Quote:
Originally Posted by Bionca
At first I was a little angry with what your fella said, but really to one extent or another it's pretty true. The "self-centered" bit is what got me the most, but that's really part of being strong enough to transition and finding the resources to do so. I could have lied to protect my family, my friend could continue to pretend to save her relationship, I could have donated the money I used for FFS to charity... however..
The thing is, we are called "selfish" lots by people who want to discourage us from transitioning (probably not your bf's case). So "selfish/self-centered" hits me wrong in this context. Since the flip-side of that is all the people who want us to NOT transition are pretty much acting on their own feelings of selfishness in wanting and expecting us to stay the way THEY are comfortable.
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Well firstly J. is supportive on all the things & acts as a good sounding board.
J. doesn't want me to have FFS as he thinks I look beautiful as I am.
But as you know its not what others see, but ourselves.
I'm provisionally over to the usa next month for FFS with Dr Z in chicago
& while J. would rather i didn't, he has offered to come over to look after me post op.
One of my best friends who is also like us,
wrote to me about herself, and me
and talked about how alll ts's are selfish, and need to be like that in order to focus on surviving the hurdles.
While she is like that to a big degree & thats not being bitchy ....
I idolise her & have her on a pedestal She transitioned 2 years prior to me
I don't think I'm selfish or self centred at all.
But after I questioned J. on the above comment
he just nodded & smiled.
So I guess its a fair comment.
And yes I totally agree with your closing comment, the resistance I've met from friends & family at every point is just that, though fully understandable.