Movie Quotes
 

I'm not really sure what made me think of this, but I thought it'd be a good thread to start...

Movie lines that would change the world...

I just finished watching Star Wars, Ep. 3, and for some reason the quote, "Luke, I am your father," came to mind... What if George Lucas would've worded it differently? What about... "Luke... Who's your daddy?"

Feel free to post what movie lines you think would've changed the world, or just your favorite lines in general. :respect:

My favorite quote from one of my favourite movies: Old Boy.

The original one is: "Laugh and the world laughs with you. Weep... and you weep alone"

But I don't know how I'll change it....

And of course a classic of all times:

"The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he who, in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of the darkness. For he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know I am the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon you."

Just amazing.

heres a film quote i think needs no changing its from, from dusk till dawn. the scene outside the titty twister. the best bar ever.

awright! Pussy, pussy, pussy!
come on in pussy lovers!
here at the tity twister, we're slashing pussy in half
give us an offer on our vast selection of pussy.
this is a pussy blowout!
awright! We got white pussy, black
pussy, Spanish pussy, yellow pussy,
we got hot pussy,cold pussy, we got wet pussy,
we got smelly pussy, we got hairy pussy,
bloody pussy, we got snappin pussy,
silk pussy, velvet pussy, maldahide pussy
we even got horse pussy, dog pussy
chicken pussy!
come on!
you want pussy?
come on in, pussy lovers!
if we don't got it you don't want it
come on in pussy lovers...............
attention pussy shppers!
take advantage of our penny pussy sale
if you buy one piece of pussy at the regular price
you will get another piece of pussy of equal or lesser value for only a penny
try and beat pussy for a penny
if you can find cheaper pussy anywhere,
fuck it!!

I had almost totally forgotten about that... It's been so long since I've seen that movie.

i'd like to be the first to, say hello to my litle friend.

This is not only a quote, but something more, a way of understand women :p

"There's a million fine looking women in the world, dude. But, they don't all bring you lasagna at work. Most of 'em just cheat on you."

Kevin Smith is... GOD!!

get some, get some baby!
get some!

charlie don't surf

Joker: Tell them your name.
Brian Douglas: [nervously] Brian Douglas.
Joker: [giggling] Are you the real Batman?
Brian Douglas: N-no.
Joker: [whining] No? No? Then why do you dress up like him? [playing with the fake mask] Woo hoo hoo hoo! [giggling]
Brian Douglas: He's a symbol that we don't have to be afraid of scum like you.
Joker: Yeah…you do, Brian. You really do. Yeah…
[Brian whimpers in terror]
Joker: Shh shh shh shh. [pets Brian's face] So you think Batman's made Gotham a better place? Hm? Look at me…LOOK AT ME! [turns camera to his face] You see, this is how crazy Batman's made Gotham. You want order in Gotham? Batman must take off his mask and turn himself in. Oh, and every day he doesn't, people will die…starting tonight. I'm a man of my word.
[Joker laughs hysterically as Brian screams]

Kurtz: I've seen horrors…horrors that you've seen. But you have no right to call me a murderer. You have a right to kill me. You have a right to do that…but you have no right to judge me. It's impossible for words to describe what is necessary to those who do not know what horror means. Horror. Horror has a face…and you must make a friend of horror. Horror and moral terror are your friends. If they are not, then they are enemies to be feared. They are truly enemies. I remember when I was with Special Forces. Seems a thousand centuries ago. We went into a camp to inoculate the children. We left the camp after we had inoculated the children for polio, and this old man came running after us, and he was crying. He couldn't see. We went back there, and they had come and hacked off every inoculated arm. There they were in a pile. A pile of little arms. And I remember…I… I…I cried. I wept like some grandmother. I wanted to tear my teeth out. I didn't know what I wanted to do. And I want to remember it. I never want to forget it. I never want to forget. And then I realize…like I was shot…like I was shot with a diamond…a diamond bullet right through my forehead. And I thought: My God…the genius of that. The genius. The will to do that. Perfect, genuine, complete, crystalline, pure. And then I realized they were stronger than we. Because they could stand that these were not monsters. These were men…trained cadres. These men who fought with their hearts, who had families, who had children, who were filled with love…but they had the strength…the strength…to do that. If I had ten divisions of those men, then our troubles here would be over very quickly. You have to have men who are moral…and at the same time who are able to utilize their primordial instincts to kill without feeling…without passion…without judgment…without judgment. Because it's judgment that defeats us.

Johnny: Meryl, marry me!
Meryl: You have got a hell of a sense of timing!
Johnny: So, what do you say?
Meryl: I'd have to say...no!
Johnny: You'd rather stay single? Okay, we don't have to make it official!
Meryl: No.
Johnny: Well, what about we just move in together, then?
Meryl: Nope.
Johnny: Why? Is there something wrong with me?
Meryl: No. I'd just rather do things my way: Johnny, marry me.
Johnny: What?
Meryl: I'll say it again: marry me.
Johnny: Sure, it'd be my pleasure.
Meryl: Hey, and don't even think about cheating on me!
Johnny: I wouldn't dare.
Meryl: And I want a real wedding! With flowers and a cake! It's been my dream since I was little a girl.

:rolleyes: I knew MGS4 was gonna be good...but I didn't see that coming!

Superb quotes. I like them all. :respect:

And neither did I! I LOVE that game... And I'd so do Meryl!

in the original MGS on the ps1 the first time you meet meryl, you climb up a ladder and crawl down a ventelation duct then climb down into the room she's in, if you climb the ladder and crawl down the duct and back five time's when you get into the room meryl has no trousers on, lol hideo kojima is a pervert, and in the new game when your chatting to rosemary on the codec if you shake the sixaxis her breasts jigle.

Heh, in Agent Underfire you could see a somewhat nude girl in a shower if you zoomed in the sniper scope on her.

In Bloodrayne 2, if you use the schoolgirl cheat on Rayne you sometimes get lovely panty shots. Always a good thing yes?

The only game I've seen nudity in though is Conan on PS3, pretty nice boobs on the rescued women.

i can't feel my face. i mean.... i can touch it...... but i can't feel it.

Sir, are you classified as human?
Uh, negative. I am a meat popsicle.

for me its american beauty
"I had always heard your entire life flashes in front of your eyes the second before you die. First of all, that one second isn't a second at all, it stretches on forever, like an ocean of time..."
best one i ever heard

"Why dont you go and sell crazy somewhere else? We are all stocked up here."

Jack Nicholson in As Good As It Gets

"he first hing you learn about emotion is that it has its price, complete paradox. but without restraint, without control, emotion is chaos" resistance leader in equilibrium

"liberate tutame ex inferis" event hoizon

Cooper: Stark? Would you like something hot and black inside you?
[Stark gives him the finger]
Cooper: Oooh! Is that an offer?
Lt. Starck, Executive Officer: [smiles] It is not.
Cooper: Well how about some coffee, then?

