Sorry for the silly post but I couldn't resist. :innocent:

The only way to deal with her predicament is to take care of it myself...

First, I would throw her incompetent "rescuer" out the porthole. Maybe the sharks will get him?

Second, I would cut her loose and bring her back inside. That dickhead isn't even watching what he's doing. He'll probably stab her in the back or cut her fucking arm off. Of course she would be eternally grateful.

Third, after a long and passionate kiss, she reveals to me that she "kind of liked" being tied up. :drool: Also she hints that she has a secret she'd like to share with me later... :inlove:

Of course it's a long voyage so we have lots of time to become better acquainted. :cool:

(Actually it's no "secret." I could feel her hard cock as our bodies were pressed tightly together during our kiss.)

Movies, TV, Pulp Magazines and... Toys? I’m sure these gave kids lots of ideas. Always wondered where they came from. Surprised I’ve never seen them on “Pawn Stars.” Maybe I missed that episode? Bet Rick had them as a kid… :lol: Unopened in the box they’re probably worth a fortune. My guess is Aurora knew exactly what they were doing. They were even “Rated X for Excitement.”

Read about it here: “Nabisco's X-Rated Toy Scandal of 1971.”

Those are cool!:cool:

I bet a lot of young boys found excitement playing with "The Victim" back then:lol:

I'm sure they did. ;) But today they have Barbie Dolls. Even Ken gets into the act... :lol::lol::lol:

The Barbie Bondage Playset looks like LOADS of fun!:lol:

I think I'd rather play with this pretty doll though!:drool:

She’s very hot. Looks like she could use a partner. :drool::turnon::heart: She’s all yours my friend. ;)

Did a search and could not find who she was. You can see her sexy bulge as her cock begs for release. :turnon:

Whoever tied her up did a pretty good job. Love the tight corset. :respect:

Almost looks like my work… :innocent: Except I would have tied her ankles to the back legs of the chair, put another strap above her breasts, also straps on her upper arms, used black leather belts on her thighs (not that white rope), and finally placed a leather “slave” collar around her neck. After I played with her for a while and we kissed for a long time, maybe a rubber penis gag?

I’m assuming she prepared for this evening by not cumming for several days. Maybe a week or more? A month?

Make sure you upload the video!

That's actually a picture you posted last year in the CD thread. Still waiting for the video!:lol:

Yes I remember it. :drool::turnon::heart: After cumming, I think she wiggled out and escaped. :( She's all yours... ;)

You know- it's weird. Since this thread is about turn-ons, I can say that when it comes to BDSM, the thought of tiring a girl up turns me on but so does the thought of being tied up!

There's a whole genre of forced feminization and sissification. I'm not into that so much although I find sissies really sexy. But I also really love fem-doms! It's all great!:turnon::turnon::turnon:

Of course my three current favorites could also have their way with me. :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:

(They're all 3 kinda "Dominatrixlike" here... Moderators: Yes, Miley is "over 18." No, this scene wasn't from "Hannah Montana." :innocent:)

Ooooohhhhhh.....Mal!:inlove::inlove::inlove::inlov e:

National Lampoon managed to offend almost everyone. Perhaps it’s best known cover was the one featuring a dog with a gun pointed at its head. Politicians, entertainers, sports figures, etc. Nobody was above becoming a target of ridicule.

Their covers were also known for being somewhat risqué, often featuring sexy models and innuendo. I’m sure many teen-age boys bought the magazine just for that. There was often plenty of “jerk off” material inside as well.

My introduction was through a friend’s brother who was several years older than us. He used to let us “borrow” his old Playboys, Penthouses, Hustlers, and… National Lampoons. :cool:

Now you know how my interest in bondage began… All I can say is this was probably my “favorite” cover. :drool:

I detest anything “Hitler” or “Nazi” related and refuse to post anything containing fascist symbolism. However I’ll make an exception in this case… ;)

Ever wonder why I went into teaching and not something else? :innocent:

Although this cover is from 1979, that guy is definitely me. :lol:

Here, I am assuming she’s a college student (over 18), one of mine of course. She’s not cheating. Actually she’s been flirting with me all semester. It’s the day of the final and she’s the last one to finish. She knows I’ve figured out her “secret.” Underneath that very sexy denim skirt is a perfect 7” cock. I have just asked her out and she’s surprised that it “took me so long.” :turnon::heart:

Many years in the future I finally get to meet Dove Cameron and we go for a ride on my motorcycle. Next time I’ll remember to wear my helmet… :eek:

(How did I know she had a perfect 7" cock? A few weeks earlier she sat alone in the front row with her legs apart wearing that same skirt unbuttoned all the way and no panties...)

More vintage “jerk off” covers. :drool:

Very resourceful. Probably because she doesn’t want to be late for our date tonight. :innocent:

“Ride-Em Cowboy” takes on a whole new meaning… :lol:

There are entire websites devoted to “Weird Tales.” Wonder why? ;)

Amazing how her dress just “rode up” like that. Showing off her thighs in sexy stockings and garters. :turnon:

Look closely. How did that get by the censors? That’s right there weren’t any. Also why the fuck does he care about her shoe? :eek:

Don’t know what the hell this is from but she is totally gorgeous. I’d even let her “pets” move in with us. :inlove::inlove::inlove:

Re: My “future wife” in the last picture above. I’m assuming that she’s good, sort of like “The Good Witch”? “Mal’s” older sister maybe? (She looks good to me… :drool:) Yes. Of course her “pets” could move in with us but I’d banish them from the bedroom. And if you look really closely there appears to be a slight “bulge” in her panties. Hi-Res versions show it better. :inlove::turnon:

By the way that creepy “ZZ Top wannabe motherfucker” with the beard, and his little friend look like they may be up to no good. Someone should tell him “Duck Dynasty” has been cancelled. If he makes trouble for her, I might have to take that stick and shove it up his ass. BTW nice hat. But Halloween is still three months away. And little dude—shave those arms! :lol::lol::lol:

(I dunno maybe she’s a sorceress and will turn them into frogs. Besides her pets look hungry. God, what if I’m wrong and he’s like her dad or something? :()

From 1927. This predates any of the other covers I've posted. Bet lots of guys whacked off over this one. :drool:

The caption accompanying the picture was "Le Sourire, Football Soccer Glamour Magazine, France, 1927."

"Studio 54" opened in 1977. It was the place to be seen if you were a celebrity. :drool:

According to the article: "If you've never heard of Studio 54, either you've been living under a rock since the dawn of mankind, or you're opposed to having a great time at clubs. Gen X'ers and Millennials alike all know about one of the most iconic clubs to ever exist in New York City."

OK. Whatever. Depending on where you draw the line, I'm considered either an older Millennial or a very young Gen X'er. I wasn't that familiar with it. By the time we lived in NYC "Studio 54" was long gone. I'll have to ask my students if they have ever heard of it? :(

Can you guess the four celebrities posing with the "Village People"? I got 3 out of 4. See how you do. :cool:

(Of course I know who the Village People are. I played sports, remember? I've probably heard "YMCA" ten-zillion times at games. Plus their role in LGBT history and culture. They were a very big deal 40 years ago. I've always wondered how many fans actually knew what the whole thing was about? My personal favorite BTW is "Macho Man." Used to work out to it. :respect:)

Was at the gym and heard "Uma Thurman" by Fall Out Boy. I had forgotten about about this song. It heavily makes use of "The Munsters" theme music. "The Munsters" ran from 1964-66, long before most of us were around and continues today in re-runs.

