Agreed, but seems like it's a small number that ask (only takes one to start a thread, right?) and exponentially more that reply ... mostly with something to the effect of "it doesn't matter", "not that simple," etc. The reason it's asked probably does have something to do with internalized homophobia ... but maybe also with a fear of ambiguity, with a lack of comfort with with what can't yet be named...

I can relate to this, it seems that is what transsexual is all about. I signed on to this site because I like looking at transsexuals and fantasizing about sex with them. It seems that trying to intellectualize this lust is going to be futile, for me anyway.

Dear Bionca:respect:
love yourself:hug:
eat lots of blueberries
wear sexy clothes;)
you will be fine :yes:

an "assignment"
 

Bionca writes that there must be some reason why this so often asked. She continues, "I think probably the answer to 'why are you asking' may reveal quite a bit of information.

javabox adds: "The reason it's asked probably does have something to do with internalized homophobia ... but maybe also with a fear of ambiguity, with a lack of comfort with with what can't yet be named ..."

Here's an idea. I once saw a website that was geared toward men who wanted to be "sissified" and that had a big forum where they could get "assignments" from "mistresses" to help them along the way. How about an assignment for all of those who can admit to a fear of ambiguity or who are uncomfortable with what can't yet be named or, most important, who can admit to themselves that they are homophobic of themselves?

Start with a friend you trust, and 'fess up. State unequivocally: "I am attracted to transgendered women [or men]."

Just do it, and don't take any shit for it.

To quote the lyrics from an old En Vogue song:

Free your mind, and the rest will follow ...

I am exactly where my signature line states, and I'll be telling someone tomorrow.

homophobic?
 

When I was young, I went camping with male friends. Sometimes, after a few beers, we would do a "circle jerk" contest to see who would cum first. We didn't go beyond that because we were not sexually attracted to each other. I had one mutual masturbation experience, again it didn't get me turned on to "boys". GIRLS were the primary interest. Girls are still my primary interest, it turns out that some of them have cocks. So be it! Everyone can choose the kind of person they like and the kind of sex they like. That's how our cousins the Bonobos do it and they have very few conflicts. :hug::coupling::yes:

I'm not certainly gay, but I love tgirls.
Tgirls, for me, are women.
I love women, I love tgirls but I hate men, so I cannot be gay. It's logical! ;)

who cares?!
 

The more I think about this, the more I realize that my answer is simple:

Who cares!

I am just me. I like this or that or whatever. I'm attracted to this or that or whatever. Even though I recognize that labels make things easier for everyone, I just want to be a person who is the person I am. And I want everyone else to accept it or leave me alone.

Im the same, men are a HUGE turn off for me, they dont even slightly arouse me, but I love shemales and I love cocks on shemales, I think its only somewhat natural to find cocks alluring, after all, youve been playing with your own for a long time:)
Seriously though, Men no, Shemales, HELL YEAH!!!!!
Although I dont mind men who are feminine enough to dress in lingerie and look female.But its rare to find.

I pretty much think of ladyboys, femmeboys, shemales all as women, dudes just dont do anything for me. We are just a rare breed I guess lol. Fuck labels, I am who I am and do what I do.

The thing about being attracted to ladyboys is that I'm still attracted by the feminine form, there's just something kinky about having a cock i guess. Totally not interested in the male form. Being gay and liking TGirls are 2 different things.

the answer doesnt have anything to do with you or the other girls, you know what you are, you made your choices and are very proud and happy about them(well you should be i suppose that is why you have to talk to a therapist before undergoing everything)
this isnt about what you think about us its about what WE think of us. you had your moment of personal "crisis" your moment of desicion and thats good, very good. now we are undergoing a similar moment of desicion. its not going to change if we like shemales or not, if liking them makes us gay or not, i suppose a lot of us want to know so we can label ourselves, like humans very much like to do. its important to you if you are seen as a girl with a cock or a man with tits. you said so yourself, you seem to desire the label that you put on yourself. you dont care if i see you as one or the other, at least you shouldnt.

fact is it makes us a little on the gay side, but who cares? is it really that important in the long run, arent there more important things to worry about

Lucy I can't agree with this statement more, you are so right. If I have a preference it would be for a sweet ladyboy but the most important thing is that ones partner should have a tender loving disposition no matter what gender.

Kitty

I prefer.....
 