"Hey, Don't knock masturbation. It's sex with someone I love"

Woody Allen
Annie Hall

From Shaun Of The Dead

Shaun: Pete? Pete?
Ed: Why don't we just go up?
Shaun: No. No. Wait. No. No! Don't go up there!
Ed: Why not?
Shaun: Because A, he might be one of them, and B, he might still be annoyed. Pete? Maybe he went into work.
Ed: Well, how come he didn't drive? His keys are still here.
Shaun: Well, maybe he got a lift; he said he wasn't feeling very well. Pete?
Ed: OI, PRICK!
Shaun, Ed: (both) He's not in.

From Hot Fuzz

Danny Butterman: Where's the trolley boy?
Nicholas Angel: In the freezer.
Danny Butterman: Did you say "cool off?"
Nicholas Angel: No I didn't say anything...
Danny Butterman: Shame.
Nicholas Angel: Well, there was the bit that you missed where I distracted him with the cuddly monkey then I said "play time's over" and I hit him in the head with the peace lily.
Danny Butterman: You're off the fuckin' chain!

hey Gringo, how much for the weeemon

bajes wee don't need no steenking bajes

What's the difference between a king and his horse?
I don't mean kiddy shit like "One's a person and one's an animal" or "One has two legs and one has four."
If their form, ability and power were exactly the same, why is it one becomes the king and controls the battle, while the other becomes the horse and carries the king?!
There's only one answer. INSTINCT!

-Shirosaki Ichigo, Bleach

that's my 1 favourite quote from the anime series Bleach. I would quote some more of my favourite lines from Full Metal Alchemist, but the whole damn series is just too influential and world changing. truly the greatest story ever told

Kaiser Sozay!!!!!!

Gil Grissom: Mercedes, I presume? We're with the Las Vegas Crime Lab, and we're looking for somebody.
Mercedes: Isn't this where you say my PO would be interested to know that I'm hustling, and you ask for a freebie?
Gil Grissom: I'm actually not interested in your ass, but the person we're looking for is a human butcher who might be.

Calleigh Dueqesne: Do you believe her story?
Horatio Caine: I don't know. I guess that depends on how you like seeing men dress up in your underwear.
Calleigh Dueqesne: Personally, leather chaps. Nothing else. [pauses, looks at Horatio's expression] That was a joke.
Horatio Caine: I know.

Horatio Caine: Nice work. Have you considered a transfer to SWAT?
Calleigh Dueqesne: I don't look good in all-black.
Horatio Caine: I beg to differ.

[a fetus' hand grabs House's finger and he stares at it]
Cuddy: House.
[House looks at Cuddy]
House: Sorry. I just realized I forgot to TiVo Alien.

Yonatan: We'd like a different doctor.
Cuddy: I assure you that Dr. House is our best.
Yonatan: Then we will settle for second-best; someone who doesn't think my wife is sick just because she's religious.
House: If you prefer, I can give your wife my second-best diagnosis.
[Cuddy turns around to look at him expectantly]
House: Do you know Wilson's dating Amber?
Cuddy: I have reviewed the chart—someone on your team must have pointed out that cryoglobularnaemia also fits the symptoms.
House: Yes, it fits many of the symptoms.
Yonatan: My wife's body is sick, her mind and soul are fine.
House: You live according to God's six-hundred commandments, right?
Yonatan: Six-hundred and thirteen.
House: You understand them all?
Yonatan: It takes a lifetime of learning.
House: But you follow the ones you don't understand because the ones you do understand make sense and you believe that the guy who created them knows what he's doing.
Yonatan: Of course.
House: You will trust my diagnosis, you'll let me treat her—because in this temple, I am Dr. Yahweh.

From an episode of Carnivale:

Everything's impossible. Till it ain't.

since i heard this in the departed i've been using it as the moto for my life. it may sound kinda sad but i say it to myself two or three times a day. its quite simple but also completly true
"no one gives it to you, you have to take it."

Here's the end of one of the many back and forths between Robert DeNiro and Charles Grodin in Midhight Run
Jonathan Mardukas: Jack, you're a grown man. You're in control of your own words.
Jack Walsh: You're goddamn right I am. Now here come two words for you: Shut the fuck up!

Not a movie, but from the Sci-Fi original series Tin Man.

It comes along the lines of.. "You know why you're a zero? Because you don't fight your own wars!"

I wouldn't change it, it's pure low budget cheese.

The Vidiot From UHF?

i haven't got a fucking clue what thats suposed to mean?

The Godfather
 

I'm gonna make you an offer you can't refuse:cool:

Well, you gotta have some things from one of the most quotable comedy movies ever, GHOSTBUSTERS...

Ray: I think we'd better split up.
Egon: Good idea.
Venkman: Yeah, we can do more damage that way.


Ray: Everything was fine with our system until the power grid was shut off by dickless here.
Walter Peck: They caused an explosion!
Mayor: Is this true?
Venkman: Yes, it's true. This man has no dick.


Egon: There's something very important I forgot to tell you. Don't cross the streams.
Venkman: Why?
Egon: It would be bad.
Venkman: I'm fuzzy on the whole good/bad thing. What do you mean, "bad"?
Egon: Try to imagine all life as you know it stopping instantaneously and every molecule in your body exploding at the speed of light.
Ray: Total protonic reversal.
Venkman: Right, and that's bad? Okay, important safety tip. Thanks, Egon.


Egon: I have a radical idea. The door swings both ways, we could reverse the polarity flow through the gate.
Venkman: How?
Egon (hesitating): We'll cross the streams.
Venkman: 'Scuse me, Egon? You said crossing the streams was bad!
Ray: Cross the streams...
Venkman: You're gonna endanger us. You're gonna endanger our client -- a nice lady who paid us in advance before she became a dog.


Venkman: This city is headed for a disaster of biblical proportions.
Mayor: What do you mean, "biblical"?
Ray: What he means is Old Testament, Mr. Mayor, real wrath of God type stuff.
Venkman: Exactly.
Ray: Fire and brimstone coming down from the skies! Rivers and seas boiling!
Egon: Forty years of darkness! Earthquakes, volcanoes...
Winston: The dead rising from the grave...
Venkman: Human sacrifice! Dogs and cats living together! Mass hysteria!


And a good tip to remember in life...

Gozer (eyes glowing with evil): Are you a god?
[Ray looks at Peter, who nods]
Ray (sheepishly): Uh, no.
Gozer: THEN DIE!
Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people on the street below scream
Winston: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!!!