Among the "highlights" were Yvonne De Carlo :inlove: who was considered one of the most beautiful and glamorous actresses of the 50's and Pat Priest :drool: as their "normal" daughter (or was it niece?). Fred Gwynne who stood 6'5" normally, wore giant boots that made him well over 7' tall in order to play Herman Munster the head of the family. :eek:

But to many people it was the cars designed by George Barris (who would also create 60's icons like the Batmobile and 70's and 80's icons for Starsky and Hutch, The Dukes of Hazzard, and Knight Rider) that were the real stars of the show.

The Munster Coach, while impressive, was no match for "Dragula" the golden "coffin bodied" drag racer driven by Grandpa. Dragula was a functional race car and would often be exhibited at local dragstrips. :respect:

"Dragula" later re-entered popular culture in 1999 when Rob Zombie recorded a song of the same name. Yes, of course I had the CD! I'll have to post "Living Dead Girl" to the "Sing A Long" thread one of these days... :innocent:

Dove and Motorcycles
 

Rumour has it that Dove showed up at Andy's place to go for a ride on his bike. :lol::lol:

Nice. :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove: You'll have to look for us on TMZ tonight. That explains the helicopters full of paparazzi flying over Zionsville today. :innocent:

More "jerk off" material from the 30's and 40's. :drool:

So that's how "electrical play" got started... :innocent:

Nice. But I'd want her to tickle something other than my nose... :drool:

Gorgeous. :inlove: Of course I'd rescue her then I think we'd have a lot of fun together... :turnon:

How do you get a job like that? (His not hers. Bet I would get fired for "behaving inappropriately.") :lol:

Works for me. Excuse me for a sec... :blush:

My wife thought I had a "little too much fun" at the Taylor Swift concert last week. :(

More "Pulp" magazine fun! :drool:

But he's got a great personality... :lol:

From 1924. Damn!!! :heart: :turnon:

He doesn't know how to tie a girl up. Besides he's way too old for you. Come home with me instead. :inlove:

Shit happens, Batman... :(

She's making "claws" with her hands. Does that mean she wants that done to her? :confused:

Fuck yes! And she's wearing red too. God... Now we just need to get rid of that guy. :turnon: :innocent:

The 1924 cover above. She’s hot :inlove: and I’m surprised to see something that risqué from over 90 years ago (I didn't think sex was invented until like maybe 1979... :lol:). Besides coming to the realization that she would be about the same age as my great-grandmother :blush: I’m intrigued by the “$100 contest." Wonder what it was? That was a lot of money back then. Probably enough to buy that ring. :eek:

Dude, why didn't you just take her to "Joe's Crab Shack"? :lol:

Sweetie, I'm into bondage too but we'd be a lot more comfortable on my bed than that rock. Of course as part of your "punishment" I'd have to suck and tease your luscious cock for hours... :drool: :turnon:

After seeing some of the women on these covers, I've thought of doing just that. In fact I built a time machine. Glad the artist captured my "good side." (Anyone else think he looks like "Zippy"?) :blush:

Is he making the perfect woman? If I was that doctor you know I'd be thinking "Hayley Williams, Hayley Williams, Hayley Williams..." :inlove: :innocent:

The Apollo moon landings were almost 50 years ago. Last week, the mission to the ISS had to abort. If "real" visitors ever came from outer space today, we'd be fucked. :(

A gorgeous naked redhead with wolves for pets? Definitely "wife material." :respect: :heart: :yes:

Those are some pretty women:inlove:

Keeping with the vintage theme of this thread, I used to have this exact issue of Penthouse Forum hidden under my mattress when I was a kid. I'd jerk myself silly to the model on the cover but the stories inside really got me excited too, especially one about a guy who discovered how much fun he could have with his friend and his vibrator. It blew my mind!:drool:

What celebrity would you lose your virginity to?
 

Glad you like them. :drool: Like you, I always had print "jerk off" material close at hand. My "hiding place" was my box springs. I carefully cut a slit at the seam and covered it up with the fitted sheet. I of course used to make my own bed. ;) So I'm sure my mom never suspected... :innocent:

My sources were my dad's collection dating to the 60's, my best friend's brother (he was a lot older than us his dad had been married before), and of course my mom's Sears catalog (what are kids gonna do now that they are going bankrupt? :()

Even with the computer and Internet always present there was something about jacking off over a beautiful girl in a magazine that was somehow more "naughty" and perhaps even more "intimate." :blush:

There is a thread on "Straight Dope" that asks the question "If you could lose your virginity to any celebrity from any time, who would you chose?"

Rule 13 prevents linking to other "boards" so I think it would be fun to hear from our own members anyway. And yes, she (or he) may be cis or trans. :inlove:

So, who would it be???

This topic would probably be better as a new thread.

Good idea. I'll give it a try. Hope it generates some interest. ;)

Weird Vintage Pulp Covers :drool:

"1984" magazine from 1978! Can you see any "phallic" imagery? :innocent:

My Dad always wanted me to become an astronaut. Shoulda taken his advice... :drool:

"Weird Tales." No wonder this one has a following online. :turnon:

Other than the cigarette, this girl is sexy as fuck. :inlove:

Why does Satan get to have all the fun? :(

No reason. Just think the Redhead in the dress is hot. :heart:

I was up late one night watching an episode of "Real Sex" on HBO, sometime in middle school. I must have been around 11-12. During a segment of the show, Vanity was interviewed at an adult film convention of some sort. She was walking around naked with her member just flopping around on full display. I knew right then and there that I was strongly attracted to transwomen, and that seeing cocks turned me the f**k on! End of story, period.

I'll always love Vanity, my ambassador to transgender sex ❤️❤️❤️

“Cosak is the kind of cloth the world of tailoring has dreamed about” In 1967 woolen merchants Dormeuil limited spent around £100,000 (over £1 million today) on an advertising campaign that promoted a brand new durable material that was twice the strength of Mohair – Cosak was a blend of 55% Terylene and 45% Mohair.”

Is it just me or does he look quite a bit older than her? Not that it matters (just in case you’re reading this, Dove Cameron :inlove:). :innocent:

My favorite. Of course it is. ;) If it’s called “Cosak” why is that a United States Atlas missile with what appears to be a project Mercury capsule on board? Anyone else notice where his left hand is? And what kind of “subliminal” message does the rocket give? Christ, you know they’re gonna be doing it by the next ad. :drool:

But shouldn’t she be doing the measuring? Maybe he’s afraid he won’t “measure up.” :lol::lol::lol:

Very nice! I like the one where she's reaching inside his jacket:drool:

We talked about the "Sears"catalog before andI used to hide fashion catalogs used hide under my mattress with "Opera News". I never got into cross-dressing but I love ladies clothing! I can't think of any specific ad from back then but these shots of Tara sort of capture the vibe of what turned me on as a kid. And Tara is just soooo hot! :turnon::turnon::turnon:

I'm glad you like it. First time I'd ever seen these. Very risque for over 50 years ago. The blonde is hot. :drool:

Here are some more vintage covers:

If that was Hayley, Miley, and Taylor, I'd put up no resistance... :inlove::inlove::inlove:

Happy Thanksgiving! :lol:

Damn. She looks like she'd be great in bed. Why can't I meet someone like that? :turnon:

"Tall, Blonde, and Evil"? She sounds perfect to me. :heart:

Where do I apply? :drool:

Gotta admit, my wife and I have never used "Eisenhower" as a safeword before... :(

"Tall, Blonde, and Evil"? She sounds perfect to me. :heart:

Me too! I don’t know how evil she is but Bob described Najila on his site as “six foot two, blonde, and blue”. I’ve been fantasizing about this climbing all over this sexy amazon for years! What a beauty!:turnon::drool::heart:

"Batman" was long before my time but who isn't familiar with the TV show from the 60's? I always knew "Batman" was known for it's bizarre "predicaments" and bondage scenes. But at first I thought these clips were from a gay torture video until I recognized who they were (yes, I know, you are wondering if I was searching for gay bondage videos... :blush:).

