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-   -   Life is hard on Transexuals (http://forum.transladyboy.com//showthread.php?t=9344)

fatbloke 07-04-2010 03:34 AM

Life is hard on Transexuals
 
This may sound a bit weird,but like everyone else on this site,i love to look at pornographic pictures and movies of Ladyboys.Yes,i really enjoy it,but i always feel guilty,it is actually bothering me that so many Transsexuals have to turn to pornography,prostitution,dancing in bars,cam sex and other stuff to make a living.Maybe i am being totally naive and short sighted,hey,it would'nt be the first time,you should read some of my posts on here.Anyway,there seems to be a great prejudice against people who choose to live their life as a different gender than they started out with,personally i always thought "Live and let live",not very progressive for the 21st century i think.

franalexes 07-04-2010 10:30 AM

I think if you look back at some of the posts made by others and myself, about the time I joined this forum ; you will find this subject well addressed.
It does need to be said from time to time for the benefit ( education) of new members. Change is not so easily dismissed as saying it was a choice, but that is mentioned as well.
I know many of you think T-gurls are over sexed and easy. Not true.
Think of it this way; just because you are 100% male does not make you the greatest stud there ever was.
You may be dissapointed that as a woman you aren't a porn star.:frown: As a guy you aren't God's gift to women. :(
I watched the people going through the check out line at WalMart and you know,,,,,I don't look so bad.:)
So in the real world, how do you tell the difference between the drag queen and the true TG ? The TG is the one in the sweatshirt and bluejeans. She just wants to pass.

rockabilly 07-04-2010 10:38 AM

Life is hard on transexuals and those that love them too.

Shemale Cam Addict 07-04-2010 09:20 PM

well, you actually have to think it the other way around too.
I`d say a large % of transsexuals make the change from gay male to "shemale" because they need money. If nobody liked shemales then there would be a lot less shemales in the world.

smc 07-05-2010 06:57 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 151252)
well, you actually have to think it the other way around too.
I`d say a large % of transsexuals make the change from gay male to "shemale" because they need money. If nobody liked shemales then there would be a lot less shemales in the world.

It is repulsive to see the mental anguish that must come from being born "in the wrong body" diminished in this way. I think you need to explain your reasoning, Shemale Cam Addict.

franalexes 07-05-2010 07:30 AM

The only one making money is my doctor, my psyrink and my pharmacy.

aw9725 07-05-2010 12:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 151252)
well, you actually have to think it the other way around too. I`d say a large % of transsexuals make the change from gay male to "shemale" because they need money.

I?m surprised that you would say something like that especially as you claim to have a GF who is trans. My (still limited) understanding of transitioning is that it is done to correct the fact that the person was born ?in the wrong body? as smc has pointed out. The transsexuals that I know all have regular jobs and work hard simply to ?fit in? as a part of society just like the rest of us. I don?t know any who work in the porn industry.

I agree that life must be hard for them. It has been said that ?transphobia? is the last bastion of prejudice in our society. Even gays and lesbians seem to me more accepted. There isn?t a day that goes by that I don?t think about the images of violence I saw at last year?s ?Day or Remembrance.? Someone who is that brave to truly be themselves deserves our respect--whether they are an accountant, doctor, tennis player, clerk at Wal-Mart, or a porn star.

fatbloke 07-05-2010 02:28 PM

I remember i posted about the day of remembrance last year i think it was,maybe earlier,i said some really crap things.Now that i know more i feel really ashamed of myself.I have posted some really shit things on this site and made some really crass and immature comments,personally i deserve a good arse kicking.
Now i am more informed,still no where near enough,i mean without going thru that life change,how can we be,i appreciate the strength of character needed,the strength of purpose and the bravery,i can appreciate it but i have no idea what it takes.

smc 07-05-2010 02:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatbloke (Post 151324)
I remember i posted about the day of remembrance last year i think it was,maybe earlier,i said some really crap things.Now that i know more i feel really ashamed of myself.I have posted some really shit things on this site and made some really crass and immature comments,personally i deserve a good arse kicking.
Now i am more informed,still no where near enough,i mean without going thru that life change,how can we be,i appreciate the strength of character needed,the strength of purpose and the bravery,i can appreciate it but i have no idea what it takes.

