw six women beating my MIL up. As I stood there and watched, her neighbor, who knew me, said, "Well, aren't you going to help?" I replied, "No. Six of them is enough".
Posted: 19-JUL-05
Q: What do you do if you miss your MIL??
A: RELOAD, AND TRY AGAIN!!!!!!!!!!!
Posted: 24-MAR-05
Two men were in a pub. One says to his mate, "My MIL is an angel." His friend replies, "You're lucky. Mine is still alive."
Posted: 11-FEB-05
Q: What do you have when your MIL is covered in concrete up to her shoulders?
A: Too little concrete!
Posted: 21-OCT-04
My FIL was driving down the road and was pulled over by a policeman. Walking up to my FIL's car, the policeman said, "Your wife fell out of the car five miles back." My FIL replied, "Thank God for that, I thought I'd gone deaf!"
Posted: 12-OCT-04
I wouldn't say that my MIL was ugly, but every time she puts on lipstick, it tries to crawl back into the tube.
Posted: 7-MAR-04
Q: How do you stop your MIL from drowning?
A: Take your foot off her head.
Posted: 1-NOV-03
Q: What should you do if you see your Mother-In-Law rolling around in pain on the ground?
A: Shoot her again.