Searle: It's invigorating. It's like...taking a shower in light. You lose yourself in it.
Corazon: Like a flotation tank?
Searle: Actually, no. More like...In psych tests on deep space, I ran a number of sensory deprivation trials, tested in total darkness, on flotation tanks—and the point about darkness is, you float in it. You and the darkness are distinct from each other because darkness is an absence of something, it's a vacuum. But total light envelops you. It becomes you. It's very strange...I recommend it.
Mace: What's strange, Searle, is that you're the psych officer on this ship and I'm clearly a lot saner than you are.

Capa: My God...my God. Pinbacker!
Pinbacker: Not your God. Mine!

Pinbacker: At the end of time, a moment will come when just one man remains. Then the moment will pass. Man will be gone. There will be nothing to show that we were ever here...but stardust.

Convenience Store V: Anarchy in the UK!
[fires gun into air]

Rei Ayanami: [to Shinji] You're the jerk who was staring at my panties!
Asuka Langley Soryu: Hey, you were the one who was flashing them!
Rei Ayanami: Why are you defending him? Are you riding his baloney pony?
Asuka Langley Soryu: [sweatdrops] What?! We're just really good childhood friends!

Eve: Name?
WALL-E: WALL-E.
Eve: WALL-E? [giggles] Eve.
WALL-E: [attempting to pronounce it] Eeee...
Eve: Eve.
WALL-E: Eeeee...aah.
Eve: Eve! Eve!
WALL-E: Eeeee...va?
Eve: [giggles]

Eric Draven: Victims...aren't we all?

Funboy: Jesus Christ!
Eric Draven: Jesus Christ? Stop me if you heard this one. Jesus Christ walks into a hotel.
[Funboy shoots him]
Eric Draven: ...Ow. He hands the innkeeper three nails and he says—
[Funboy shoots him again]
Funboy: Don't you ever fuckin' die?
Eric Draven: —"Can you put me up for the night?"

Yours fears; they make you foolish. -- Jewel of the Nile

Holy shit!
I need a vacation! -- Terminator 2

I AM THE THIRD REVELATION! -- There Will Be Blood

You do plan to have dinosaurs on your dinosaur tour, right? -- Jurassic Park

Funny, how? I mean, funny, like I'm a clown? I amuse you? I make you laugh? I'm here to fucking amuse you? -- Goodfellas

What are you looking at, you hockey puk?! -- Toy Story

BLOW UP THE BRIDGE???!!! -- Bridge on the River Kwai

Now you know what I do for an encore! -- King Creole

They're paying for it; you eat it! -- Full Metal Jacket

You broke the bloody ship! -- Galaxy Quest

I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time ... like tears in rain ... Time to die. -- Blade Runner (One of the most stunning passages in any film ever made)

Uhh, wasn't the OP's point to change a famous line in a way that would totally change a movie, like if Darth Vader had been a smartass instead of being dramatic?

I think it would've been cool in Fight Club if Marla would've said, "I want to have your abortion," like in the book instead of, "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school."

It's hard to think of lines like that, though. All the good lines are lines you remember because they're perfect.

This line's so nerdy, but it's really emotional the way it makes you think about beautiful things you'll never experience:

Blade Runner
Rutger Hauer talking to Harrison Ford: I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain. Time to die.



25th Hour
Brian Cox talking to Ed Norton: Every man, woman and child should see the desert one time before they die. Nothing at all for miles around. Nothing but sand and rocks and cactus and blue sky. Not a soul in sight. No sirens, car alarms. Nobody honkin' at ya. No madman cursin' or pissin' on the streets. You find the silence out there. You find the peace. You can find God.



Mallrats
Ben Affleck fucking a 15-year-old girl in the ass: Who's your favorite New Kid? Call me Joey. Oh yeah. Don't make me get loose. Yeah. Call me Donnie. Come on. Oh, girl. Yeah, please don't go.



The Shawshank Redemption
gay rapist: Where do you get this shit?
Tim Robbins: I read it. You know how to read, you ignorant fuck?



Heat
Al Pacino: She's got a great ass! And you got your head all the way up it!



Seven
Guy telling police about killing a girl with a bladed strap-on: Oh, Christ! He made me wear it ... and ... and he told me to fuck her! He had the gun in my mouth. The gun was in my throat!



Demolition Man
Sandra Bullock: Let's go blow this guy.
Stallone: Away! Blow this guy away!
Sandra Bullock: Whatever.



Mr Mom
Michael Keaton: You want a beer?
Martin Mull: It's 7:00 in the morning.
Michael Keaton: Scotch?



Fight Club
Ed Norton talking about Meat Loaf's man-boobs: That was where I fit... between those huge sweating tits that hung enormous, the way you'd think of God's as big.



Chasing Amy
Jason Lee showing horse porn to a little kid: And then Black Beauty couldn't take it any longer, and he finally did some of his own mounting.



Blazing Saddles
Harvey Korman: Qualifications?
applicant: Rape, murder, arson and rape.
Harvey Korman: You said rape twice.
applicant: I like rape.
Harvey Korman: Charming. Sign right here.



Passenger 57
Wesley Snipes: You ever play roulette?
bad guy: On occasion.
Wesley Snipes: Well, let me give you a word of advice. Always bet on black!



American Movie
Mike: One day I was partying in my basement and I always used to get, like, pissed off inside cause I would wanna party really heavy and no one else would, ya know? And then all a sudden Mark came over and, uh, either I had a bottle of vodka or he had a bottle of vodka, but anyway we were drinkin' vodka and I was so happy that I found someone who would drink vodka with me, you know? So, um and then, Mark would drink vodka with me all the time. We'd uh, you know, I'd go over there all the time and we'd buy a fifth of vodka and we'd share it, you know, and uh, that really made me happy.



American Beauty
boss reading Kevin Spacey's job description: My job consists of basically masking my contempt for the assholes in charge and at least once a day retiring to the men's room so I can jerk off while I fantasize about a life that doesn't so closely resemble hell.



The Silence of the Lambs
Jodie Foster: Hi.
Miggs: I can smell your cunt!



Zardoz
Zardoz: The gun is good. The penis is evil. The penis shoots seeds and makes new life to poison the earth with a plague of men as once it was, but the gun shoots death and purifies the earth of the filth of brutals. Go forth and kill.



Death Wish
Jeff Goldblum (raping daughter): I'm gonna stab you in the ass.
mother: Leave her alone!
Jeff Goldblum: Goddamn rich cunt! I kill rich cunts!



A Clockwork Orange
Alex: What you got back home, little sister, to play your fuzzy warbles on?



That is one of my favorite lines ever. I guess it's not that funny, but it took me totally off guard the first time I saw Fifth Element.



