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  #1  
Old 05-07-2010
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Default Marriage

There have been other threads dealing with the type of relationship that men would like with transwomen. Those threads have been rather broad based. This one is specifically about marriage. For those that live where marriage to transwomen is not legal then substitute long term relationship for marriage.

I would like to get responses from both men and genetic women on whether or not you want to marry a transwoman. I would also like to hear from the trans ladies of the site. Do you want to get married or not?


As for myself more than anything I want to marry a transwoman. I?ve known it and felt it for a long time. I?ll be happier than I ever have been in my life when I do marry a transwoman or at the very least live together with a transwoman. I prefer marriage as it affords her a lot of legal protections.
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Old 05-07-2010
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Tomorrow my partner & I are off to a wedding of two friends
who have been an item for 10 years.
[S. had SRS, 8 years ago & FFS 4 years ago]

So yes this does happen.
In the uk where if you fulfil certain criteria,
You can obtain a GRC gender recognition certificate.
you are able to alter your birth certificate, along with all other documents.
You can then marry a partner who is opposite your adopted gender.

Paradoxically, a GRC will not be granted if you are currently married to a person of the opposite to your birth sex,
as this would be legally same sex marriage for a couple where one partner has obtained a GRC.
Hopefully this anomaly will alter with the incoming government,
then gay male marriages & lesbian marriages will be allowed.


The important thing for any trans
Pre, non or post op
is that the trans background is secondary & incidental
to the main reasons a person wants a long term relationship,,,
That you want to be with the person.

We all want to be loved. ;-)

Last edited by JodieTs; 05-07-2010 at 07:32 PM.
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  #3  
Old 05-08-2010
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I would LOVE to marry a TS. It's been one of my dreams for a long time, i would be so happy...
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  #4  
Old 05-09-2010
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It would be nice but seems very unlikely now.
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Old 05-09-2010
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I am very proud to live in Massachusetts, the first place in the United States where gender was eliminated as an issue in determining whether you can be legally married. If any of our members in other states want to come here and get married (even though it may not be recognized when you get back home), I will gladly throw you a party!
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Old 05-10-2010
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you can marry it legal everywhere unless you tell the person one of u is transexual.... they dont know unless u tell them
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Old 05-10-2010
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Originally Posted by merelypink View Post
you can marry it legal everywhere unless you tell the person one of u is transexual.... they dont know unless u tell them
Well, I can now add lawyer to the list of things I know MerelyPink is not.
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Old 05-10-2010
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California lets you change the gender on your Birth Certificate. I know because mine said "Female" for the longest time. Apparently, having a pecker and a masculine body wasn't convincing enough for the nurse and doctor who were helping delivering me. Either that or they were idiots.
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Old 05-10-2010
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I just celebrated my seventh wedding anniversary. We've been together for ten years. Personally, I can't imagine not being married. I really hate the dating game and all the awkwardness that that entails.
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Old 05-10-2010
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Originally Posted by GRH View Post
I just celebrated my seventh wedding anniversary. We've been together for ten years. Personally, I can't imagine not being married. I really hate the dating game and all the awkwardness that that entails.
Lucky you!
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Old 05-11-2010
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Originally Posted by smc View Post
Well, I can now add lawyer to the list of things I know MerelyPink is not.
How true! I can just imagine the legal ramifications of attempting to get a marriage certificate through subterfuge and then getting caught.

I just hope for the day that marriage is legal no matter what. As long as they are both consenting adults, why should it be anyone elses concern?
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Old 05-11-2010
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Originally Posted by GRH View Post
I just celebrated my seventh wedding anniversary. We've been together for ten years. Personally, I can't imagine not being married. I really hate the dating game and all the awkwardness that that entails.
I am sincerely happy for you. Love is a wonderful thing.
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  #13  
Old 05-11-2010
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Originally Posted by GRH View Post
I just celebrated my seventh wedding anniversary. We've been together for ten years. Personally, I can't imagine not being married. I really hate the dating game and all the awkwardness that that entails.
Congratulations, and best wishes for all the happiness in the world.
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  #14  
Old 05-11-2010
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Originally Posted by shadows View Post
How true! I can just imagine the legal ramifications of attempting to get a marriage certificate through subterfuge and then getting caught.