I have a great deal of respect for you, fatbloke, for posting this. I remember being one of the people who argued with you about some of those "crap things" you mention. None of us are perfect (myself included, at the front of the line); it is a courageous man indeed who can admit to having learned something. :respect::respect:

fatbloke 07-05-2010 04:08 PM

Thank you for saying that,i have learnd a lot,still nowhere near enough,but i hope i don't sound so much like a complete prick anymore:respect::respect:

Shemale Cam Addict 07-14-2010 05:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smc (Post 151287)
It is repulsive to see the mental anguish that must come from being born "in the wrong body" diminished in this way. I think you need to explain your reasoning, Shemale Cam Addict.

You should read more carefully, I`m not saying ALL of them, but I do know that this applies to many cases, and I know it for a fact. Going from gay male to transsexual is not an easy step, and in third world countries where there aren`t many "regular" jobs available, prostitution is a choice that some people make and it`s sure a lot easier to get customers for a guy being dressed as a girl.

I`m not trying to offend anyone here, but I bet the % of transsexuals is much bigger in 3rd world countries than in other countries. Why do you think most shemale escorts in Europe are from South America?

Shemale Cam Addict 07-14-2010 05:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aw9725 (Post 151317)
I?m surprised that you would say something like that especially as you claim to have a GF who is trans. My (still limited) understanding of transitioning is that it is done to correct the fact that the person was born ?in the wrong body? as smc has pointed out. The transsexuals that I know all have regular jobs and work hard simply to ?fit in? as a part of society just like the rest of us. I don?t know any who work in the porn industry.

I agree that life must be hard for them. It has been said that ?transphobia? is the last bastion of prejudice in our society. Even gays and lesbians seem to me more accepted. There isn?t a day that goes by that I don?t think about the images of violence I saw at last year?s ?Day or Remembrance.? Someone who is that brave to truly be themselves deserves our respect--whether they are an accountant, doctor, tennis player, clerk at Wal-Mart, or a porn star.

I don`t know any who work in the porn industry either, but I do know some that work as escorts and a good friend of mine has tons of ts friends who work as escorts, he himself used to escort as a cross desser, and we talked about this issue a few times, and believe me I know what I`m talking about.

It may not sound pretty but it`s true, and of course, as I said before, it doesn`t apply to all cases.

smc 07-14-2010 05:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 152194)
You should read more carefully

You should write more carefully.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 152194)
I`m not trying to offend anyone here, but I bet the % of transsexuals is much bigger in 3rd world countries than in other countries. Why do you think most shemale escorts in Europe are from South America?

Absent real data, I think it is just as possible to conclude that South American girls travel to Europe to work as escorts because of the levels of disposable income in European countries, coupled with lower levels of overall prejudice than those bred by poverty in their home countries. In other words, they go there as escorts seeking higher incomes, not to be escorts per se -- which is the implication of your argument.

Shemale Cam Addict 07-14-2010 06:32 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smc (Post 152196)
You should write more carefully.

fair

Absent real data, I think it is just as possible to conclude that South American girls travel to Europe to work as escorts because of the levels of disposable income in European countries, coupled with lower levels of overall prejudice than those bred by poverty in their home countries. In other words, they go there as escorts seeking higher incomes, not to be escorts per se -- which is the implication of your argument.

they start as escorts in their countries and they go to Europe to make more money. I`m not saying they become transsexuals to go to Europe, they become transsexuals because they are gay, very feminine most times, and to work as prostitutes to get out of poverty, so it`s a combination of things. And if you think about it, it makes perfect sense.

Shemale Cam Addict 07-14-2010 06:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smc (Post 152196)
You should write more carefully.