I prefer shemales' huge cocks to gays' ones but a big cock is a big cock to me and I'm very often turned on by gays with big cocks as well:turnon::coupling:

Are U Gay If U Love Shemales
 

IF YOU LOVE TOO SUCK ON SHEMALES ARE YOU GAY, OR JUST KINKY. FROM A NON GAY PERSON POINT OF VIEW:frown::innocent::turnon: ANY INSIGHTS TOO THIS ONE :innocent::coupling:

Going to be a lot of no's I think.

Yes!!!!!
 

I just luv pretty cock,not manly cock..:rolleyes:

Voted yes.

Although, i hate the idea of having to live under a label. :frown:

Having said that, if you enjoy the idea of sucking cock, even on the most beautiful ts, it surely has to be considered the tiniest bit gay!! :D

Personally i don't give a fuck. I love beautiful sexy women and i love beautiful sexy tgirls. The idea of sucking and fucking a tgirl turns me on but gay/straight men don't. I don't see myself as 100% gay nor 100% straight. I am what i am and i like what i like.

Hell no, but who cares. Like what ya like and go on! :yes:

IMHO you are "gay" if you feel yourself to be gay and "straight" if you feel yourself to be straight. Who you fuck/get fucked by doesn't necessarily correlate.

Heard so many opinions on this
 

I am not particularly concerned with labels, but I simply don't consider myself or anyone else in the same situation gay. If others do, fine. I am not going to argue. I see a guy ... nothing! Never had any attraction. Masculine features, body hair, etc. just not a turn-on at all. Why do I like a "lady" with a cock? Who knows? Maybe I'm bi-sexual if there are 3 sexes. I just know what I like;)

I don't believe that you are either 100% gay or 100% straight, I don't think you can place people's sexuality into categories like that. Sexuality more likely works on a sliding scale, with straight on one side, gay on the other and bisexual in the middle, and an individual's sexuality falls somewhere between these categories. For example, if I was to look at my sexuality within this context I would place myself on the straight side of bisexual as my general attraction is towards women but I have had sexual experiences with men aswell.

In relation to the question, I believe that to a greater or lesser degree an attraction to shemales can only be considered bisexual, whether its a subconcious desire or you are in denial about your sexuality there is no way you can consider yourself completely straight, one of the fundamental attractions of the shemale form is the fact that they have a cock and, like it or not lusting after cock is not a typically hetrosexual pattern of behaviour.

you tell me
 

I've never met a guy who I have even had a moments thought about sucking his cock. I love the female form, pussy (in my mouth or on my cock ), I love tgirls, shemales and pretty tv's and I love to suck their cocks and have my cock sucked by them. However, I also have a thing about being force feminised by men and/or women and during these fantasies I am forced and trained to love sucking huge black cocks especially. During these fantasies of the mind I am normally dressed as a sissy/slut and my cock is rock hard, as it is in my hand as I read or think through these scenarios.

AM I GAY?

I know I am not gay but I love watching shemale porn, just like I watch other porn too, to me porn is porn, except for gay porn that is...

Hell no. And I wouldn't care a shit if I was classed as Gay or not

My opinion... I'm not gay but not in sure... haha

I don't like male. Don't like to watching gay porn, and I never will be whit male (gay) on my bed - it is for sure.

But in another side I like shemales, like watching shemale and MMF bi-sex porn. Yes, I will allow T-Girl to fuck me, want to fuck T-Girls but will never do it just whit male.

I also like to play myself whit different anal toys and do it may be 10 times in a month watching shemale porn. But will never allow gay dick to penetrate my ass.

And another one :drool:
I have a girlfriend, we live together and she give me anything in our sexual life. In spite of all I like shemales (it's my secret of course) and when I have a chance fuck them or be fucked if I'm in a spirits of it.

So, am I gay? No, I mean no :rolleyes::innocent:

i find this thread amusing. how can the vast majority of respondents vote No, its not gay? a cock is a cock, wanting to suck one, have one put in ya bum, or just jerking off to the site of an attractive girl that also has one is to a large degree homosexual behaviour. the penis is the one phallic identifying symbol of males... dont kid yourselves.. because the shemales think you are gay anyway.

I think you would get a better indication to this question if you asked how many people have most of their family or real life friends fully aware that they are attracted to shemales...?

and yes i know it is an unfortunate label, albeit due to the unique circumstances, but labels and words are the things we live by.

Slipper made it so clear: you suck a cock if you like it no matter if you are a gay or not...(?) Or if it really so clear? just keep on wonderin', Tim of Finland :cool:

The whole idea of classifying people as "heterosexual" and "homosexual" is both relatively new and outdated - a relic of 19th century thought. Its unfortunate that both prejudice and "gay identity" perpetuate it. There has always been a much more flexible view of sexuality, throughout history and in many cultures... this whole phenomenon of forcing labels on people is a byproduct of current-day identity politics, and unfortunately often comes from both sides of the equation.