The episode was called "A Riddle a Day Keeps the Riddler Away" and aired in 1966. The Riddler was planning to "spin" them on the wheel until they died. :(

It looks like Batman may be starting to "enjoy" his predicament somewhat. :innocent:

(I include them here because of the sexual and "retro" nature of this thread. I once wrote a story about sucking off a long haired cute "femboy" Robin strapped to an electric chair so who am I to say whether or not this turned someone on. I'm sure it did. :drool: The producers knew what they were doing...)

(I include them here because of the sexual and "retro" nature of this thread. I once wrote a story about sucking off a long haired cute "femboy" Robin strapped to an electric chair so who am I to say whether or not this turned someone on. I'm sure it did. :drool: The producers knew what they were doing...)[/QUOTE]

I remember enjoying that story!:cool:

We talked a lot about "Batman"and I posted about how the episodes with Marsha Queen of Diamonds was the first time I got turned on by a lady. I'll never forget how I would grind into the sofa when she or Catwoman or Batgirl came on!:inlove::inlove::inlove:

But just about every episode featured pretty ladies as Batman's foes always had a sexy sidekick.:drool: This site tells who the actresses are- there's some real beauties! I :heart: retro-divas!:inlove:

https://www.66batmania.com/guides/henchwomen/

Of course if I ever did travel back to 1968 I'd of course catch a ride with my friend Hugh Hefner in his private jet. :drool:

A converted DC-9, the "Big Bunny" flew from 1966-1975 when it was sold to Venezuela Airlines. It was used as a commercial airliner for Aeromexico until 2004.

Looks like fun! :cool:

Something different. Yugoslavian computer magazine covers of the 1980s-90's. :drool:

Don't remember "PC Magazine" ever having this risque of a cover when I was younger. Would have had to hide these from my mom. :innocent:

Think my favorites would be "October 1994," "September 1992," and "October 1992." :inlove:

(Wonder who alive today knows what a "386" or "486" is? Or ever owned one? Or has ever heard of "Lotus 1-2-3" or "Windows 3.1"? Wonder who "Bil Gejts" is? :lol:)

I started with a Commodore 64 and then moved on to DOS on an Atari. Lotus 1-2-3 was still a DOS program. dbIII+ was the pinnacle of databases. WordPerfect was the only word processor worth talking about and Harvard Graphics was the only presentation program that could do more than show bullet points. I remember when a 50 MHz processor was called a screamer. It took me a long time before I had anything faster than that. It's hard to believe that at one time sixteen colours on a monitor was not just cutting edge, but bleeding edge. I was a system administrator using a DOS based NOS. Shall I go on?

I started with a Commodore 64 as well. Did you have the cassette? I also had to hook it up to an old color TV. :( My Dad had a Compaq DeskPro 386 for work and a T1 line that GM paid for. So I was exposed to business and technology at a pretty early age. We had a Novell network at school and one of the teachers let me work with it. Under his supervision of course. I remember almost all of the original DOS based computers and the earliest versions of Windows. One of my professors in grad school had an old "CP/M" machine sitting in his office. It still worked. My first "real" computer was a "hand me down" IBM PC/AT that used 1.2 Mb floppies had a 20Mb hard drive and used a "286" processor running at 6Mhz. :lol:

My first "new" computer was a "Gateway 2000" 486 running at 25Mhz. It was the first to have "VGA" graphics so you could see "real" pictures. :drool:

During middle school through High school I probably owned over a dozen PC's including Mac's. In college I learned UNIX and became proficient at C++. My undergraduate was in Industrial Management which was Purdue's way of combining Business and Engineering. The last CRT monitor I owned was in 1999. It was a Dell and had a 19" screen. I got a workout carrying it around. Everything since then has been a flat screen. My current home display is 27". For most professional work I use an HDMI interface at our university and in my office. My current home desktop uses an AMD Ryzen with 32 Cores and has a 1Tb Solid State drive. Everything is wireless. I have a Linux machine in my office as well as many tablets and notebooks.

At my university they give us "Acers" running Windows 7 and Office 2013. :blush: Most of the students have better technology. The main classroom I teach in has six huge flat panel displays that I can control with my phone or iPad.

Sorry to go on and on. Long boring post... :innocent:

(In 1988, one of the school administrators gave me this "certificate" after I helped him with an end of year project. 30 years ago! Notice the "border" of "floppies." :lol: No I wasn't very old. Surprised I still have it. He was one of my inspirations to go into teaching many years later. He is still alive and we correspond now and then. Of course, along the way I managed to add to my collection by earning a Bachelor's Degree, an MBA, and Doctorate. I'm chair of the Business Analytics Program at our university and I also own a market research company. I've done pretty well.)

Julie Newmar is soooooo hot!:inlove::inlove::inlove:

So as not to take this thread way off track I'll keep my answer short.

The Commodore 64 that I learned on belonged to my boss. He was modern for his times and had 2 drives both 5 14" floppies. The monitor was a tv. This the computer that I had to learn some Basic to operate.

The Atari I learned on belonged to an educational institution. DOS had progressed to the point where I didn't need to use any Basic programming.

The first computer that I ever bought was Gateway 2000 486 with a 33 MHz processor, a 5 1/4" floppy drive and a 3 1/2", but no CD ROM drive. It came with a huuuuge 14" monitor.

I'll try to get it back on track. I'm thinking of changing my desktop wallpaper. Which one should I pick? :inlove:

(Somebody went to a lot of trouble to make a Windows 95 theme for Windows 10. Why? :()

The Windows 95 logo of course. What could be sexier? :confused:

Unless of course it was a screenshot from this early PC game featuring the promise of electric sex… :drool:

Good news. Hayley :inlove: is currently leading 4 to 1. You can probably guess which of the two is already gracing my desktop... :innocent: :heart:

However, the Windows 95 logo might be “sexier” then most people think. :eek: In 1995, Microsoft chose the song “Start Me Up” by the Rolling Stones as the theme song for the release of their new operating system. It was played during commercials and you could even order the album “Tattoo You” directly from Microsoft.

Microsoft was also pushing, at the time, the “educational” aspects of technology and targeting younger people (especially grade and middle school students such as myself). Of course Apple had this market wrapped up almost from the beginning. I remember that Microsoft targeted “Encarta” a “multimedia” CD-ROM based encyclopedia at people my age. I still have my copy and it is painful to look at almost 24 years later. Once I showed it to my current students (college age) during a discussion of the evolution of interactive technology and they couldn’t stop laughing at it. The “basketball” video is a classic. :lol:

Anyway, I digress. Someone in "PR" wasn't paying attention... If you are familiar with the lyrics to “Start Me Up” you know it’s not appropriate for a “family friendly” product. Also it received unintended ridicule from “IT” professionals with the lyric “You make a grown man cry” as it was notoriously difficult to work with. But it gets better… Here are some of the actual lyrics, my favorite are the last two:

If you like it, I can slide it up

Slide it up, slide it up, slide it up

You, you, you make a grown man cry

You, you made a dead man come

You, you made a dead man come

He only has eyes for you… :lol:

Tried to talk my wife into something like this for Christmas… :innocent:

From 1926! Look at how Frosty is smiling. Bet that’s not a carrot down there… :drool:

Damn! It’s all of my “ex’s”... :(

God, the girl in the red dress and stockings. :inlove: Yes, he IS way too old for you…