I just hope for the day that marriage is legal no matter what. As long as they are both consenting adults, why should it be anyone elses concern?
You can get "same sex" marriages in the US, it's just that the marriages are not recognized by the Fed and certain states. There are gay people here in SD that get married all the time. The big thing people really want are the tax breaks and other benefits that come from being "married", which brings up the next question of why the Fed has a say in who can get married.

But yes, trying to pull one over on Uncle Sam can lead to some very harsh jail time and or fines.

Yes shadows, I completely agree with what you said. All marriage is is a social contract between two consenting adults and when the issue ever gets to the SCOTUS, hopefully they will look at it the same way.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_of_Marriage_Act <-----This= Unconstitutional. Fuck you Bill Clinton!
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  #15  
Old 05-12-2010
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Originally Posted by TheAngryPostman View Post
You can get "same sex" marriages in the US, it's just that the marriages are not recognized by the Fed and certain states. There are gay people here in SD that get married all the time. The big thing people really want are the tax breaks and other benefits that come from being "married", which brings up the next question of why the Fed has a say in who can get married.

But yes, trying to pull one over on Uncle Sam can lead to some very harsh jail time and or fines.

Yes shadows, I completely agree with what you said. All marriage is is a social contract between two consenting adults and when the issue ever gets to the SCOTUS, hopefully they will look at it the same way.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Defense_of_Marriage_Act <-----This= Unconstitutional. Fuck you Bill Clinton!
Thanks for the information, Postman.
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  #16  
Old 05-12-2010
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Default white-wash

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Originally Posted by smc View Post
Well, I can now add lawyer to the list of things I know MerelyPink is not.
never wear fresh whitewash in the rain. It's to easy to see thru.

I get the message but does Pink get the message?
I wonder if this saga will ever end.
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  #17  
Old 05-12-2010
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I`d like to that`s for sure
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  #18  
Old 05-13-2010
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Originally Posted by franalexes View Post
never wear fresh whitewash in the rain. It's to easy to see thru.

I get the message but does Pink get the message?
I wonder if this saga will ever end.
Considering how MP "fires and forgets" on every single post, that is highly unlikely.
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  #19  
Old 05-13-2010
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Marriage, no way! I don't care if she's a tgirl or a ggirl, I doubt she'd be able to put up with me for longer than six months.
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  #20  
Old 05-13-2010
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Considering how MP "fires and forgets" on every single post, that is highly unlikely.
Having MerelyPink get the message is not my point at all.
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  #21  
Old 05-13-2010
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Originally Posted by TheAngryPostman View Post
You can get "same sex" marriages in the US, it's just that the marriages are not recognized by the Fed and certain states. There are gay people here in SD that get married all the time. The big thing people really want are the tax breaks and other benefits that come from being "married", which brings up the next question of why the Fed has a say in who can get married. ........
Same sex marriage is legal in Canada as well as several other countries. If a man, in Canada, marries a transwoman it is considered a same sex marriage. It's the same if a woman marries a transman. I look forward to the day when such marriages are not looked upon as same sex marriages, mainly so that it will give the dignity of recognizing that the trans partner in a marriage is really the gender that he or she identifies as.
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  #22  
Old 05-16-2010
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I would love to have a transsexual woman as my wife and the shockwave such a marriage would undoubtedly cause among my friends (not so much my direct family) could not prevent me from fulfilling my dream.
I often fantasise about such a marriage and even see myself on my knees proposing to the girl I love and adore.

But I guess it will always remain a dream. It's hard enough finding a pre-op girl who's interested in women.

Diana
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  #23  
Old 05-16-2010
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But I guess it will always remain a dream. It's hard enough finding a pre-op girl who's interested in women.
My man found one.

He recommends interacting on trans message boards like this one,
find someone you are attracted to. Interact on the boards
find if there are areas of common interest.
Avoid sex in conversations.
And if you click, meet as friends.
Then if you both feel there is more there, talk & suggest a date.
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  #24  
Old 05-26-2010
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I came across a survey conducted among transsexual women on the option of freezing sperm before transitioning. This particular part of the outcome really left me stunned.