> from what i have red or understand most shemales don,t date gay men that seems to be what i understand maybe i,m wrong.:respect:

r u gay?
 

Gay? I don't think so because I am not attracted to men.
A little strange? maybe because I'm fascinated by cock!

Depends
 

I think it depends on the individual. I love watching Men having sex with trans. But do not particularly care for trans having sex with men. Also not into male on male, and I love women. I guess I'm a strange breed

I don't really care....
 

Personally, I don't care if someone called me a gay just because I love to admire shemales' cocks.As a matter of fact,apart from the websites with shemales I also visit the websites with gays to admire their big cocks.No matter if a cock belongs to a shemale or a man ,it always makes my juices run....:turnon:

Gay?
 

Question: Are we gay when attracted to shemales?
The term "gay" typically refers to sexual orientation of males, i.e. homosexual. If a male is "gay" he is sexually attracted to males. This can be considered a two step process. First; there is attraction to physical appearance (maleness). Second; there is attraction to the male genitalia. This then can result in sexual stimulation of the male genitals (homosexuality).
OK, if a male is attracted to the appearance of a shemale because she looks female and then desires to sexually stimulate her male genitalia, is he "gay"?
The genitalia and their function are exactly the same for both male and shemale in all respects, scrotum, testis, penis, erection and ejaculation. The only difference is the appearance of the person possessing the male genitalia. Now "gayness" refers to sexual attraction to the genitalia (male). As far as "gayness' is concerned the appearance of a person should have nothing to do with desire for the genitalia. Consequently, if one desires sexually the genitalia of a shemale, since she possesses male genitalia, that person by definition is "gay". There is the option that a person may sexually desire both male and female genitalia, in that case, the person could be considered bisexual.
The confusion arises when at step one, the male is attracted to the feminine attributes of the shemale. Then at step two, he is attracted to her male attributes. Most males will deny that they are "gay" when attracted to and sexually stimulating a shemale, even though the sexual activity is essentially the same as male to male homosexual activity. The only difference is the initial attractiveness of the person, male or shemale.
Males go to Thailand to have sex with "ladyboys" and they do not consider this homosexual activity. The ladyboys are obviously boys, often they are flat chested and have very boyish bodies and some have huge cocks (Mint). Yet, many supposedly heterosexual men indulge in sex with ladyboys (boys).
Even though most of the males on this forum deny they are gay, they are nevertheless thinking about or participating in gay activity. There is the argument that the shemale "looks" female therefore her genitalia are female. Obviously, this argument is not biologically sound. The other argument is that if the shemale "believes" she is female, then her genitalia become "female", again the facts are, by definition, male genitalia consist of scrotum, testis and penis.
The reason I have tried to logically analyze the issue is because most males are extremely sensitive about "gayness". They do not want to be considered gay or be associated with gays. Yet, they participate in gay activity when they can deny that what they are doing is gay activity. The male mind is very good at hypocrisy when it allows him to do what he desires especially (sex). OK, considering oneself bisexual does not get one off the hook either. If one desires female genitalia and also male genitalia, the latter is still gay activity.
After working through this thought process, I recognize that since I desire male genitalia attached to shemales, I have gay tendencies. So what does that mean? It means I like genitalia, male and/or female. It does not mean that everyone I see who possesses male or female genitalia will be attractive to me, however.;)

a gay friend of mine said told me he has no attraction to shemales. he says gay men want men. not shemales.

I'm not attracted to men but if I'd suck on a shemale, that would make me less hesitant to suck on a guy if he shoved his cock in front of me during a 3way.

I guess if it happens, it happens but I wouldn't go looking for a guy to be alone with.

Makes me kinda bi I guess :innocent:

That's simply it!

Sexual orientation is more than liking someone's gentials. It's the whole package. Some (I daresay most) people will be too hung up on the fact that a gorgeous shemale has a penis to find her attractive; others will see an attractive woman with a penis and say "Wow, she's hot".

Interesting thread this! The whole 'tranny and gay' thing has only recently appeared within our culture. I don't know why this conundrum suddenly started to appear in the last forty years or so. It seems that, although we kid ourselves that we are now all 'liberated' and open about our sexualities we are actually more inhibited than we were back in the victorian era!
Until we became 'modern' sex with same genders and/or transgenders was just what it was, fun and sex.
We need a 'bi-sensual' revival and ditch the old 'bisexual' chestnut. That causes nowt but grief.
As for me? I find trannies sexy as hell, so much so that I became one myself! :lol: Nah, seriously, I feel that if you find trannies attractive, then enjoy it, don't worry about sexual orientation obstacles.