I assume you know your quote, "Badges? We don't need no stinking badges!" was from The Treasure of the Seirra Madre. There's a movie called UHF that has several parody scenes, one of which has a Mexican guy who hosts a TV show about animals. A guy drops off a bunch of badgers, and the Mexican says, "Badgers? We don't need no stinking badgers!"

Cool thread :)

[Dr. Johnson, laurel wreath in hand, greets new sheriff Bart by reading his prepared remarks, not realizing that Bart is black]
Howard Johnson: As chairman of the welcoming committee, it's a pleasure to present a laurel and hearty handshake to our new...
[finally looks up]
Howard Johnson: ...nigger!

[after meeting black pioneers]
Indian Chief: Oy vey. They're darker than we are.

Martin Luther King: Is this it? This is what I got all those ass-whoopings for? I had a dream once. It was a dream that little black boys and little black girls would drink from the river of prosperity, freed from the thirst of oppression. But lo and behold, some four decades later, what have I found but a bunch of trifling, shiftless, good-for-nothing niggers? And I know some of you don't want to hear me say that word. It's the ugliest word in the English language, but that's what I see now: niggers. And you don't want to be a nigger, 'cause niggers are living contradictions! Niggers are full of unfulfilled ambitions! Niggers wax and wane, niggers love to complain! Niggers love to hear themselves talk but hate to explain! Niggers love being another man's judge and jury! Niggers procrastinate until it's time to worry! Niggers love to be late, niggers hate to hurry! Black Entertainment Television is the worst thing I've ever seen in my life! Usher, Michael Jackson is not a genre of music! And now I'd like to talk about Soul Plane. I've seen what's around the corner, I've seen what's over the horizon, and I promise you, you niggers have nothing to celebrate. And no, I won't get there with you. I'm going to Canada. (That was from The Boondocks, if anyone was wondering.)

Alpa Chino: It's complicated.
Kirk Lazarus: Nah! It's simple as pie, man. You plant your feet on the ground, you look her square in the eyes, you say "Hey baby, you and me's goin' on a date, that's in the story..." What's her name?
Alpa Chino: ...Lance.
Kirk Lazarus: You say "Listen here, Lance—" Lance? What the fuck did I just hear? Lance?
Kevin Sandusky: Did you just say "Lance?"
Alpa Chino: No! No, I didn't say "Lance." I said "Nance."
Kevin Sandusky: It sounded a lot like "Lance."
Alpa Chino: Dammit, I'm Alpa Chino! "I Love Tha Pussy," a'ight? Lay your ass back down and look at the stars!
Kirk Lazarus: When you wrote "I Love Tha Pussy," was you thinking about danglin' your dice on Lance's forehead?

Kirk Lazarus: Can I tell you that I'm sorry for any offense I might've caused, man? I guess I just got caught up in—
Alpa Chino: In being a dumbass.
Kirk Lazarus: I guess so.
Alpa Chino: Why you're still doing this Chicken George shit, I have no idea.
Kirk Lazarus: Neither do I.
Alpa Chino: It's beyond me.
Kirk Lazarus: It's beyond me.
Alpa Chino: You're confused.
Kirk Lazarus: I am a little confused.
Alpa Chino: I know.
Kirk Lazarus: ...But are we cool?
Alpa Chino: Not really.

This one's been in my head for the last few days.

Josey Wales: When I get to likin' someone, they ain't around long.
Lone Watie: I notice when you get to DISlikin' someone they ain't around for long neither.

I have 2 that come to mind:
1) Jack Nicholson in Bucket List
You live, you die and the wheels on the the bus go round and round.
2) He disappeared!, Like a fart in the wind!
Irish:innocent:

Movie Quotes
 

I loved the quotes in Racquel's post (1-09-2009)! And so many of the others as well.

A few of mine...off the top of my head...

From Ghostbusters:
Zool: "Are you a God!?"
Ray: "No"
Zool: "Then die!"

From Alien:
Ash: "We don't know anything about.........it"
(A subtle reference to the inspiration for "Alien", the 50's sci-fi flick "It!, The Terror From Beyond Space")

From Judge Dredd:
Dredd: "I am the Law"

Off the top of my head...

1, Dr: Strangelove: "Mein Fuhrer, I can Walk!"
2. The Thing:(remake) " I don't know what it is, but its weird, and its pissed off!
3. Young Frankenstein: "What Knockers!" and "Blooocher!"
4. Monty Python: "Bring out your dead!
5. To Have and To Have Not:(Lauren Bacall) "You Know how to whistle don't you Steve?"
6. The Wizard of Oz: "I don't think we're in Kansas anymore Toto"
7. Clerks: "I'm not even supposed to be here!"
8. Up in Smoke: (Strother Martin) "When boy when, are you going to straighten up?"
9. The Man with two brains: "Into the mud scum queen!"
10. Spinal Tap: "This one goes to eleven"
11. The Shining" "Here's Johnny!"
12. Jaws: "We're Gonna need a bigger boat!"
13. Poltergeist : "They're Back..."
14. History of the World: (French Revolution) "Don't Get Saucy With Me Bernaise!"

Ghostbusters Quote
 

I screwed up on the "Ghostbusters Quote". CreativeMind has it correctly! Here is the exact wordage....

Gozer (eyes glowing with evil): Are you a god?
[Ray looks at Peter, who nods]
Ray (sheepishly): Uh, no.
Gozer: THEN DIE!
Lightning flies from her fingers, driving the Ghostbusters to the edge of the roof and almost off; people on the street below scream
Winston: Ray, when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "YES"!!!

I love that one.

"Piss on you, I work for Mel Brooks." Blazing Saddles
"Do not worry little brother, there are more." 13th Warrior
"We're going to attack tonight. We're going to attack all night. We're going to break through. If we can't, then let no man come back alive." Patton
"What we do in life, echoes in eternity." Gladiator
"Surely you can't be serious. I am serious and don't call me Shirley." Airplane!

Nice. Nice. Not thrilling, but nice.

Great quotations! :D

Oh yeah, don't know why my list has frowns in it. I must have been sleepy.:yes:
I'll be back.

ALIEN quotes
 

Brett: "Here, kitty! Here, kitty, kitty! Well, kitty crap. Jones! Jonesy? Here, Jonesy. Meow. Meow. Jonesy? Here, kitty, kitty, kitty. Meow. Here, Jonesy. Jonesy?"
Jones: "Meeeeooowww"
Brett: "Here, kitty, kitty, kitty."
Jones: "Meeeeooowww"
Brett: "Kitty, kitty, kitty." Here Jonesy. Jonesy. Kitty, Kitty. Jonesy? Hey...Hey. Come on, Jonesy. Come on baby. That's a kitty That's a kitty. Come on, baby. That's a kitty."
Jones: "Hisses"
Brett: "Hey, hey. I'm not gonna hurt you. Come on."
Jones: "Snarling"
Brett: "Ooowww...uhhhhh....oooowww"


Ash: "You still don't understand what you're dealing with, do you? A perfect organism. It's structural perfection is matched only by its hostility."
Lambert: "You admire it."
Ash: "I admire it's purity. A survivor...unclouded by conscience, remorse or delusions of morality."