Quote:
Of 120 women answering the question concerning their sexual orientation, 22 considered themselves to be asexual, 30 heterosexual (being attracted to men), 34 lesbian (being attracted to women) and 34 bisexual. This strongly correlates with the answers to the question on present partnership: 67 of the respondents had no partner, 39 lived together with a woman (of whom 10 were transsexual women) and only 14 with a man (one of whom being a transsexual man).
So, where on earth are all the lesbians hiding?

Should anyone be interested, the survey can be found here:
HTML Code:
http://www.iiav.nl/ezines/web/IJT/97-03/numbers/symposion/ijtvo06no03_02.htm
Diana
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  #25  
Old 07-22-2010
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I would marry a trans woman. Hopefully an Asian ladyboy.
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  #26  
Old 07-22-2010
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Originally Posted by GGadmirer View Post
So, where on earth are all the lesbians hiding?
In my city.
We all go to each other's weddings.
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  #27  
Old 07-22-2010
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Originally Posted by JodieTs View Post
You can obtain a GRC gender recognition certificate.
you are able to alter your birth certificate, along with all other documents.
You can then marry a partner who is opposite your adopted gender.

Paradoxically, a GRC will not be granted if you are currently married to a person of the opposite to your birth sex,
as this would be legally same sex marriage for a couple where one partner has obtained a GRC.
Hopefully this anomaly will alter with the incoming government,
then gay male marriages & lesbian marriages will be allowed.
Gay marriage is going to now happen in the UK, within the next 4 years:
www.telegraph.co.uk/Gay couples right to marry
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Old 07-22-2010
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I'm going to be honest. I love tgirls as much as I love women. To me, there's not much that seperates them. But, it all comes down to me wanting to have the traditional family. Having children the old fashioned way. I can't have that with a tgirl, so I'll simply never go out of my way to find a tgirl to marry.

However, I've never loved a tgirl. I've never really had much experience with them. If I did happen to fall in love with one, the answer may be different.
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Old 07-22-2010
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Originally Posted by Hypo_Dude View Post
I'm going to be honest. I love tgirls as much as I love women. To me, there's not much that seperates them. But, it all comes down to me wanting to have the traditional family. Having children the old fashioned way. I can't have that with a tgirl, so I'll simply never go out of my way to find a tgirl to marry.

However, I've never loved a tgirl. I've never really had much experience with them. If I did happen to fall in love with one, the answer may be different.
Are you suggesting that transwomen aren't women? Surely you realize that transwomen are female and therefore women.

It is possible to have a family while married to a transwoman. Adopt children and you will be able to have your family.
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  #30  
Old 07-23-2010
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Hypo_Dude has a reasonable point:
He wants to pass on his genes with a partner....
& with a trans that is just not possible.

If that drive is core to a persons desired relationship,
then Hypo_Dude makes a sensible pre-emptive decision.
Why invest time & emotions in a partner
who is physically unable to ever fulfil that thing.

It's not disrespectful to any trans
nor should we take it to be so.
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  #31  
Old 07-23-2010
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Cheers Jodie, that's exactly what I meant. I want children who are biologically related from me. It's absolutely nothing personal.

ila, what I was getting at was that I don't want to adopt. I wasn't disrespecting or trying to suggest that transwomen aren't women. Sorry if it came across that way.
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  #32  
Old 07-23-2010
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Cheers Jodie, that's exactly what I meant. I want children who are biologically related from me. It's absolutely nothing personal.

ila, what I was getting at was that I don't want to adopt. I wasn't disrespecting or trying to suggest that transwomen aren't women. Sorry if it came across that way.
No problem. I understand now what you are saying.
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  #33  
Old 07-23-2010
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I want to get married one day.

It's a simple statement that causes so many problems , especially in the bible belt.
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  #34  
Old 07-23-2010
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I want to get married one day.

It's a simple statement that causes so many problems , especially in the bible belt.
Move out and you will find the bountiful blessings that come in the form of trannies.
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  #35  
Old 07-23-2010
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Default Love Transcends

JodieTs has hit the nail on the head, at least for me. Falling in love is all about discovery and accepting the other person for what they are to a point where perhaps previous biases and prejudices become totally irrelevant. But the process is not especially about sexual discovery - it is about discovering the person. And JodierTs is right, the way to allow love to unfold in your heart is sometimes best achieved by laying aside physical urges for a while so as to get to know and appreciate the person you are with.