Good point! I guess to me the penis takes on the gender of its "owner". I don't know how else to express it.

Why do I feel this way?
 

I don't know how to explain it. It's just that, everytime I see things related to transgenderism, or crossdressing. I just feel guilty with myself and, I wish I was 6 feet under.

I really like everything related to this world, but it's like I felt bad for liking this.

I used to crossdress, and I was also planning to undergo a sex change therapy. But a lot of difficult situations got in my way, including things with my family, who found out my plans. It caused me a lot problems. Things have changed, So do I, or at least that's what they think, to not hurt the ones surrounding me. I though that, by leaving all those things behind, I could make a change in my life for better, because I felt that I was betraying my parents and friends but, now, I think it was just stupid.

Everyday I wake up, I ask to myself "What if you would have decided to forget about those persons and pursue your dream?" To be honest I'm not happy, I can't even understand my purpose to stay alive, I just live for the heck of it, and for the hope of a better tomorrow.

I can't get it. Why I can't stay firm to my decision? Why I feel that I'm just under a smokescreen that I have made for myself to hide my truth?

I just think I'm betraying to myself but, I also feel that if I do it, that if I retake that way of life, I'll be betraying a lot of people, as well as a part of me.

its a common problem among people who feel to change their birth sex...

Rules created by the society are so strange. i don't know why everyone around have to bother with what one feels about self .... why just they tend to their own business? Why do they have to add to the already existin problems of people who want to change their sex? Why they cant let them be what they want? afterall they arent causing any harm to others......
Why is shame associated with these things???? why people change their outlook on people if they change their sex or their sexual preference (same sex ) comes to light ???????
and we thought homo sapiens are social animals..... if this is social then being lonely is much better.....
but again homo sapiens are emotional beings and cant let their loved ones be hurt by actions of their self....therefore tries to blend with the rules of the society to save their family from shame.....
pondering on these drives them crazy.... but still they will stick to it.... to keep their family binded and save them from shame.....
i dont know about the rest of the world but where i live the situation is very much like the way i have described above.....
i feel choked and want to flee and let my loved ones know that i am doing well as they know me but lead a life hidden from them which satisfies me?
but the thought of separation forever makes my heart cry..........

Sorry if i compounded ur problems but i very much feel like living in a cage.......

crossingoceans, you need more help than you will be able to get on this site. I urge you to see a qualified therapist. I realize that this will not be cheap, but at least you will get the help that you need and deserve. I would also urge you to do some research and checking so that you can find a therapist that you feel comfortable with.

I do agree completely with Ila - take this seriously, get some support and move on from there. This forum is probably not the place to expect true guidance. Yes, a lot of good is going on here, but I doubt we have many pro-therapists on board.

From your posting it's not completely clear if you consider yourself a trans* (at least I was in doubt as to your point about this), but no matter what then you sound like a very good person with a problem you have to come to grips with.

But you're undoubtedly completely ok! And all the hazzle you meet is based on stupidity and lack of empathy from your surroundings - and that is very common, sadly.

Best wishes

H

I agree with ila as well. I will say that I used to really struggle with trying to live-up to other people's expectations of what and who I should be. Ultimantely, its your life. Your opinion of yourself matters far more than anyone else's.

I'm in Total Agreement
 

crossingoceans, I agree with Ila and Hank. The best "help" you are likely to get on this forum are facile cliches along the lines of "Don't Worry, Be Happy" or "Life is too short to feel guilty." I, too, urge you to find a qualified therapist.

The most important thing in life is to be happy and it is clear you aren't going to be happy until you are free to express your true self. I'm sure you feel you are betraying people but if you spend your life doing what other people expect you are betraying yourself and that is much worse.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with your needs and desires it is simply that society is by nature conformist and people will always take what appears to be the majority vote.