She’s thinking “Shit. Never shoulda 'swiped right.' But his profile sounded so hot...” :eek:

My wife after she found out I headed down to Nashville last night to watch the Colts/Titans game with Hayley. Even worse, she discovered I bet our savings on Tennessee... :(

No reason, just think this girl is super hot and sexy AF. Don’t even care if she smokes in bed or not… :inlove::inlove::inlove:

The first time I put my hand there on a girl I got slapped… Shouldn't have done that with my teacher. :blush:

Cute. From 1965. YOU tell her Pluto’s not a planet anymore… :eek:

OK baby. Let’s see you try that with an iPhone… :lol:

I see nothing weird about this. Shit, I have women on the brain 24/7… :drool: :innocent:

Since quite a few of my posts in this thread feature covers of beautiful women from “Film Fun” magazine, I decided to do some research on it before I have to start in again next week on my real job. They are very risqué. Especially for almost 100 years ago! :drool: Not that I’m complaining. :innocent:

From MagazineArt.org:

(Ila even makes an appearance. Except it can’t be him. Because ila is the same age as me... "29." So it must be one of his ancestors. Either way I would trade places… :drool: :innocent:)

My favorites above are the girl in the yellow swimsuit (from 1933) and the one next to her lying on the beach (from 1934). :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:

This site is educational. So we know now that “the perfect ass” has existed for at least 85 years… :drool: :turnon: :innocent:

(You learn something everyday. ;) For example, it took me a while to “catch on” to the “double-entendre.” in the last one. “Petting” is an old-fashioned term for “making out” sometimes including everything all the way up to all-out fucking. Don’t know how I knew that… I think it was from watching re-runs of “Happy Days.” :lol:)

Wow! "Film Fun" looks fun indeed! My favorite is the lady on the lower left- hot!:drool:

My parents had an old hardback coffee table book called "Life Goes To The Movies" from Life Magazine. In it were some pictures I really loved of Julie Newmar as Stupefyin Jones from the movie "Lil Abner":inlove::inlove::inlove:
There were also some of Shirley Maclaine that I really enjoyed:heart:

Feel free to post! :drool: My parents had a similar book called something like "Life Goes to War." Lots of beauties in the style of pinups like the "Film Fun" covers. Many 40's actresses too. Quite a few adorned the noses of WWII bombers and fighter aircraft. The "Memphis Belle" was very tame. Others were quite risque. There are many collections out there. Worth checking out. :respect:

I loved that book when I was kid and would sneak it up to my room from time to time:rolleyes:

I can't remember all the beautiful actresses in there but I do remember being struck by how gorgeous Elizabeth Taylor was as Cleopatra and would fantasize about being this magnificent queen's young boy-toy:inlove::inlove::inlove:

Wow! She's pretty!:inlove::inlove::inlove:

You know, it seems I've always had a thing for queens.. "Marsha Queen of Diamonds"was perhaps the first lady to ever turn me on. And then there were other queens...like Beverly Sills:inlove::inlove::inlove:

Aircraft nose art during WWII was quite risque. Even though both the USAAF and RAF issued directives against decorating aircraft they couldn't prevent it and finally decided it was good for morale. :cool:

That is Betty Grable ("Million Dollar" legs :drool:) gracing "Sentimental Journey" a Boeing B-17 "Flying Fortress," and of course the famous "Memphis Belle." The site said it was the restored original but there is also a "movie" version that makes the rounds.

Of course our friends and allies in the RAF also got into the act, "Just Jane" is very sexy and nicely adorns this Avro "Lancaster." :respect:

But perhaps the most elaborate and "X-Rated" art to adorn any aircraft was "The Dragon And His Tail" a Consolidated B-24 "Liberator" flown by the United States. It survived the war only to be destroyed for scrap. The artwork was restored on another "Liberator" of the same type many years later. I first saw a picture of it in one of my Dad's aviation magazines. :drool: It is, needless to say, quite popular over 70 years later at air shows. Wonder why? :innocent:

Pretty cool!:cool:

I love retro-glamour as you know, especially when it has a modern twist like these gorgeous ladies from "T-Girl Pin-Ups", Jonelle, Olivia, and Vaniity.:inlove::inlove::inlove:

I’m sure she’s saying “Don't untie me just yet, asshole…” :drool: :innocent:

“Rule 34” – "If it exists (or not), there’s porn of it." This doesn’t do anything for me. :turnoff: But hey, whatever, it’s all good… :lol:

Most “Prometheus's” are large, muscular, and have beards and body hair. This one however… Now if only he had long blonde hair and blue eyes, his oiled body stretched tightly, his cock, encased in a chastity device, straining to rise to its full 7", needing relief… :drool: :turnon:

They way she’s looking at the photographer: “Next time let Andy tie me up. You suck at bondage…” :lol:

Definitely me if that was Taylor Swift… :inlove: :innocent:

My wife. “Andy, you’ve posted how many pictures of Hayley Williams to the TLB "Divas" thread?” :blush:

Whatever. But I’m not sure I’d want to be known as “sudden” with women… :blush:

General Motors in the late 70’s maybe? So now I know how my mom and dad first met. :innocent:

This is from 1927! She’s cute. :heart: Wondering if she's anyone famous from that era? And that title does get right to the point… :respect:

A beautiful blonde going for a swim? And me wishing I could join her? What’s so “abnormal” about that? :inlove:

“Love Doctor.” Him? Well maybe it’s because he’s so tall, young, and handsome… (or maybe he has a 12” cock). :lol:

“Film Fun” from 1934. “A Winning Personality.” Yeah, and also a fantastic body and great legs… :drool:

Don’t think I could improve on a title like that. :respect:

Is the “mystery” how she’s able to survive in the vacuum of space? :confused:

Nice shot asshole. Not. My money’s on the guy with the knives… :cool:

God. Damn. Fuck. Wow. :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:

She’s thinking “Shit. Did it again... Must learn not to swipe right so soon. But he said he was 6'4" and had abs of steel.” :lol:

I hate it when they walk in on me like that when I’m with one of my students. :innocent:

Wow! Great post Andy!:respect:

I can't really remember any one movie that got me excited as a kid but I always loved seeing pretty women in costumes. It started with Beverly Sills:inlove::inlove::inlove:

"Batman" may have been the first time I got excited by seeing pretty ladies but I also remember seeing Beverly on "Carol Burnett" or the "Muppet Show" and really liking her. Later I found pictures of her in my parents record and magazine collection which quickly found their way under the mattress. Her Thais costume just blew my mind and I couldn't wait to get under the covers at night with such a temptress:inlove::inlove::inlove:

My dad found my stash and asked me if I liked seeing Beverly in her underwear. What could I say?:innocent:

Glad you liked it. Thanks. ;) But I discovered that, well, maybe someone else has been reading my posts on TLB. :blush:

Last night, after she got off her nursing shift, my wife and I were getting ready for bed and out of nowhere she mentions "Easter" coming up and the "Ten Commandments." We've never really talked about it before--at least not the way I did above... :(

Maybe for Easter I can talk her into role playing the "Golden Calf Sacrifice" scene or something... :innocent:

(I was asked if either of the "male" bondage scenarios were hot? In this case no, I mean yeah, but not for me. They are too "masculine." Charlton Heston is also a pretty big guy--like 6'3" or 4", and the other actor is John Derek who was known for his beautiful and much younger wives. Usuala Andress, Linda Evans, and Bo Derek. :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove: He should be my role model. :respect:)

Of course "modern opera" is quite different. :drool: These are scenes from a production of "Carmen." All I want to know is do they need a baritone? :innocent:

(That guy looks like he could use an understudy. All I'm doing is offering my services... ;))

Definitely marriage material… :inlove:

It’s not my fault. She’s the one who ordered the Calamari… :innocent:

Do I get a choice as to which comes first? :(

Admit it, you would have posted this one too… :lol:

Damn, that’s big! :respect:

It was uncomfortable as hell in that “snake costume” but I’ll have you know it was working. :drool:

Jesus, nobody's posted anything since I put this up last night (see above). Sorry. :( It was the "Beheaded and Castrated" one wasn't it? :blush: :lol::lol::lol:

(I did see however that my "Best. Prom. Date. Ever." and future wife has gotten several views so far. Gotta find out who she is... :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:)

Wow! How did I miss this post? That's really hot!:drool:

I love beautiful opera singers!