So my answer is ' yes ' if I fell genuinely in love. Nothing else would matter.
Nor would I debate definitions and conventions. They would not be a consideration.

Children with my own genetic make-up ? I am not able to have children, but surrogacy or adoption would be an option, if that is what my partner wanted.

Currently relationship wary, but still hoping, maybe.

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  #36  
Old 07-24-2010
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Originally Posted by Amy View Post
In my city.
We all go to each other's weddings.
I see, so can you get me an invitation for the next wedding, Amy?

Diana
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  #37  
Old 07-24-2010
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its always been my dream to have a bf/husband!

so if anyone out there wants to marry me just contact me

kisses
Alyssa Luxor
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  #38  
Old 08-29-2010
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i would marry a tgirl for sure if we clicked.
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  #39  
Old 10-23-2010
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About marriage or long term relationship I could say, that I don't wont to live with another man, but with a woman. But what is most important for me is, that we love each other and that we are compatible by our caracters, intellectually, mentally, in other words to be soul mates and if we are not compatible, the relationship will not last. To have a quality life together it doesn't matter if she is genetic girl or tgirl.
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  #40  
Old 10-23-2010
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I wanted to at one time but now i'm not so sure anymore
Jerseygirl Jen
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  #41  
Old 10-23-2010
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For me it wouldnt be a matter of transwomen or GG, it would be would i marry the specific person im with. So, I guess thats a yes.
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  #42  
Old 10-24-2010
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It could cause some irritating complications with friends and family and so on, but if you love someone, you shouldn't let anything stop you!
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  #43  
Old 10-25-2010
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Apart form the procreation issue already mentioned the answer has got to be yes. I know a t-girl I would marry if she would have me.
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  #44  
Old 10-26-2010
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Default Guess I will share ,,,,

My lovely ts pinay g/f, last week said 'YES' so she now my fiance . We're not yet certain of our where or when, but is rumored that soon the Philippines will legalize same sex marriage. If not we'll most likely go to Thailand since I think foreigners too can legaly wed ts girls there.
I'm so excited,,, just can't hide it ,,,, as the song goes, lol.
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  #45  
Old 10-26-2010
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Originally Posted by Hedonistman View Post
My lovely ts pinay g/f, last week said 'YES' so she now my fiance . We're not yet certain of our where or when, but is rumored that soon the Philippines will legalize same sex marriage. If not we'll most likely go to Thailand since I think foreigners too can legaly wed ts girls there.
I'm so excited,,, just can't hide it ,,,, as the song goes, lol.
Congratulations and best wishes!
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  #46  
Old 10-26-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedonistman View Post
If not we'll most likely go to Thailand since I think foreigners too can legaly wed ts girls there.
If that is true, Areeya will soon be mine! :D
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  #47  
Old 10-26-2010
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Hedonistman View Post
My lovely ts pinay g/f, last week said 'YES' so she now my fiance . We're not yet certain of our where or when, but is rumored that soon the Philippines will legalize same sex marriage. If not we'll most likely go to Thailand since I think foreigners too can legaly wed ts girls there.
I'm so excited,,, just can't hide it ,,,, as the song goes, lol.
Congratulations. I'm very happy for both of you.
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  #48  
Old 10-27-2010
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Default Thanks All,,,

I appreciate the congrats very much. I had been searching for over 5 yrs to find my 'miss ts right' (or should that be 'miss right ts' lol (?) ), and I was lucky enough to do so last Dec. Since then our relationship, like any other, (esp so for ld 1's) has had it's ups and downs. But we hung tough through those, and are all the better for it.
Thanks again for the congrats amd support.....
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  #49  
Old 10-27-2010
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I think people do just fine without adding eternal fidelity and spousal rights into the mix.
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I never saw a wild thing, sorry for itself. A small bird will drop frozen dead from a bough, without ever having felt sorry for itself. D.H. Lawrence
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  #50  
Old 10-27-2010
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Don't marry someone you can live with.

Marry someone you can't live without.
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