Wherever you are remember you are completely free to live your life as you want to. You may lose the respect of others but if they can't respect you for who you really are then they are not worth knowing.

find someone to talk to about this
 

crossingoceans,
I too agree with the others that a therapist would be of great help. And, while you are searching for that help, you might try to clarify for yourself just exactly what it is that motivates you to crossdress or have an interest in being a transgender. JUst liking or wanting to do it is not in itself a reason. Oftentimes, writing something out or even speaking it, gives a clarity that just thinking about something doesn't. When you hear something spoken you get a better feeling of whether that which is said is on or off the track. Oftentimes, we talk ourselves into something that may not be what we really want. It is just a notion.
I'm also uncertain of your motive and direction. What is it about crossdressing that you wish to persue it? Clothing, eroticism, femininity? What is it about transgender that appeals to you. That you could live as a female? Are your interests in life female oriented? Do you see yourself in a passive role with a male? Are you gay and seeking some way to get around something that you resist?
You already know what your friends and family think about your idea? Imagine if you were a transgender? How would that lessen your problems? From reading the many posts here, I gather that just fulfilling a desire to be a transgender is just the beginning of problems that there will be in society at large. It will make relationships with all sorts of people difficult and different. Just ask any of the m2f posters here.
People in all walks of life must compromise and happiness everyday isn't possible even for the most successful person in the world. Let's say you think of yourself as a woman. In that context, what is it that you would do? Is there any way that you could do that same thing and remain the person you are? Some people aren't cut out to be Babe Ruth or Joe Dimaggio but they can be successful at things related to their interest. A good coach , for example.
Think about what it is that you are striving for in your new identity and see if that is not possible with some modification? You don't need to make instant decisions--take your time. Stay calm.
Best wishes on your journey to self fulfillment.

crossingoceans

Hello hun xxx , ok first things first i was also in your position i felt guilty because of who i was and felt like i let everyone down who knew me as a man. Yet the more and more i dwelled on it the worse i became and yes suicidal, but what changed me was i started to spend time and talk to other people in my position and how they delt with things and in time and it didnt take too long i realised i was not the only person who was or had been through this. Ive never liked my male body sure i love everything female from clothes to lifestyle. I wanted so much to be accepted.. So finally i started to take hormones are seeing my doctor and i am now going to go the full way and have sex reasignment surgery. My father has taken along time to come around my mother and sister love it and people who have known me well if they didnt accept it and respect my wishes then they were not friends in the first place and i have retained alot of them most of them were pretty shocked and wow'd when they first saw me out at a club dressed as a women and that can make you feel fantastic.

So dont feel guilty you only live once and its your life and live it how you want to truely never feel you have to be trapped.. talk ... and live life to the full.

xxx
Steph

Hello crossingoceans,

I must say I disagree with most of the posts here (except Steph).

Well, firstly - happiness is NOT the purpose of life. Life's a lot easier when there is happiness around, but happiness is this illusion people keep trying to find, and when they do, it's transient. Please be happy, but when you're not, understand that life is about what you feel, even if it hurts really badly.

Life is about survival. No matter how much the mind is upset, the body wants to live, and will do everything in its power for every precious breath. So respect your body.

And if your body is turned on by things - respect that, because as long as you're not physically hurting anything else, as long as you respect the physical space of all other things, you are guiltless.

People's minds are so fucked up, so morally up their own arses, so duplicitous, that to live your life trying to pacify their minds is crazy and not even remotely possible. Don't think for a minute that your actions will make or break your family's psychological well being. They are as, if not more (and I say that because you at least are aware of the conflicting feelings you face) f'd up than you.

You may not have taken the actions you've imagined, because you may not be ready. So, indulge in your feelings. Get off on them. Meet people you want to meet, watch the porn you want to watch, and tell guilt to go arse fuck itself.

But, before you change your life drastically, consider how good your life actually is. That you can eat, sleep, go to a movie...freely. Don't mess with that, appreciate it. Life will find you in time, make you whole and full, grow you and utilise you - so stay innocent, be simple, be unhappy when you're unhappy, and have fun when fun comes along.

I wish you so well

These comments remind me of an essay by Einstein. Here is the relevant extract:

From "The World As I See It":

Call it what you like...
 

I think we all try to understand ourselves for being attracted to transexuals. It's weird at first... why am I so turned on? What makes me want to be with them? Am I gay? Straight? Bi? It was hard on me at first as well. But, I finally come to the conclusion that I do like cock. I just don't like it when it's attached to a real manly guy. Not sure why. I just would prefer it on an attractive woman. I look at every woman I pass when I'm out. I think about fucking just about every one of them. However, I never think about the men for a second. But, if I'm at my gym and guys are showering and nude all around me, I'm ready to drop to the floor with mouth wide open.

So, am I gay? Sure, if that's what you want to call it. Am I bi? Yup. Straight? Sometimes. I just know for a fact that I'll never be curled up in front of fire cuddling with a guy. Strolling hand in hand on the beach with a guy. But I can easily see me doing those things with a woman or an attractive transexual.