Well, keep them coming. :inlove: :respect:

I had no idea "Carmen" was so sexy. :drool: I always thought it was about "bullfighters" or something. We learned "Toreador" in 6th grade music class. Damn. :innocent:

From Wikipedia:

I don't know the whole story of "Carmen" other than she's a beautiful woman:inlove:

One of my early experiences was seeing these issues of "Opera News" come in the mail when I was a kid. As soon as I was sure my parents would not miss, they found their way under my mattress:innocent:

The diva on the cover is Hungarian singer Eva Marton. I thought she was just magnificent and would fantasize about her being a naughty baby sitter:inlove::inlove::inlove:

"Don't worry baby, it happens to every guy once in a while." :blush:

I see no problem here... :drool:

Yeah I can see that. So it's a date? :innocent:

No reason. Just a very beautiful girl. From the 20's or 30's. :inlove:

That's the last time we're using Uber. Fucking creeper. :(

From 1929. You know the "Ph.D." is the one who actually wrote this. No one else could come up with such "bullshit" without really saying anything at all. That takes "years" of "education" and "training."

"Dr." Andy says: I find it hilarious that we are still taught to write that way. Almost 100 years later. OMG! The phrase "in all probability." :lol::lol::lol:

Great post! I especially like the top middle one:inlove::inlove::inlove:

I remember as kid watching a local TV station this coming on one Saturday afternoon. There was no Frankenstein in the movie but that was okay. There was a werewolf and some vampires. The lady vampire, played by gorgeous actress Aurora De Alba, just blew my mind! Not only was she stunningly beautiful but the movie had a scene where she seduces her victim in what was just about the sexiest thing I had ever seen. Even today I fantasize about being her willing victim!:drool:

Since this is a “retro” thread I though it might be fun to look back 50 years… To 1969! Today is May 17, 2019. I tried to find things that happened in May for comparison. Does it bring back memories for anyone? Or if you weren’t around yet, what do you think of their world? Would you want to have lived back then?

Me, I’d really like the women, cars, and music. :drool: Some of the other stuff not so much. Computers and early “technology” would have sucked compared to now for example. No “smartphones.” No "wi-fi." No "Starbucks." No "Amazon." And no "4K Ultra HD" TV's. And I’m not into drugs. :(

Joni Mitchell :inlove: Although I’m from a totally different musical era, she is a legend. Have (older) friends that have met her. And I think she’s really cute as well.

Marlo Thomas :inlove: Very popular show of the time. But I have never seen it, not even in repeats. I can see there’s a reason they called it “That Girl.” However, my favorite “celeb crush” from the 60’s is Sharon Tate :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:. I think she’s one of the most beautiful women that has ever lived. I’d rank her right up there with my current favorites. And from all accounts I’ve read, a sweet person. We all know what happened that night. Wish I could have been there to stop it. But you already knew that. Have been working on a tribute to her that I’ll post later this summer in the “Divas” thread.

You mean I could’ve seen Led Zeppelin on this night (as an "added attraction" WTF?) for $2.50 USD. In Ohio? That's just a short drive from here. Awesome!

Of course I would have taken my date to see Led Zeppelin in this. A ’69 Chevelle SS 396. Dark green just like my uncle’s. This is pretty much the same car I learned to drive a “stick” in and took Stephanie for a ride in. His is not in as good of shape as this one but it’s mine one day.

Apollo 10. The “dress rehearsal” for the moon landing in July. They separated from the command module and descended to within 50,000 feet of the moon’s surface. The “moon lander” was called “Snoopy” after the dog. The launch date was May 18, 1969.

Nixon was President from 1969 until he resigned in 1974. The United States was deeply involved in the Vietnam War in 1969. This is a clip of Nixon from May 14 addressing the nation. There’s also a clip of Nixon on “Laugh In” saying “Sock It To Me” (a phrase of the time, sort of like “groovy”). Go find it on YouTube. :innocent:

She’s really cute. :inlove: Very short swimsuit for whatever year this is. Did a search and turned up empty handed. Anyone that good looking would have been a movie star or something. Wonder if it’s fake? :(

Assholes! Why the hell are you shooting at the polar bears? Fuck. That looks like ila taking his revenge. I’m with ila and his friends on this one. Go get ‘em! :respect:

Looks like he’s putting out his cigarette on her ass. :lol: And a nice ass it is too. :drool:

Miley, Hayley, Dove, and Taylor. Who else? :inlove: The shocked look on my face is because my wife just walked in on us. :innocent:

“I know he’s too old for me and not much to look at Daddy but he can stay hard longer than any other guy I’ve dated.” :eek:

From 1925. “For Artists and Art Students.” Riiiiight. By the way, excuse me for a minute while I go study... :blush:

"Saucy" retro postcards. Looks like 50's through 70's maybe? :drool: :innocent::lol:

My Babysitters, Nancy and Sasha
 

Just before we moved back to Michigan, my mom and dad went into Manhattan to celebrate something. I don’t remember what it was but they had to get a babysitter for me.

There was one babysitter, Nancy, that I really liked. She was a cheerleader and played volleyball at the local high-school. With me being in first grade, there wasn’t anything that was going to happen between us but still she was really cute. And a young woman. Not like the girls in my class. But also NOT like my mom either.

Nancy was always really nice to me and I think she knew I had a “crush” on her. :inlove: She used to call me her “boyfriend.” And always let me stay up late and watch TV and stuff. She was tall and blonde, and to a six year old probably looked like a movie star. I was always well behaved for Nancy. One ‘cause I really liked her. Two, she probably could’ve beaten the crap out of me.

Her real boyfriend, Joe, was the Quarterback for the high-school football team. But even at six I was beginning to grow. He must have noticed my athletic ability even then because he often played catch with me. Teaching me about the game. Showing me plays. Explaining what each player did. And telling me what it was really like on the field. He knew how to tackle and block as well and let me practice on him. He always took it easy on me but one time he knocked me down really hard. I got back up and charged at him. He laughed and said “That was pretty good Andy. When you get bigger you’re gonna put someone on their ass. I hope I never have to play against you.”

My parents and I went to his games. He ended up playing for a college in the East. I followed his career as I got older. Of course I also got to see Nancy at all the games so it was awesome. I credit both of them for helping me get started in life. Not just sports. They were great friends and role models for a little kid.

Unfortunately, Nancy was busy this Saturday night… Damn!

My mom and dad didn’t know what to do. They thought I was too young to stay alone. So they told me they would get “Mrs. Woody” (yes, that was really her name :lol:) from next door to babysit me.

“Mrs. Woody” was mean and like 70 years old. She would always yell at us whenever we played baseball or football in our yard. And she hated it when we would ride our bikes and play music.

“No way!” I screamed. “I want Nancy!”

I don’t think my dad liked “Mrs. Woody” either so he said “Honey, can’t you find someone else?”

