Quote:
Originally Posted by kitty cox
Your experience with the older boy had an impact on your sexual development; can you share what you think that was? Furthermore, did this have a domino effect or a branching out effect in one direction or another?
|
i cant really think of anything other than a fascination with sex in general. particularly the male since i didnt know right or wrong (as society deems). so like you with racing hormones i simply endulged in what felt good.
for some reason....and i hope you guys can back me up on this, but it seems like people like us seem to portray an aura - perhaps a sent or something that others like us pick up on. did it have a domino effect? yes, there were incidents during school (reading time under the table with another boy) and in camping with another boy in scouts. its not that i desired boys but they seemed to understand me better and they wanted what i wanted. it was just easier. and it seemed like they were able to find me pretty easilly.
it sort of came to an end when one of my playmates told me he wasnt gay but that he was just really horny and since neither of us had girlfriends we would just help each other out. i felt like it was more than that. at times i still think about him and the playing we did.
i suppose this is where my fascination with tgirls comes from. they are boys but they are girls. so its the best of both worlds. i suppose there is a bunch of fucked up shit going on inside my head. truth is i have tried to forget these memories and pretend they didnt happen for so many years i thought i was almost over them and now and then they come rushing back to me. i suppose i still dont know who or what i want. i dont understand my fascination with panties either. i just like weird stuff i suppose. i know its deeper than that and thats the point of this thread. as i said, i just burried a lot of these emotions for many many years.
great thread by the way - thank you