No fate but what we make.

Had to add a few more...
 

Blazing Saddles-(the whole movie is quotable!) "You talk prettier than a three dollar whore!

Dracula- "Listen...the children of the night..what beautiful music they make"

Ed Wood - Q: "Do you accept Jesus Christ into your life as Lord and Savior?"
A: "Sure"

Fridays- "Because its Friday, you aint got no job, and you ain't got shit to do!"
Monty Python's Holy Grail- (another thats infinitely quotable) "Tis but a scratch!"
To Kill a Mockingbird- "Jean Louise, stand up! Your father is passing"

White Heat- (Cagney)- "Top of the World Ma!!!"

Movie Quotes
 

Dr. Strangelove:
"There's no fighting in here, this is the war room!"

The Horse Soldiers:
"Which do you prefer, Major, the leg or the breast?"

King Kong (1933)
"It wasn't the planes that got him...'twas beauty that killed the beast"

Perhaps You Had to Be There.....
 

From History of the World:

Mel Brooks, as Moses, is returning from Mt Sinai. With considerable difficulty he is carrying three large tablets of stone. In a loud voice he begins to address the people:

I've got these fif.....

Suddenly he drops one of the tablets, mutters Oh shit and continues:

I've got these TEN Commandments......

Hi there.

I'd like to put out some star trek quotes tell me which episode they are from, or something relevant to that episode.

1-Mc Coy: He's dead Jim!
Who is dead?

2-Pain, Pain, Pain. NO KILL I

3-The givers of pain and delight.
Who are they?

JohnDowe.

I BET U CAN SQUEEL LIKE A PIG!!! SQUEEL WIIIIII, WIIIIIIIIIIIIII:lol:

"You smash the entire area! Kill anything that has more than two legs! So you get me?"

"This is for you new people. I've got one rule: everyone fights, no one quits. If you don't do your job, I'll shoot you myself." Starship Troopers

yup
 

I still remember what a shocker that scene in Deliverance was to a lot of people at the time.

Predator
 

Major Dutch-"Get to dee choppah NAUGGHHH!!!"

Didn't you say you say:

Another from Predator:
Poncho: You're bleeding, man. You're hit.
Blain (Jesse Ventura the wrestler): I ain't got time to bleed.
Poncho: [Confused] Oh... Okay...
Poncho: [Poncho shoots a bunch of grenades up to the top of the cliff] You got time to duck?

Beatrice Kiddo:
We have unfinished business!

in Kill Bill.

Arnold was a bodybuilder. Jesse Ventura, while being a wrestler, is off the hook in this case, as he provided us with the knowledge that chewing tobacco will turn you into a "sexual Tyrannosaurus".

Clint's lines
 

It seems to me that Clint Eastwood has had some of the best lines ever.

"........make my day." ("Sudden Impact") is instantly recognizable as Clint.

"You've got to ask yourself one question: Do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?" ("Dirty Harry")

"We all got it comin', kid." ("Unforgiven")

"Are you gonna pull those pistols or whistle Dixie?" ("The Outlaw Josy Wales")

"Everybody's got a right to be a sucker once." ("Two Mules For Sister Sara")

"If you're waiting for a woman to make up her mind, you may have a long wait." ("Pale Rider")

"In this world there's two kinds of people, my friend. Those with loaded guns, and those who dig. You dig." ("TGTB&TU")


And then there is Gunny's (Clint) comeback to the cop in Heartbreak Ridge.

COP: You're going to pay every dollar of that fine. I don't give no service man's discount!

GUNNY: Too bad, your old lady does.


That is just as good as the old fight starter - Do you have any pictures of your wife naked?........Do ya wanna buy some?

Has that ever been used in a movie?

Enter the Dragon

Bruce Lee: Don't think. FEEL. It is like a finger pointing away to the moon. Do not concentrate on the finger or you will miss all that heavenly glory.

Hi there.

Chenge the world? NO.

But in almost every terminator movie there is this quote:

"Come with me if you wanna live"

And in most ot the Star Wars movies and some of the games this quote comes often:

"I have a bad feeling about this"

RoboCop also had a quote that came up aften, but always from the same guy:

"I'd buy that for a dollar"

JohnDowe.

Hi there.

That is just as good as the old fight starter - Do you have any pictures of your wife naked?........Do ya wanna buy some?

Has that ever been used in a movie?

Yes it has, but it was g/f in a war movie, unfortunately don't remember which, i think it was with Charles Bronson, but not sure.

Wish i could be of more help.

JohnDowe.

One Simpsons quote here:

"How many gazebos do you shemales need? :p

usual suspects:

Fenster: Hand me the fucking keys, you cocksucker, what the fuck?

jay and silent bob strike back (really there are too many to quote):

jay: yo baby you ever had your asshole licked by a fat man in an over coat!?! yeaaaaaaa

"Dead or alive, you're comming with me." Robocop

Great choice for a thread. When I have more time I'll have to pass along some of my favorites.

Hi there.

How about if Ike and the terminator switched lines:

Treminator: I shall return!

Ike: I'll be back!

Some how it wouldn't work...

John Dowe.

Full Metal Jacket
 

GySgt. Hartman: Bullshit!!! You look like the kind of guy who would fuck a person in the ass and not even have the goddamn common courtesy to give him a reach around!

Johnny Rico: Kill them! Kill them all!

Harry Callahan: I know what you're thinking, punk. You're thinking, "Did he fire six shots, or only five?" Now, to tell you the truth, I forgot myself in all this excitement. But being this is a .44 Magnum, the most powerful handgun in the world and will blow your head clean off, you've gotta ask yourself a question: "Do I feel lucky?" Well, do ya, punk?

[Brother 6 has just pulled an RPG out of his backpack]
Ninja Ninja: Is that an RPG? You got a motherfuckin' RPG? An RPG in a motherfuckin' backpack?

Emmett Bregman: You know, I, uh...I once did a piece on this war photographer. His name was Martin Kristofski. For about six months, he was with a unit in Vietnam. And the day before he was scheduled to leave-the day before, he's out with the unit. And it was just a routine patrol, or so they thought. But suddenly, a lieutenant pulled him down. And Kristofski-he hadn't intended to take a picture at that moment, but his hands were on the camera and he hit the ground so hard that it just went off. And the picture captured the lieutenant getting shot in the head. And Kristofski said to me, he said, "Well, that, that bullet would've hit me. Should've hit me." And he never showed that picture to anyone, not for twenty-five years. But twenty-five years later, he got up one morning, and he looked at that picture, and he saw something that wasn't horrific, and he decided to tell the story, because he realized that he hadn't accidentally taken a picture of a man dying. It was of a man saving his life.