My mom tried calling around but the only person she could find was “Sasha.” He was also in high-school and was considered “different” by the other kids. I had seen him in a musical once with Nancy. He was very good looking with long hair but more in the way that Nancy was. I had met him before and he seemed like a nice guy. I didn’t like that other kids sometimes made fun of him.

Anyway “Sasha” became my babysitter for that night. He was really cool and we watched movies together. I was amazed that he knew so much. He was really smart too and we talked about all kinds of things. One of the movies was an old black and white horror movie and of course the girl ends up getting captured by the “evil scientist” or whatever and tied up.

Sasha must have noticed that I was really interested in this scene. Also I’m sure he noticed something else too. But no, this story isn’t going there. Besides, really, nothing ever happened.

Afterward he asked me if I liked the movie. I felt I could be open with him for some reason so I told him I really liked the part where the girl was tied up adding that I was glad she was rescued at the end.

It was still a couple hours before my parents were expected home. I asked Sasha if he had ever tied a girl up. He said no but he often wished he could be tied up. Once in rehearsal he got tied up too tightly and they had to find a knife or scissors to free him. It took a while. He said that it was exciting to be helpless and wondered if he would ever escape.

We both laughed. There was a pause. I looked in his eyes. They were really blue. Kind of like Nancy’s. And he was a lot smaller than her boyfriend, Joe.

I don’t know why but suddenly I asked him if I could tie him up. I wasn’t really thinking. Sasha giggled and said “Sure. But you better untie me before your mom and dad get back!”

Gathering rope from our garage, I did my best to tie Sasha to a chair in the kitchen. He pretended to be a “damsel in distress” and struggled and pleaded with me not to “torture” him. It gave me a funny feeling all over (but a good one… :drool:) and my little dick swelled. Kind of like when I saw girls tied up on TV or around Nancy.

We had just gotten started when we heard my dad’s car coming into the driveway. “Oh Shit!” Sasha said without thinking. I knew that was a bad word but already knew all of them anyway so I just giggled.

“Better untie me Andy.”

I quickly untied Sasha and we put the rope away and made sure everything was exactly like it was. We both knew what we did was sort of “naughty” but like I said nothing happened. My mom and dad came in through the garage into the house then up to the living room and saw us watching TV together. I was snuggled up against Sasha.

“Awww… isn’t that cute!” my mom said. “Did you two have a good time?”

“Yeah mom. Sasha was awesome” I said smiling at him.

Later that year my dad was transferred back to Michigan. I never saw any of them again. I think of Nancy and Sasha a lot even today. They would be about 11 or 12 years older than me. I’m glad they were a part of my life. I did follow Nancy’s boyfriend Joe in college. He was pretty good although never played in the NFL. I credit him for teaching me the game. I’ve often wondered if he ever saw me play years later.

(This is a true story. That's old our house in New Jersey. Bergen County. Jen would know where it was. My dad worked in NYC. I've posted this story here because of the early experiences. I’ve changed the names of course. Except for “Mrs. Woody.” :lol: I look back on my friendships with “Nancy” and “Sasha” and realize they both played an important role in my development as a person. :heart: :respect:)

Great story! I enjoyed reading it:cool:

Wow! She's hot!:drool:

I remember beating off to the original G.L.O.W. :lol:

“Bondage” in movies has been a popular theme since, well, forever!

“I want to be a… dentist!” :drool:

Everyone wants to be Superman. :respect:

My wife and I call this “foreplay.” :blush:

She looks pissed because he did a shitty job of tying her up. “Next time let Andy do it.” ;)

Wonder if I can find this on Netflix? Really cute girl, intriguing scenario, (they could've done a better job with the gag) and I couldn’t help but noticing how the left side of her top was pulled down. No censors back then. :inlove:

Bad bondage. :( Guy must have tied himself up. Just one rope? And why aren’t her wrists secured? (well, I do have an idea... but could they show that? :innocent:) Still, it looks like he might be somewhat “aroused” by this anyway. :lol:

“You wish Grandpa… and what’s up with the teddy bear? Fucking pervert.” :lol:

From the 70’s maybe? :inlove: Just needs someone who knows how to tie her up. ;)

The blonde just doesn’t get it. He doesn’t want her to stop! :drool:

Yeah. Of course I’d “swipe right” on her. :innocent:

From the “sleazy” 60’s. Damn! The blonde in the green dress. :inlove: Now if we can just get rid of the asshole… :(

Good dog!!! I trained him well… :respect:

Today is actually my birthday, so to celebrate I thought I’d choose my “top 5 celebrity crushes” who were popular before I was born. The 60’s and 70’s are well represented, and so is the early 80’s. :drool:

They are: Françoise Hardy, Sharon Tate, Farrah, Loni Anderson, and Heather Thomas. :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:

Heather Thomas is a special case. While “Fall Guy” began before I was around, her career lasted well into the 80’s and even early 90’s. In fact, my dad took me to something when I was about 6 or 7 and I got to meet her. Still have the autographed picture (posted somewhere on here) to “Andy.” She was really sweet and spent a lot of time talking with me. Wonder what she’s doing now? I am sure I said something dumb like asked her to marry me. :blush: And I think my dad liked meeting her as well. Hell, I don’t blame him. :lol:

Have always wondered what my mom thought of it? Guess that’s the reason my dad slept in the garage that night… :innocent:

It’s Been 20 Years?
 

This post on my WordPress site has been getting a lot of attention lately. Not a "sex" story but more about my own experiences back around the turn of the milennium. Thought some other members might have similar memories and enjoy it:

"It’s Been 20 Years?"

andy9127z.home.blog/2019/08/29/its-been-20-years/

Wow! Very nice!:inlove::inlove::inlove:

Seeing how these are kind of "retro" I figured I'd post them here. I don't know if these are real or not but I love the cover illustrations, especially the "BacK Alley Queen":drool:

I like them. :respect: Think I'm in love with the last one. :drool::inlove::innocent:

Susan Anton. :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove: A promising star of the late 70’s. She was a country singer, had a TV variety show, and also starred in the movie “Goldengirl” in 1979. I have seen this movie on TV as a kid.

***Major Crush Alert*** Of course she’s my “type.” I’d say “perfect.” Supposedly 6’2” and trained to be a “super athlete” that would take home the Gold at the 1980 Moscow Olympics (which the USA eventually pulled out of in protest—look it up) she begins to “break down” from the overly rigorous and abusive training regimen and rebels against it or something—I can’t remember. Allegedly her “dad” was a “doctor” and “neo-nazi” (would they even allow this today?).

Looking at her pictures this afternoon, over forty years later, I decided all she really needed was a 6’4” former college football player boyfriend… :drool: :innocent:

Susan was born in 1950 so she was actually 28 or 29. She’s about the same age as my mom in reality. Yes it really was 40 years ago. :( So what does that make Loni Anderson? Born in 1946.