Absent real data, I think it is just as possible to conclude that South American girls travel to Europe to work as escorts because of the levels of disposable income in European countries, coupled with lower levels of overall prejudice than those bred by poverty in their home countries. In other words, they go there as escorts seeking higher incomes, not to be escorts per se -- which is the implication of your argument.

And again I`m not making this up, of course it`s not the case for all tgirls, but it sure is for a good % of the ones who are born in poverty and end up working as escorts.

aw9725 07-14-2010 07:09 PM

Shemale Cam Addict,

You (and others who make these kind of posts) sound just like one of my former students who used to spend all his time on-line. He was a karate expert, played in a band that was going to tour with Godsmack (or maybe it was “Korn”) :lol:, had worked for Microsoft as a developer, drove in NASCAR, and had dated “Gabrielle” from Xena Warrior Princess. I’m sure he was god’s gift to women as well--he was going to fix me up with Lucy Lawless herself!--unfortunately I was married and had to decline… In fact, WHATEVER anyone said or did, he always had “one better.”

I believe that if you really knew what you were talking about, you wouldn’t be so defensive. You would also acknowledge what smc and I both wrote and recognize that we might know what we are talking about too.

Now I will repeat what I said before:

Quote:

“My (still limited) understanding of transitioning is that it is done to correct the fact that the person was born “in the wrong body” as smc has pointed out. The transsexuals that I know all have regular jobs and work hard simply to “fit in” as a part of society just like the rest of us. I don’t know any who work in the porn industry.

I agree that life must be hard for them. It has been said that “transphobia” is the last bastion of prejudice in our society. Even gays and lesbians seem to me more accepted. There isn’t a day that goes by that I don’t think about the images of violence I saw at last year’s “Day or Remembrance.” Someone who is that brave to truly be themselves deserves our respect--whether they are an accountant, doctor, tennis player, clerk at Wal-Mart, or a porn star.”

smc 07-14-2010 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 152199)
they start as escorts in their countries and they go to Europe to make more money. I`m not saying they become transsexuals to go to Europe, they become transsexuals because they are gay, very feminine most times, and to work as prostitutes to get out of poverty, so it`s a combination of things. And if you think about it, it makes perfect sense.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 152200)
And again I`m not making this up, of course it`s not the case for all tgirls, but it sure is for a good % of the ones who are born in poverty and end up working as escorts.

I am growing weary of this kind of debate. I don't know how else to put this, so here goes: if you were a student in the graduate program I teach in at a leading university, and made these points in an assigned paper, you would probably find yourself on academic probation within 24 hours.

Shemale Cam Addict 07-14-2010 08:20 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by aw9725 (Post 152204)
Shemale Cam Addict,

You (and others who make these kind of posts) sound just like one of my former students who used to spend all his time on-line. He was a karate expert, played in a band that was going to tour with Godsmack (or maybe it was ?Korn?) :lol:, had worked for Microsoft as a developer, drove in NASCAR, and had dated ?Gabrielle? from Xena Warrior Princess. I?m sure he was god?s gift to women as well--he was going to fix me up with Lucy Lawless herself!--unfortunately I was married and had to decline? In fact, WHATEVER anyone said or did, he always had ?one better.? Of course in real life he was laughed at and had no friends.

I believe that if you really were telling the truth, you wouldn?t be so defensive. You would also acknowledge what smc and I both wrote and recognize that we might know what we are talking about too.

Now I will repeat what I said before:

Defensive? I`m just trying not to offend anyone.
Let me assure you I`m not making this up, why would I?
It seems like you just don`t want to accept the fact that things are not the same for everyone.

Shemale Cam Addict 07-14-2010 08:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smc (Post 152207)
I am growing weary of this kind of debate. I don't know how else to put this, so here goes: if you were a student in the graduate program I teach in at a leading university, and made these points in an assigned paper, you would probably find yourself on academic probation within 24 hours.