Yurek: [ducking behind a car after being shot at by Nelson] Rangers?
Twombly: Ho!
Yurek: It's Yurek, you fucking assholes!
Nelson: Fuck!
Twombly: We almost fucking killed you! Well, come to us!
Yurek: Fuck you! Come to me!

Demon: Stick your cock up her ass, you motherfucking worthless cocksucker.

Sarah: Sometimes I think the best view of God is from Hell.

"...that's Chinatown, Jake."

Use it anytime/anywhere!

1 of my fav passtimes,,,
 

,,,,,quoting famous movie lines,,,,,
' Hey,, I'm walkin' here,,'
' Lunch is for whimps,,,'
' Do you pick your toes in Poughkeepsie ?,,,'
' I'l make him an offer he can't refuse,,,'
' I ain't got time to bleed,,,,'
' Plastics my boy,, plastics,,,'
' We're on a mission from God,,,'
and of course,, 'We're from France,,,,']

Some more Full Metal Jacket
 

GySgt Hartman: It looks to me like the best part of you ran down the crack of your momma's ass and ended up as a brown stain on the mattress! I think you've been cheated!

More Full Metal Jacket
 

Private Joker: Are those... live rounds?
Private Gomer Pyle: Seven-six-two millimeter. Full. Metal. Jacket.

----

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: How tall are you, private?
Private Cowboy: Sir, five-foot-nine, Sir.
Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: Five-foot-nine, I didn't know they stacked shit that high.

----

Gunnery Sergeant Hartman: What is your major malfunction, numbnuts? Didn't Mommy and Daddy show you enough attention when you were a child?

Even more Full Metal Jacket
 

GySgt Hartman: Did your parent's have any children that survived?

Pvt. Lawrence(Gomer Pyle): Sir yes sir!

GySgt Hartman: I'll bet they regret that! You're so ugly, you could be a modern art masterpiece!


.................................................. .................................................. ...................................

GySgt Hartman: You look like you could suck a golfball through a gardenhose!

Dirty Harry in Sudden Impact
 

The Dirty Harry movies have some of the best one-liners.

Captain Briggs: Don't you lecture me, you son of a bitch! Do you know who I am? Do you know my record?
Harry Callahan: Yeah... you're a legend in your own mind.

:lol::lol::lol:

Monsters vs. Aliens
 

President Colbert: "Boys, set the terror level at Code Brown cause I need to change my pants!"

Galaxhar via hologram:"Humans of Earth, I have come in peace, and I mean you no harm....however, most of you will not survive the next 24 hours. The survivors will be enslaved and experimented on. You should in no way take any of this personally, it's just business. So, to recap: I come in peace, I mean you no harm...and you all will die!"

Magnum Force, another Dirty Harry quote
 

Dirty Harry busting Lt. Briggs chops in Magnum Force.

Harry Callahan: Well, I just work for the city, Briggs!
Lieutenant Briggs: So do I, longer than you, and I never had to take my gun out of its holster once. I'm proud of that.
Harry Callahan: Well, you're a good man, lieutenant. A good man always knows his limitations...

One of my favorite Eastwood quotes
 

Good one interal!

Here's another:

"It's what people know about themselves inside that makes them afraid." -- Clint Eastwood "High Plains Drifter" :cool:

And a more recent one
 

"Ever notice how you come across somebody once in a while you shouldn't have fucked with? That's me." -- Clint Eastwood "Gran Torino" ;)

Sylvester Stallone: sick minded people need to be cured and i am the cure!...

Roddy Piper in they live: i have come here to chew bubble gum and kick ass...
and i am all out of bubble gum!.

Arnold Schwarzenegger: i'll be back!.

Connor: Now you will receive us.
Murphy: We do not ask for your poor, or your hungry.
Connor: We do not want your tired and sick.
Murphy: It is your corrupt we claim.
Connor: It is your evil that will be sought by us.
Murphy: With every breath, we shall hunt them down.
Connor: Each day, we will spill their blood 'til it rains down from the skies.
Murphy: "Do not kill." "Do not rape." "Do not steal." These are principles which every man of every faith can embrace.
Connor: These are not polite suggestions. These are codes of behavior, and those of you that ignore them will pay the dearest cost.
Murphy: There are varying degrees of evil. We urge you lesser forms of filth not to push the bounds and cross over into true corruption, into our domain.
Connor: For if you do, one day you will look behind you and you will see we three, and on that day you will reap it.
Murphy: And we will send you to whatever god you wish.

Monsignor: And I am reminded on this holy day of the sad story of Kitty Genovese. As you all may remember, long time ago—almost thirty years ago—this poor soul cried out for help time and time again, but no person answered their calls. Though many saw, no one so much as called the police. They all just watched as Kitty was being stabbed to death in broad daylight. They watched as her assailant walked away. Now, we must all fear evil men. But, there is another kind of evil which we must all fear most—and that is the indifference of good men!
Connor: [as the brothers exit the church] I do believe the monsignor's finally got the point.
Murphy: Aye.

[after dropping through the ceiling on a rope and killing nine mobsters]
Connor: Well, "Name one thing you're gonna need this stupid fucking rope for."
Murphy: That was way easier than I thought.
Connor: Aye.
Murphy: You know, on TV you always got that guy that jumps over the sofa.
Connor: And then you gotta shoot at him for ten fucking minutes, too.
Murphy: Aye.
Connor: Christ.
Murphy: We're good.
Connor: Yes, we are.

Rocco: Fuckin'—what the fuckin' fuck?! Who the fuck fucked this fucking—? How did you two fucking fucks—?! FUCK!
Connor: Well, that certainly illustrates the diversity of the word.

Cool Hand Luke (1967)
 

One of my favourite films.

:cool: The build up to boiled eggs eating scene:

Luke: I can eat fifty eggs.
Dragline: Nobody can eat fifty eggs.
Society Red: You just said he could eat anything.
Dragline: Did you ever eat fifty eggs?
Luke: Nobody ever eat fifty eggs.
Prisoner: Hey, Babalugats. We got a bet here.
Dragline: My boy says he can eat fifty eggs, he can eat fifty eggs.
Loudmouth Steve: Yeah, but in how long?
Luke: A hour.
Society Red: Well, I believe I'll take part of that wager.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

Dragline: Why you got to go and say fifty eggs for? Why not thirty-five or thirty-nine?
Luke: I thought it was a nice round number.