Who cares!!! :lol: Just get me a fucking time machine…

“Watson! What do you mean you ‘came quickly’?” :lol:

Baby I’ll blow out the fuse then we’ll have some real fun. :drool:

More “bad bondage.” Guess I’ll have to step in once again. :innocent:

Shit. When he said he liked to cosplay as “Thor” I thought he meant Chris Hemsworth. :eek:

“Women want him. Men want to be him.” But for chrissakes get rid of the flippers. :(

“War Maid of Mars.” Sure, whatever you say. I’ll pick you up at 8. :inlove:

Sex sells… Alchohol. :drool:

Actually my eyes are brown… And my name is not “Smithers.” But we were both so drunk who cared? :innocent:

I see a bottle of Seagram’s, a very old can of 7UP, my mom’s tennis racket, and legs to die for. :drool:

Never heard of “Echo Spring” before but looks like fun. Gotta be early to mid 1970’s. BTW the blonde on the left is mine. :inlove:

Very early Jose Cuervo tequila ad. 1950’s early 60's? The artwork is beautiful. Wonder if she is anybody famous? :inlove:

Another sexy tequila ad. Wild? Suggestive? :blush: From the 70’s or even 80's maybe? But I bet you will always remember “two fingers.” ;)

This shit’ll kill ya. I think it really has in the past. :( I’ve only had it once. Very potent. Also a cool green color. If you have a guest who knows how to serve it it’s even better. We did… :respect:

This belongs in the “retro” thread because… it’s from 1981! This is Heather Thomas :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove: of “The Fall Guy” which ran until 1985 or ‘86. I have only seen the show in repeats but elsewhere on this site I have told the story of how I got to meet her years later as a little kid. I must have been 6 or 7 at the most and went with my dad to something. I still have the autographed picture. I’m sure I was a little shit but I remember her as being really sweet and talking with me. My dad thought she was pretty awesome (of course he did). I would have liked to have had her as my babysitter. But no luck. :(

Anyway, I think Heather is gorgeous, one of the most beautiful women of all time, and easily ranks with any of my “current” celebrity crushes (as in the ones I “totally have it bad for”). They would include Dove Cameron, Hayley Williams, and Taylor Swift. No kidding… All of whom are younger than me. Hayley and my wife are about the same age.

My biggest "crushes" who were around before I was would include, Heather (of course), Loni Anderson, Farrah, Francoise Hardy, and Sharon Tate. Of these five, the only one younger than my mom and dad would be Heather. I know because I checked. Susan Anton (a few posts above also should be on that list). She is maybe a year younger than my mom. So would I date someone my parent's age? Fuck yes. :drool: If I wasn't married of course. :innocent:

Curiously, I own this poster. I helped a friend’s mom get set up on something called “eBay” which was new at the time (showing my age now…). He was also into “retro” stuff and knew I had met her. So this poster being “rare” (the pink bikini is the “famous” one) he decided to get it for me. I have a lot of sports collectibles and keep it with that stuff. It is rolled up and in perfect condition.

(Just noticed it's signed "Jody." That's because she played stuntwoman Jody Banks on "Fall Guy." That is a very old GMC pickup--the kind with the exploding gas tank I think--this was worse than the infamous "Pinto." :( They had several "jump trucks" for stunts and then "show" trucks like this one.)

Here's three more of Heather...

"Zapped." Don't know if this was in theatres or straight to video. I do know it was before I was around. She played a cheerleader. First watched this movie at a friend's house not too long after I got to meet her. Ever wonder why I chose to play football at such a young age? :drool:

In the movie (a spoof of "Carrie") she also was voted prom queen. Like who would her competition be anyway? :confused: Moderators: She's actually 24 or 25. Wish she had gone to my high school. :inlove:

From "Fall Guy." They go undercover to infiltrate a "biker gang" or something. She was also in a movie about a "high tech" (for back then) motorcycle called "Cyclone." I have seen it but not for a long time. Think it's from the late 80's or early 90's. Don't know if she really can ride. Maybe if it warms up here we could get the Harley out. I don't think my wife would mind... :innocent:

More “retro” stuff…

Didn’t realize all my “ex’s” had moved in together when they invited me “over for coffee.” :eek:

She saved the best part of the sacrificial statue for herself. :innocent:

“Weird Tales” was published almost 100 years ago. Still has a following today. Wonder why? :inlove:

“Bad Bondage” strikes again. :lol: Just gotta get rid of your hopeless loser boyfriend rolling around on the floor then that creepy “snake guy thing” and we’ll have a great time. :drool:

I’ve have had more than a few dates end badly. This is the first time one ever pulled a .45 and climbed out the window. :(

Yes. He really IS way too old for you Dove. You should date me instead if you wanna go out with an “older guy.” :blush: :inlove:

Sex Sells... At Christmas? :drool:

Segrams scores again. :respect: Think she might be my friend from the "tennis" ad earlier. I'd spend Christmas with her. :inlove:

From 1946. Sex sells... "roller bearings"? :confused: Kinda looks like some sort of "cock ring" to me. :innocent:

She's saying "A fucking vacuum cleaner! He got me a fucking vacuum cleaner." Now she'll wait 'till he's asleep then hook it up to his dick. :(

Look at Santa drooling... :lol: He knows she's been a naughty girl. Younger members: That's a phone she's using, not some sort of hair dryer. :eek:

Sorry sweetie, this Santa is into "autoerotic asphyxiation." He was watching you as you slept... and slipped. He's still alive. Better cut him down. :blush:

Naughty Santa. :drool: Ask me if I love my work? Actually that's "Mrs. Claus." Or else Santa will be a dead man.

So my latest “future wife” is… Forty years older than me??? :innocent: As many of you know I workout in the middle of the night at a gym just down the street. I like it because I get the place to myself and I’m kind of a “night person” anyway. They have several flat screen TV’s that play CNN, ESPN, old TV shows, and “infomercials” constantly. Usually don’t pay any attention. :(

But last night there was some kind of “Western” on (Unless it’s Clint Eastwood, I typically don’t watch “cowboy” stuff. I’m definitely a “City Boy” anyway. :lol:). Looked like it was from the 50’s or 60’s. Didn’t really care about it except that there was the most totally gorgeous girl. :drool: Unlike many actresses of the period, she had a very modern look and I thought she was beautiful. She was wearing a flannel shirt and jeans. Old Levi’s maybe? Definitely Love at first sight. :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:

Very surprised I didn’t know who she was. Thought of all my “retro” favorites and couldn’t come up with a match. Finally they mentioned her character’s name: Maybelle. That was all I needed. Did a search on my phone and discovered it was “The Big Valley” Christmas episode from 1965. The actress’s name was Lynn Loring.

Research was required. Today I learned Lynn had starred on one of the earliest “soap operas” at 7, graduated from high school in 1961, played Efrem Zimbalist Jr.’s daughter on “The FBI” (I have heard of this series), appeared in numerous TV shows and movies (including “The Man From U.N.C.L.E.” and “Journey to the Far Side of the Sun”), and later became a producer, eventually becoming president of MGM/UA Television Productions in the 1980’s. :respect:

It’s good to be “007.” :respect: In what other movies does the hero get to sleep with so many different women? :drool:

There’s been a James Bond film festival on today. Not getting much work done. Just got done watching “Goldfinger” (1964). Bond’s main “love interest” was the infamous “Pussy Galore” (Honor Blackman :inlove:) but perhaps the most iconic image from the movie was Shirley Eaton as the girl who is killed by gold paint. :(

Shirley was born in 1937, in Edgware, Middlesex, England. She is still alive and was featured on the cover of “Life” magazine right after the movie was released. She is without a doubt my favorite of the “Bond Girls.” :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:

(Have never made love to a woman covered in gold paint. Tried to talk my wife into doing this. She went out to our garage and came back with a can of gold spray paint. Shit. That stuff is really hard to get off… Especially from my hair. :innocent:)

Not really “retro.” It’s from 2011. But damn. I finally know what I’m gonna do when I retire. :drool: BTW Mrs. Claus looks pissed. :(

Me in Kindergarten. I’m saying “Fuck yeah! An awesome Santa! I want an ’87 Buick Grand National GNX, a Compaq 386 Deskpro, a .357 Magnum, a case of Jack Daniels, and a subscription to Playboy. Miss Williams, what would you like for Christmas, baby?” The teacher is saying “Andy! Get your hand off my knee. Now.” :innocent:

Not sexual, but a very cool idea. The beginning of “the 60’s.” Wish I’d thought of a “tech tree” for my office. :respect:

From 1928. “Peeping Tom” Santa gets his ass busted. :lol:

I’d spend Christmas with Karen. Very pretty. From 1953. Wondered if she was a movie star of the time? :inlove:

Allegedly one of the “worst movies ever made.” Anyone ever see it? :confused:

From Russia With Love. :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:

The 80’s… What do you remember of it? Reagan? Cocaine? MTV? Heavy Metal? Pac-Man? The Terminator? Aerobics? Spandex? Leg Warmers? :innocent:

Well the last three are back!!! :drool: This is Anjelica Scannura who hosts a show called “22 Minute Workout” on OneTV.