This is not a university this is just a simple internet forum, I`m just sharing something I know, not something I think, that`s all. If you find it too hard to believe then simply don`t.

smc 07-14-2010 08:51 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 152212)
This is not a university this is just a simple internet forum, I`m just sharing something I know, not something I think, that`s all. If you find it too hard to believe then simply don`t.

If you "know" it, how about proving it with some facts that you can share with the rest of us. That is the substance of the argument I am making. You make a statement that is impressionistic, that I also think is dismissive, and then you just say you "know" it's true. Prove it.

Shemale Cam Addict 07-14-2010 09:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smc (Post 152214)
If you "know" it, how about proving it with some facts that you can share with the rest of us. That is the substance of the argument I am making. You make a statement that is impressionistic, that I also think is dismissive, and then you just say you "know" it's true. Prove it.

How would you like me to prove it then? Give me an idea

Shemale Cam Addict 07-14-2010 10:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by smc (Post 152214)
If you "know" it, how about proving it with some facts that you can share with the rest of us. That is the substance of the argument I am making. You make a statement that is impressionistic, that I also think is dismissive, and then you just say you "know" it's true. Prove it.

let me try something, picture this:

You`re a boy in your teens, you`re gay, you`re poor and you live in a 3rd world country in a poor neighbourhood. There aren`t many opportunities for you, you live in a room with your mom and brothers and sisters, your mom is a maid and gets paid almost nothing. You are old enough to work and you try to help your family, you get a job but it also pays poorly, one of your gay friends tells you he`s working on the streets and making money, then you also start doing it. You also know tgirls who work as prostitutes as well, and they encourage you to start dressing as a girl and put some make up and you do so, you go stand on the streets where shemales work, and you make even more money, now you`re helping your family, you move to a better place and there`s food on the table every day, you don`t make that much but it`s better than nothing, then a tgirl friends loans you money to put on some silicone so your body looks more feminine, you start dressing more feminine, you make more money, you save for a nose job or a boob job, you start making more, now you dress as a girl most of the day, and you still want to look better so you start taking hormones and you feel more like a woman each day, and it goes on and on.

Too hard to believe? You probably think that if it was you in that situation then you`d have found another way, but you probably don`t know what it feels like when your mother sends you and your little brothers and sisters to go to bed early because there`s nothing for dinner, and you feel bad because there`s nothing you can do. I didn`t go through anything similar either but I can understand it.

Now, did I make this up? no way, why? Do I look cool for saying this?
I personally know many tgirls, I`m not close to them but I`m very close to my girlfriend who is a tgirl and a gay friend who was once a cd prostitute, and of course they are close to many girls and it`s a fact that the sad story I just told you it`s similar to many tgirls that work as prostitutes and were born and raised in poor places.

smc 07-15-2010 06:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 152220)
let me try something, picture this:

You`re a boy in your teens, you`re gay, you`re poor and you live in a 3rd world country in a poor neighbourhood. There aren`t many opportunities for you, you live in a room with your mom and brothers and sisters, your mom is a maid and gets paid almost nothing. You are old enough to work and you try to help your family, you get a job but it also pays poorly, one of your gay friends tells you he`s working on the streets and making money, then you also start doing it. You also know tgirls who work as prostitutes as well, and they encourage you to start dressing as a girl and put some make up and you do so, you go stand on the streets where shemales work, and you make even more money, now you`re helping your family, you move to a better place and there`s food on the table every day, you don`t make that much but it`s better than nothing, then a tgirl friends loans you money to put on some silicone so your body looks more feminine, you start dressing more feminine, you make more money, you save for a nose job or a boob job, you start making more, now you dress as a girl most of the day, and you still want to look better so you start taking hormones and you feel more like a woman each day, and it goes on and on.

Too hard to believe? You probably think that if it was you in that situation then you`d have found another way, but you probably don`t know what it feels like when your mother sends you and your little brothers and sisters to go to bed early because there`s nothing for dinner, and you feel bad because there`s nothing you can do. I didn`t go through anything similar either but I can understand it.

