[kitty cox]

When I was 14, this boy, just a few months younger than me was the one that cemented my desire for small breasted (just budding) TGirls. We were both going through adolescence and the Girls were making us salivate but neither of us would be fortunate enough to get anything more than a good tease out of the girls, but I also had a crush on this very feminine little blond boy, and I told him that I knew he wanted a girl just as much as I did, and I would give him a blow job, and he could just close his eyes and act, as if I was a girl doing it to Him. (Note: that's what I was secretly pretending to be) He said OK, and I went to my knees instantly, he started to unbuckle his belt, and I stopped him and said it would be more like a girl was doing it if he let me do it, so he said OK! The truth was that the former encounter with the other boy when I was eleven had me addicted to unwrapping the object of my desire, the act of unbuckling his belt, then the top button of his pants, then down came the zipper, then peeling open the unzipped fly, then a deep inhale of young, hairless, boy cock , the light sent of soap and sweat and swimming pools and that aroma that only lives in the few seconds right when you first set it free, then the first gentle kisses planted on his penis and balls through his white cotton underwear then mouthing and lightly nibbling his prick until I would hook my fingers in the elastic waistband of his underpants pull them down as his ever hard cock pointed strait at my wide open mouth, I would drop my cock hungry mouth down on his throbbing cock caressed only with my moist, fevered breath until I would close my wet soft lips on the base of his hairless balls and then begin the slow teasing slide up his hot throbbing shaft, I would repeat this over and over until eventually he release a sweat load of hot cream for my anticipated reward. We did this almost every school night and all day and night long during the long summer. I was in love with this boy, and it gave me a serious case of cock suckers fever, when all you do is think about is your forbidden desire to make love to that special someone in that special way. I pushed him for a more girlfriend like allowances, and he eventually let me suck his nipples, and I use to say to him, can I suck your pussy when I wanted to suck his cock, you see it wasn't just me that pretended to be a girl for him, he pretended to be a girl for me as well. Looking back, on what I know now, I realize that I was trying to feminize him. and he was trying to feminize me. I asked him if girls' panties turned him on. He said yes. I unbuckled my pants, unzipped my fly and showed him that I was wearing a pair of white nylon panties with cute little satin bows on the waistband. I tried, but I could not get him to put on a pair. I think he was terrified at being caught, I was to, and if anyone had found out what we were doing it would have been hell in that day. I know he wanted to try on the panties because when I would take a pair and rub them on his inner thighs and balls and sometimes put them over his cock and suck him through them. He would moan and that was different for him, because he would just sit quit as a mouse as he filled my mouth, with his sweet cream and not make a sound. Have you stood in amazement at the stamina of a teenage boy, he would spew his cream, and I would keep on going, he never softened and we would just move on to the next climax I tried to get him to spend the night, initially because I hoped I could get him under the covers with me and I could get my hands on this cock before it got hard. I imagined that it would be fun to have his soft penis grow to a full erection by my gentle caressing. Because as hard as I tried, I never could get to his cock before he was hard as a rock. I think he knew we were more like boyfriend and girlfriend and spending the night meant commitment. I know he wanted to because when we started experimenting with getting high, he would lose some of his cool male pretense and this one time, agreed to spend the night but when he called his mother to ask for permission she suspected he was drinking and told him to come right home. He was raised alone by his mother, it was a single parent family. For some reason his father wanted to get back in his life. I was shattered with the news that he would be moving to Florida to live with his father. I begged him to stay but he really did not have a choice. we wrote to each other a couple of times but his letters just made me sadder knowing I would not see him that day, that night and maybe never again. He was so smart I would take him to my school and show him off I would say you should meet my friend and tell them how fast he could read. I wonder if they could pick up in my voice that I meant my boyfriend and lover. I on the other hand did not take to school work at all back then and could barely keep a passing grade so writing for me was very difficult The few letters I did get were ended with little secret messages that he missed me, we could not say what we really felt. he called me one time, but calling on the phone was expensive back then and if you remember my family was dirt poor.
After I lost that lovely little innocent love affair I have never had a desire to have sex with man or boy again I can honestly say I have never looked at a member of my same sex, man or boy, and felt any attraction sexual or otherwise, because I was heartbroken and nothing could replace that once upon a time love of mine. I thought that for sure I would never have that need met again; I reasoned that they were the things of youth and as the next few years past I grieved the loss with horrible results. I went on a three year drinking and drugging bender. during that time I turned full time attention to girls. I did keep my desire to be feminine and to wear girls things but now I hoped to find a girl that would like dressing me up or find it stimulating to see a well dressed girlyboy but I could never even get my self to so much as bring up the subject with a girl that I was dating. This made the secret forbidden desire all the stronger. but Truthfully, how many of us will be lucky enough to have a relationship with a female that would treat this kind of thing with loving acceptance? But now I truly am looking at males, but because they do not look very much like a male except between their legs and I always want then small down there and circumcised signing off Kitty Kelly.