obviously you exit - and you have names: Homo, Closet-Case, Admirer, and Chaser. Do these accurately describe you? Do these describe what you guys want to be?
"Admirer"and "Chaser" seem to be popular within the "scene", but they are not particularly positive.
Admirer: Guys looking from afar, and not really participating OR Night-time visitors who show up when the wife is away.
Chaser: A guy actively looking and "chasing" any old trans woman, always on the hunt for that elusive fantasy trans - and willing to "trade up".
You bring up a very good point about the whys men are reluctant to be open about their attractions. Trans people face the same issues. I hear guys lamenting "If only society was different, I'd be free to explore/date/introduce". But it really doesn't progress from there. Nothing gets better just because.
*This is where I get in trouble*
This opinion is colored by my past experiences and observations and should only be taken in that light. Trans women don't have the luxury of being angsty about this for very long. We live in a world that wants to ignore us at best destroy us more often. We don't have an out, we can't break up with ourselves. We can't tell our friends we were drunk/confused/deceived.
While we are all impacted to one degree or another by social, legal, and economic issues related to being and dating trans - I don't see many men stepping up to make it better. I know plenty of trans men and women doing lots of hard work, I see plenty of cis women who are dating trans men and women (Helen Boyd for example) being open and honest and working with us to make things easier. I know a handful of men who do much more than wish it wasn't so hard.
There has to be a solution. Men have to be a part.
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