Now, did I make this up? no way, why? Do I look cool for saying this?
I personally know many tgirls, I`m not close to them but I`m very close to my girlfriend who is a tgirl and a gay friend who was once a cd prostitute, and of course they are close to many girls and it`s a fact that the sad story I just told you it`s similar to many tgirls that work as prostitutes and were born and raised in poor places.

I stand by my original response to what you originally wrote. You wrote:

I`d say a large % of transsexuals make the change from gay male to "shemale" because they need money. If nobody liked shemales then there would be a lot less shemales in the world.

I wrote:

It is repulsive to see the mental anguish that must come from being born "in the wrong body" diminished in this way.

You dismiss in every one of your posts the real-life situations of people who "make the change" because that they are trapped inside the wrong body, money or not. I have no doubt that your story applies in many cases, but I strongly suggest that you go back and read the second post in this thread, from our member Franalexes, and ask yourself whether perhaps you should have been a bit more thoughtful about what you wrote.

Communication is a tricky thing. People always complain that they were misunderstood, implying an error on the part of the listener or reader, when in fact it is the communicator who is responsible for ensuring that she or he is understood. Fran was pretty damn clear; at best, you were not.

sesame 07-15-2010 06:57 AM

Quote:

you`re gay, you`re poor and you live in a 3rd world country in a poor neighbourhood.
Nice story.

But you emphasize on poverty & sex industry as the root cause of becoming a Tgirl from a man.

In this site I have talked to many sincere Tgirls. Most of them think that the psychological factor of "feeling like a woman trapped in a male body" is the main motive force. Many well to do people also decide to transform.
Why the are so many tgirls in Pornograhy? Actually the surgeries are very costly thats why many Tgirls join the porn trade to save some money for further augmentations. Others Work hard. But then, its very hard for Tgirls to get decent jobs.

alyssaluxor 07-15-2010 09:59 AM

yes its really hard if i were given a chance to have a second life i would prefer to be a straight guy or genetic girl! :lol:

JodieTs 07-15-2010 06:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by fatbloke (Post 151218)
...but i always feel guilty,it is actually bothering me that so many Transsexuals have to turn to pornography,prostitution,dancing in bars,cam sex and other stuff to make a living.

It is just possible some of us actually like those jobs.
Just a thought.

Most Ts's I know, work in normal jobs.
And have no interest in trans forums, let alone ones geared towards porn, like this one.

That means those of us who post here are more likely to have some adult industry connection.
The ratios of trans on this site who work in mainstream or porn
bears no connection to the ratio in mainstream life.

Its self-selecting.

JodieTs 07-15-2010 06:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 151252)
well, you actually have to think it the other way around too.
I`d say a large % of transsexuals make the change from gay male to "shemale" because they need money. If nobody liked shemales then there would be a lot less shemales in the world.

WTF!!!
Not correct.
We transition to make the body match the internal gender.
Not to turn a trick! :censored:

Also,
Many ts including me
never identified as a gay man pre transition.

JodieTs 07-15-2010 06:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 152194)
I`m not trying to offend anyone here, but I bet the % of transsexuals is much bigger in 3rd world countries than in other countries. Why do you think most shemale escorts in Europe are from South America?

Trans is not generally accepted in the western world.
Its Christianity s fault.
|We used to be burned alive as witches]

Other cultures it is accepted to a much higher degree.
Visibility in those places is therefore higher.
Still the same % of people are trans, across the world, though.

JodieTs 07-15-2010 06:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Shemale Cam Addict (Post 152219)
How would you like me to prove it then? Give me an idea

Quote sections of academia texts on trans,
with links.

smc 07-15-2010 07:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JodieTs (Post 152311)
Quote sections of academia texts on trans,
with links.

Jodie is my new hero. You're welcome in my classes, any time!

Amy 07-16-2010 04:24 AM

It always makes me sad and more than a little angry when people just don't get it like this.


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