:cool::lol:

Rocky 4 " if he dies, he dies"
Predator " Get to da chopper"
batman " I am batman"
the shining "eres johnny"
superman " is it a bird, is it a plane"
aliens " Where's Apone? Where's Apone? , The Sarge is gone! Let's get the fuck outta here! " "We'd better get back, 'cause it'll be dark soon, and they mostly come at night... mostly"
Robocop "dead or alive you comming with me" "My friends call me murphy but you can call me robocop"
Terminator "I'll be back"

Rorschach: [reading from journal] Rorschach's Journal. October 12th, 1985: Dog carcass in alley this morning, tire tread on burst stomach. This city is afraid of me. I have seen its true face. The streets are extended gutters and the gutters are full of blood and when the drains finally scab over, all the vermin will drown. The accumulated filth of all their sex and murder will foam up about their waists and all the whores and politicians will look up and shout, "Save us!"...and I'll whisper, "No."

[Rorschach comes across a copy of Jon standing in the snow]
Rorschach: Out of my way. People have to be told.
Jon Osterman: You know I can't let you do that.
Rorschach: Suddenly you discover humanity. Convenient. [takes off his mask] If you'd cared from the start, none of this would've happened.
Jon Osterman: I can change almost anything...but I can't change human nature.
Rorschach: Of course. You must protect Veidt's new utopia. What's one more body amongst foundations? [chokes up] Well, what are you waiting for? Do it.
[Jon hesitates]
Rorschach: DO IT!
[Jon makes Rorschach explode into a puddle of blood]

Eddie Jessup: Emily's quite content to go on with this life. She insists she's in love with me—whatever that is. What she means is she prefers the senseless pain we inflict on each other to the pain we would otherwise inflict on ourselves. But I'm not afraid of that solitary pain. In fact, if I don't strip myself of all this clatter and clutter and ridiculous ritual, I shall go out of my fucking mind. Does that answer your question, Arthur?
Arthur Rosenberg: What question was that?
Eddie Jessup: You asked me why I was getting divorced.
Arthur Rosenberg: Oh, listen, it's your life. I'm sorry I even asked.

Pamela Landy: What is Operation Blackbriar? You want to tell me, or should I call Kramer and ask him?
Noah Vosen: For Christ's sake, Pam, we're in the middle of an operation.
Pamela Landy: Bullshit. You want Jason Bourne? Level with me.
Noah Vosen: Operation Blackbriar started as an NEAT surveillance program.
Pamela Landy: What is it now?
Noah Vosen: It is now the umbrella program for all our black ops. Full envelope intrusion, rendition, experimental interrogation—it is all run out of this office. We are the sharp end of the stick now, Pam.
Pamela Landy: Lethal action?
Noah Vosen: If we have to, sure. That's what makes us special. No more red tape. No more getting the bad guys caught on our sights, then watching them escape while we wait for somebody in Washington to issue the order. [sees Landy's disapproving look] Oh, come on. You've seen the raw intel, Pam. You know how real the danger is. We need these programs now.

Jason Bourne: I remember. I remember everything. I'm no longer Jason Bourne.
Dr. Albert Hirsch: So now you're going to kill me.
Jason Bourne: No. You don't deserve the star they give you on the wall at Langley.

"Such a fine line between stupid and clever."
Nigel Tuffnell, This is Spinal Tap

There is no situation in life where a line from Spinal Tap could not be quoted.

You need people like, so you can point your fingers at. :cool:

Goodfellas
Funny How?

Henry Hill: You're a pistol, you're really funny. You're really funny.
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean I'm funny?
Henry Hill: It's funny, you know. It's a good story, it's funny, you're a funny guy.
[laughs]
Tommy DeVito: What do you mean, you mean the way I talk? What?
Henry Hill: It's just, you know. You're just funny, it's... funny, the way you tell the story and everything.
Tommy DeVito: [it becomes quiet] Funny how? What's funny about it?
Anthony Stabile: Tommy no, You got it all wrong.
Tommy DeVito: Oh, oh, Anthony. He's a big boy, he knows what he said. What did ya say? Funny how?
Henry Hill: Jus...
Tommy DeVito: What?
Henry Hill: Just... ya know... you're funny.
Tommy DeVito: You mean, let me understand this cause, ya know maybe it's me, I'm a little fucked up maybe, but I'm funny how, I mean funny like I'm a clown, I amuse you? I make you laugh, I'm here to fuckin' amuse you? What do you mean funny, funny how? How am I funny?
Henry Hill: Just... you know, how you tell the story, what?
Tommy DeVito: No, no, I don't know, you said it. How do I know? You said I'm funny. How the fuck am I funny, what the fuck is so funny about me? Tell me, tell me what's funny!
Henry Hill: [long pause] Get the fuck out of here, Tommy!
Tommy DeVito: [everyone laughs] Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.

Back to the Future 3

Marty McFly: Hey, Doc! Where you goin' now? Back to the future?
Doc: Nope. Already been there.

Paycheck: "Some of the best things in life are total mistakes."

And...
 

Beowulf: The time of heroes is dead: the Christ god has killed it, leaving nothing but weeping martyrs and fear and shame.

It's a movie (aka UHF). I was wondering if the quote you used was from the movie as I seem to recall hearing it during the film.

You know you look like your head got stuck in a cheese dip back in 1957!!

Roddy piper ( they Live )

Alan Garner: [while picking up Phil at the school where he works] Did you have to park so close?
Doug Billings: Yeah, what's wrong?
Alan Garner: I shouldn't be here.
Doug Billings: Why is that, Alan?
Alan Garner: I'm not supposed to be within two-hundred feet of a school...or a Chuck E. Cheese.

Phil Wenneck: [yelling at Stu from outside] Paging Dr. Faggot! Dr. Faggot!

Stu Price: Here's something I would like to remind you two of?our best friend Doug is probably facedown in a ditch right now with a methhead buttfucking his corpse!
Alan Garner: That's highly unlikely.

Captain Phineas J. Tucker: Gentlemen, I have a very simple policy?what you shove up your ass is your own business.

Chuck Levine: Oh my God, it's Homopalooza!

Bridget: Hey, are you done imitating me? I wonder...wait! Did you copy my body too?...Aw, man.

A soon to be classic,,,
 

I just saw Hangover today,,, and truly LMAO,,,,great script,,, countless memorable lines.. I rented it on a whim and I'm way glad I did.... 2 seriously thumbs up ,,,oh yeaaa

You failed because you stopped trying... and your only fear is failure itself!.

author unknown.

Ferris: I'm so disappointed in Cameron! Twenty bucks says he's in his car right now debating on whether or not to go out.
[Cameron's in his car]
Cameron: He'll keep calling me. He'll keep calling me until I come over. He'll make me feel guilty. This is, uh...this is ridiculous. Okay. I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go, I'll go. What—I'll go. Shit!
[turns the engine on, then turns it off and hits the passenger seat]
Cameron: God damn it!
[turns the car on and revs it up]
Cameron: Aaaaahh! Shit!
[gets out of the car]
Cameron: That's it!
[paces behind the car and jumps up and down in frustration]

Sloane: What are we going to do?
Ferris: The question isn't "What are we going to do," the question is "What aren't we going to do?"
Cameron: Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home. Please don't say were not going to take the car home.
Ferris: [to the camera] If you had access to a car like this, would you take it back right away?
[beat]
Ferris: Neither would I.

[the guys just notice the additional mileage on the car]
Ferris: [to the audience] Here's where Cameron goes berserk.
Cameron: AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!
[Cameron's scream can be heard all across Chicago]

Atton Rand: I did what I did with all Jedi. I hurt her. I hurt her a lot. And then, right when I thought she couldn't take anymore—she showed me the Force. In my head. And I felt everything she felt, and I heard just an echo of what the Force was. And how what I was doing...I think I loved her, but it wasn't that kind of love. It was the kind of love where you're willing to give up everything for someone you don't even know. I killed her for crawling in my head, for showing me that. But before she opened her mind to mine, my only thought was that I would love to kill her. In the end, she sacrificed herself to keep my secret, to prevent the Sith from knowing about that touch of the Force inside me. She wasted her life to save me. Me.

Canderous Ordo: Hiding in the homes of civilians. Using families as shields. Thinking we would not use appropriate force on their bases inside major cities. They underestimated our resolve and what measures are acceptable in war. Those who cannot defend themselves should not be around those who can in battle. If annihilating a city is the kind of power it takes to overwhelm a Republic shield device, then that's what we did. Necessary force to destroy all opposition.

Lt. Aldo Raine: [drawing a map] Up the road apiece, there's a orchard. Now, besides you, we know there's another Kraut patrol fuckin' here somewhere. Now if that patrol were to have any crackshots, that orchard would be a goddamn sniper's delight. Now if you ever want to eat a sauerkraut sandwich again, you gotta show me on this map where they are, you gotta tell me how many there are, and you gotta tell me what kinda artillery they're carrying with 'em.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: You can't expect me to divulge information that would put German lives in danger?
Lt. Aldo Raine: Well, Werner, that's where you're wrong, because that's exactly what I expect. I need to know about Germans hiding in them trees, and you need to tell me. And you need to tell me right now. Now take your finger and point out on this map where this party's being held, how many's coming, and what they brought to play with.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I respectfully refuse.
[a smack is heard offscreen]
Lt. Aldo Raine: Hear that? That's Sgt. Donny Donowitz. But you might know him better by his nickname—the "Bear Jew." Now, if you heard of Aldo the Apache, you gotta have heard of the Bear Jew.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: I have heard of the Bear Jew.
Lt. Aldo Raine: What did you hear about him, Werner?
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: He beats German soldiers with a club.
Lt. Aldo Raine: He bashes their brains in with a baseball bat is what he does. Now, Werner, I'm gonna ask you one more goddamn time, and if you still "respectfully refuse," I'm callin' the Bear Jew over here, and he's gonna take that big-ole bat of his, and he's gonna beat you to death with it. Now take your wiener-schnitzel-lickin' finger and point out on this map what I want to know.
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: Fuck you.
[pause]
Sgt. Werner Rachtman: And your Jew dogs!
[the Basterds all laugh]
Lt. Aldo Raine: Actually, Werner, we're all tickled to here you say that. Frankly, watchin' Donny beat Nazis to death is is the closest we ever get to goin' to the movies. DONNY!
Sgt. Donny Donowitz: [from offscreen] Yeah?
Lt. Aldo Raine: We got a German here who wants to die for his country! Oblige him!

Adolf Hitler: Nein, nein, nein, nein, nein, nein! How much more of these Jew swine must I endure? They butcher my men like they were fish bait! I have heard the rumors myself! Soldiers of the Third Reich, who have brought the world to its knees, now pecking and clucking like chickens. Do you know the latest rumor they've conjured up in their fear-induced delirium? The one that beats my boys with a bat—the one they call the "Bear Jew"—is a golem!
General Frank: Mein Fuhrer, that is just soldier's gossip. No one really believes that the Bear Jew is a golem.

Sgt. Hugo Stiglitz: Say auf Wiedersehen to your Nazi balls.

Col. Mathieu: The word "torture" doesn't appear in our orders. We've always spoken of interrogation as the only valid method in a police operation directed against unknown enemies. As for the NLF, they request that their members, in the event of capture, should maintain silence for twenty-four hours, and then they may talk. So the organization has already had the time it needs to render any information useless. What type of interrogation should we choose—the one the courts use for a murder case, that drags on for months?

Col. Mathieu: We aren't madmen or sadists, gentlemen. Those who call us Fascists today forget the contribution that many of us made to the Resistance. Those who call us Nazis don't know that among us there are survivors of Dachau and Buchenwald. We are soldiers and our only duty is to win.

Bozz: Courage is when you're the only guy who knows how shit-scared you really are.

Bozz: Just because you wear those sergeant's stripes don't mean you ain't gonna die.

Tallahassee: [searching for Twinkies] Where are you, you spongy, yellow, delicious bastards?

Tallahassee: [upon finding a Hummer filled with rifles] Thank God for rednecks!

Alfred Pennyworth: A long time ago, I was in Burma. My friends and I were working for the local government. They were trying to buy the loyalty of tribal leaders by bribing them with precious stones. But their caravans were being raided in a forest north of Rangoon by a bandit. So we went looking for the stones. But in six months, we never met anyone who had traded with him. One day I saw a child playing with a ruby the size of a tangerine. The bandit had been throwing the stones away.
Bruce Wayne: So why steal them?
Alfred Pennyworth: Well, because he thought it was good sport. Because some men aren't looking for anything logical, like money. They can't be bought, bullied, reasoned or negotiated with. Some men just want to watch the world burn.

Bruce Wayne: The bandit, in the forest in Burma, did you catch him?
Alfred Pennyworth: Yes.
Bruce Wayne: How?
Alfred Pennyworth: We burned the forest down.

[James has been caught returning to his FOB after sneaking out]
Guard at Liberty Gate: What were you doing out there?
Staff Sergeant William James: Visiting a whorehouse.
Guard at Liberty Gate: Okay. If I let you back in, will you tell me where it is exactly?

Contractor Team Leader: [after shooting the runaway prisoners] I forgot—five-hundred thousand dead or alive!