According to the article, Scannura, who also hosts Anjelica’s Dance Workout, has always made fitness a priority. She started dancing professionally at age five, took Irish dancing for years and is part of her family’s flamenco dance ensemble — her mom even appears on her new show. She also won the Belly Dancer of the Universe competition in 2013.

“I wanted to make it modernized and more inclusive of people of all kinds. Those ’80s fitness shows only had one kind of person. And while I really admired the esthetic of that era, the update was much called for.” :respect:

“Recently I got injured,” she says. “OK, my injuries started when I was 18 years old, but when you’re that age, you think you’re invincible. Then all of a sudden you’re frickin’ 28 years old and you can’t get up in the morning without everything cracking.” (Me: Just wait a few more years… :()

“Throughout the show you see that I’m not living off of green smoothies all friggin’ day. Sometimes I have a bad night, I drink a beer, I have five A&W hamburgers. What are you going to do?”

Sounds like a date. :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:

Friday is Valentine's Day! :heart:

Here's a few "hate" Valentines from long ago. Didn't know people back then could be so nasty. Telling someone to "hang yourself." Tsk... :(

I like the "lemon" one. From 1900 supposedly. My "favorite" however is the "Jackass" one. Of course it is. :lol::lol::lol:

Another thread suggested "all porn should be in English" or words to that effect. Umm... no. Doesn't have to be. Sex has a language all it's own. :innocent:

As evidence consider the picture in my post above... Here's how I interpret it: I have accepted an opportunity to guest lecture on data analysis at a university in Moscow for a semester. Running late for class, I am "distracted" by the beautiful woman cleaning the floor as she says "Здравствуйте" to me.

She smiles knowingly as I trip over her bucket. My Russian is pretty poor, her English is just as bad.

I think we are "communicating" just fine. I'm sure back at her apartment later that evening everything will take care of itself. :inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove::inlove:

And how do you know she's not trans? I like to imagine that while making out later I discover she has a perfect 7" cock... :drool:

(But I would never wear a yellow shirt with brown slacks. And those shoes! :blush: :lol:)

Retro Covers – “Future Wife” Edition
 

Can ride a motorcycle while shooting at someone with a .45. Marriage material! :drool:

She was getting ready for our date then realized she was supposed to meet me downtown. :innocent:

Looks kind of like Zionsville. :(

“Dame Tu Cosita!” :lol::lol::lol:

The girl is really cute. But what caught my attention is that is a human body in a block of ice. He’s pulling it down as if it were nothing. Some serious strength. :respect:

Fuck yes!!! Definitely my “future wife.” :inlove:

He’s saying to her “So, what are you doing next Friday…” ;)

Would go see these guys. Don’t know who they are but great poster. :drool:

Wife material? Maybe. Crazy girlfriend for sure… :inlove:

Educational reading… :innocent:

She’s saying “Shit… That’s the last fucking time I’m swiping right on somebody!” :(

And I can get this on Netflix? :cool:

This has been a slow day. So here goes. Some longer alternative descriptions for the pics above… :innocent:

The first one: “Fuck, Andy… Don’t look so surprised. You know I was a Navy Seal. This is nothing…” :inlove: :respect:

The second: We were planning a romantic weekend. :inlove: And lots of wild sex and bondage. :drool: But she forgot when I kissed her goodbye this morning that I had to drive to Chicago to meet a client. Before she tied herself up, she put her soft cock into a surgical steel chastity device with a urethral plug that I designed myself… A very snug fit, this one also has a “ball vice” that uses a ratchet mechanism which tightens ever so slowly if she tries to remove it or plays with herself in any way… And only I have the key. ;) Her cock fully hard is just over 7” and the plug is beginning to drive her wild. It’s only been like 10 minutes and already she needs to cum SO badly… But it won’t be much longer. I should be home tomorrow night. Unless, of course, I have to stay until Saturday… :turnon:

The third: Couldn’t help this one… She’s saying “Andy, you are a lot smaller than I had imagined.” :(

And finally: “Damn that Andy, he talked me into going to this stupid Dame Tu Cosita Dance Challenge. Fuck. Can’t tell anyone apart in these dumb green alien costumes. Shit, I hope that was him who sucked my cock back there…” :confused:

Sex sells… Everything!!! :drool:

Don’t know exactly what this ad was for. Flowers? To give to your secretary maybe? But it must be from perhaps the 1940’s given the old dial phone and number (count the digits). I’ve never even seen a number like this before. But she is super hot. :inlove: Wonder how they allowed this back then? Christ, she could be my great-grandmother. :innocent:

I see a… bowling ball? Again don’t know what this was about. And frankly don’t care. Think it’s maybe for shoe polish? Never got past my “future wife” :inlove: (from 60 years ago?) but yeah, sure I’d go bowling with her.

This one is for an Optometrist. Had my “eye exam” recently. My doctor showed me this pic and asked me “what I saw” I replied: “a billion dollars, a new Ferrari, and a 12” cock.” There’s really no other way to explain it actually… :lol:

Cigarettes were a big deal until they realized they killed people… :( During the 50’s and 60’s especially. Shit, even Virginia Slims and “Joe Camel” ads carried on into my own lifetime. There was a real backlash against smoking with people my age. In 1992, we were given “Say NO to Cancer Joe” buttons in school. Still have mine. Will have to post it. She looks like the girl from Thunderball. :inlove: The look on her face. She is NOT impressed... I hope she’s saying “Fuck off, asshole.”

It took me a while to notice that she was selling stereo speakers. Would love to have something like the largest one hooked up to my computer. I would play "classic" Slayer at full blast. Maybe she could help me set them up? The only problem is my neighbors will call the cops and my wife will file for divorce… :(

From 1970. Fifty years ago now. Kinda sexist if you ask me. All the women are kneeling and appear submissive. I believe the text that accompanied this said it ran in "Playboy." Wouldn’t work today. :respect: Besides, who would wear pants made out of Acrylic? Shit, better not smoke wearing these. You could become "the human torch." “Dynamite” is right. :eek:

Very nice!

You know, I used to love these magazines but all it took was me seeing Gia Darling:inlove::inlove::inlove: for the first time and- BAM- I never looked at a titty mag again, not after seeing Gia and her sexy friends...:drool:

Sex sells… Computers! :drool:

Looks like the late 60’s, very early 70’s? I never would have gotten any work done… :innocent:

Dude! No wonder you are still a virgin at 35 and live with your parents. Christ. Quit playing the goddamn game and fuck her already! :lol:

From the looks of the computer, I can tell this is well within my lifetime. The 90’s probably. So my “future wife” is really not that much older than me… :inlove:

You can tell he wants to fuck her. But she’s thinking “Shit. Bad haircut and he’s probably got a small penis…” :(

Mom: “Andy! Why is your door locked?” Me: “I’m busy Mom, go away!” :blush:

This one is much more recent. They definitely are not practicing “social distancing.” :eek: