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  #1  
Old 11-29-2008
Arthur Arthur is offline
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Default Questions for TS women

There are probably so many but these are sort of 'stream of conciousness' questions.

There seems to be three TS groups, although I already know that is probably not the case.

The hetro male who decides to cross dress.

The gay male who wants to look female but retains male sexuality.

The male who wants to be female because they are trapped in a mans body or, maybe would just like that as a preference ?

Which groups, or others do you belong to and what is everyday life like with respect to friends, family and work mates? For instance, if you fancied a game of football would you join the guys or the girls, or a seperate group.

Then there are the relationships with long term partners. It's difficult enough for me to get to grips with my own feelings.......I belong in the group called hetrosexual, I would like to say Bi-sexual but it just doesn't fit as guys that look like guys are not attractive to me.

So I imagine the obvious relationships are gay, but if your gay and like the look of females it almost makes you straight! Now I have to presume there are TS women with female lovers, which makes the relationship a Lesbian relationship which would be regarded by the outside world as a totally average hetro relationship, then finally there must be TS/TS relationships which are essentially gay and lesbian relationships at the same time.

I know in the end it comes down to a person being a person, whats on the outside is not important unless you need the biological part for pro-creation. Once past the need to have kids it really starts to make little difference as long as you love and respect the person you live with. Even so, it is fascinating to tear down the walls of myth and mystery and reveal the ordinary lifestyles of those who have decided to stray from the accepted mean values.

Also, is this on the increase ? Is it because of the availability of hormones and implants, cosmetic surgery etc that has completed the circuit and allowed a whole new emerging social/sexual scene. Are we heading for a time when you can swap as easily as changing clothes ?
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Old 11-29-2008
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Arthur, you ask some good questions and none of them are easy to answer. To colplicate things, trans*women are as vastly different from eachother as any other group of people.

One thing to be clear on is that sex (biological) is different from gender (emotional/mental). You will hear Trans woman say the "feel like a woman", when in reality, language doesn't have an easy way to explain what this is. I find it better to say, I always UNDERSTOOD myself to be female. If I had never taken any steps to feminize my body, my understanding of my self would be the same. If a genetic woman gets a flat-top and wears a tux, she is still a woman - because that is her perception of herself. She is simply a "butch" woman, not a man.

Just as there are some children born without clearly defined genetalia (intersex), there are some people born with a mind/body disconnect. I can honestly say that my childhood as a "girlhood" - even if the people around me didn't understand that to be the case. For example, I always looked to women as my role-models - if a book or movie had crap female characters, I didn't like it. Boys, on the otherhand look to adult males for instruction and grooming - I rarely understood what it was they were expecting me to do/understand. Women, I got - men were the "other".

Here is a story - growing up, I learned that girls were nurses and boys were doctors. Getting that social message (untrue as it is) made me angry because I knoew that I could have been a good doctor and didn't "just" want to be a nurse. My male peers were not having that conflict, while my female peers were. When I enteed puberty, I was praying for a female puberty, because that was what my mind was expecting. When my father took me aside to show me how to shave my face, it wasn't a bonding rite of passage, it was a soul-crushing moment where I couldn't deny that my body was developing all wrong.

The above will only be true for me, and other Trans*women will likely have something totally different, but equally valid to say on the topic.
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  #3  
Old 11-30-2008
moonwalkermoon moonwalkermoon is offline
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Originally Posted by Bionca View Post
Arthur, you ask some good questions and none of them are easy to answer. To colplicate things, trans*women are as vastly different from eachother as any other group of people.
Bionca,

you are very smart and reading through this forum you have a lot of great and interesting things to say.

Blessed are the ones who can call themselves your friends.

I'd certainly love to be one of them.

Stay as you are and don't allow the world to change you!
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Old 11-30-2008
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dont think to much it will make your brain hurt
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Old 12-01-2008
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People try really hard to define what TG means, but everybody's coming from a different perspective. TG people generally have all kinds of issues and ways they've dealt with them, and they all feel a little differently.

Crossdressers often try really hard to define what their lifestyle is so as to defend their hetero male-ness while trying as hard as they can to be female. I've had many crossdressers approach me at bars, and the first thing out of their mouth will be how straight they are and that their wife just doesn't understand them, then a couple drinks later they're trying to blow me. That's not the majority of crossdressers, but oddly enough in my expereince, it is the majority of ones that feel the need to say how straight they are (when they're hanging out with me in a gay bar).

A lot of trannies try to define themselves as having always been a woman trapped in a man's body and are dismissive of anyone who doesn't want full SRS. I've often heard TS girls refer to themselves as intersexed. They think claiming to be XXY somehow makes them more of a real girl, yet they refuse to be tested for any genetic intersex condition.

I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the sexuality of tgirls. The ones who say they're totally into genetic females are usually the more flaky ones, though.

Interestingly enough, gay men who tried to date women before they came out usually didn't have much fun with it. Tgirls who dated women exclusively before coming out usually seem to have enjoyed it plenty. Personally, I've had several women tell me a few years later that I was the best lover they ever had. I think it's because I always identified with femininity. As a male, sex with a female was more of a vicarious out-of-body experience with me, and I was much more in tune with what the woman was feeling. As a female, sex is more about my own body, and I think that makes bisexuality more natural. It's not about what's between your legs. It's about what you can do for me.

I really can't define myself any better than a quasi-celibate bisexual tgirl who likes estrogen, hates spiro, and is addicted to tsseduction.com and shemalerevenge.com ...
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Old 12-01-2008
Arthur Arthur is offline
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Originally Posted by racquel View Post
People try really hard to define what TG means, but everybody's coming from a different perspective. TG people generally have all kinds of issues and ways they've dealt with them, and they all feel a little differently.

Crossdressers often try really hard to define what their lifestyle is so as to defend their hetero male-ness while trying as hard as they can to be female. I've had many crossdressers approach me at bars, and the first thing out of their mouth will be how straight they are and that their wife just doesn't understand them, then a couple drinks later they're trying to blow me. That's not the majority of crossdressers, but oddly enough in my expereince, it is the majority of ones that feel the need to say how straight they are (when they're hanging out with me in a gay bar).

A lot of trannies try to define themselves as having always been a woman trapped in a man's body and are dismissive of anyone who doesn't want full SRS. I've often heard TS girls refer to themselves as intersexed. They think claiming to be XXY somehow makes them more of a real girl, yet they refuse to be tested for any genetic intersex condition.

I wouldn't put too much emphasis on the sexuality of tgirls. The ones who say they're totally into genetic females are usually the more flaky ones, though.

Interestingly enough, gay men who tried to date women before they came out usually didn't have much fun with it. Tgirls who dated women exclusively before coming out usually seem to have enjoyed it plenty. Personally, I've had several women tell me a few years later that I was the best lover they ever had. I think it's because I always identified with femininity. As a male, sex with a female was more of a vicarious out-of-body experience with me, and I was much more in tune with what the woman was feeling. As a female, sex is more about my own body, and I think that makes bisexuality more natural. It's not about what's between your legs. It's about what you can do for me.

I really can't define myself any better than a quasi-celibate bisexual tgirl who likes estrogen, hates spiro, and is addicted to tsseduction.com and shemalerevenge.com ...
Interesting points:

I think this really means that to some extent, when it comes to sex, we are all bisexual in some way depending on the circumstances and as you say, it does not matter whats between your legs.

For myself there is a weird duality in that I am quite happy to be banged by, or suck the cock of a T-girl. I have had my cock sucked but it really seemed less about my own desires and more about the T-girl I was with. I have no real interest in anal sex with a T-girl and although I have tried it with my wife it was really a none starter-different but not particularly desirable. My wife has used a strap on with me and that was sort of average when compared to the real thing which I found incredibly hot (that really doesn't describe the feeling as it was far more intense than I could have fantasised about). But after all that I could not face this with a Gay Male ! Why ?

More supposedly herto guys should try it out as it really gets you to understand what it is like from a females perspective as it reverses the rolls. In an interesting aspect is that it defines the Male position in a far more vunerable way. Considering I was a guy, with another guys cock in my hand it was amazing how gentle I became.

I suspect the niche T-Girls occupy has been something that has always been around, just far more visible because of the internet.

Funny how we have a society that just cannot cope with the variance.
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Old 12-01-2008
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[QUOTE=Arthur;52709]There are probably so many but these are sort of 'stream of conciousness' questions.

There seems to be three TS groups, although I already know that is probably not the case.

The hetro male who decides to cross dress.

The gay male who wants to look female but retains male sexuality.

The male who wants to be female because they are trapped in a mans body or, maybe would just like that as a preference ?

Which groups, or others do you belong to and what is everyday life like with respect to friends, family and work mates? For instance, if you fancied a game of football would you join the guys or the girls, or a seperate group.

Then there are the relationships with long term partners. It's difficult enough for me to get to grips with my own feelings.......I belong in the group called hetrosexual, I would like to say Bi-sexual but it just doesn't fit as guys that look like guys are not attractive to me.

So I imagine the obvious relationships are gay, but if your gay and like the look of females it almost makes you straight! Now I have to presume there are TS women with female lovers, which makes the relationship a Lesbian relationship which would be regarded by the outside world as a totally average hetro relationship, then finally there must be TS/TS relationships which are essentially gay and lesbian relationships at the same time.

I know in the end it comes down to a person being a person, whats on the outside is not important unless you need the biological part for pro-creation. Once past the need to have kids it really starts to make little difference as long as you love and respect the person you live with. Even so, it is fascinating to tear down the walls of myth and mystery and reveal the ordinary lifestyles of those who have decided to stray from the accepted mean values.

Also, is this on the increase ? Is it because of the availability of hormones and implants, cosmetic surgery etc that has completed the circuit and allowed a whole new emerging social/sexual scene. Are we heading for a time when you can swap as easily as changing clothes ?[/QUOte

You made a very difficult answer to sound even more difficult but your answer was - as far I think very clear - you can't swap as easily you just change your outfit: Implants, hormones make you even more vulnerable for yourself; and do you really know how you are? Maybe I missed something? Tim of Finland
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  #8  
Old 12-01-2008
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Arthur View Post
More supposedly herto guys should try it out as it really gets you to understand what it is like from a females perspective as it reverses the rolls. In an interesting aspect is that it defines the Male position in a far more vunerable way.
Most gay men don't have nearly as much anal sex as straight people think. Letting someone in your body is a very personal thing. Girls get kinda used to it after being sexually active for awhile, but it's still emotional. For a guy, though, it's even more of a big deal, both emotionally and as a taboo fantasy.

I'm not trying to brag, because I'm certainly not the hottest thing around, but I can go out any weekend and get several straight-acting guys hitting on me and trying to fuck me, even in crappy little Midwest towns. It's really not all that flattering because when I'm not interested they just find someone uglier and/or drunker to be their receptacle. But when a guy's being sweet and buys me a couple drinks and I can tell he's submissive ... that's a very powerful feeling of being truly desired. But that's also something that's rarely worth following through on, because I really would feel bad for some conflicted guy falling in love with me. Those are the ones that turn into stalkers. And it's pretty confusing being stalked by a guy who ends up being married and/or afraid to be seen with you in public.
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Old 12-01-2008
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Originally Posted by racquel View Post
Most gay men don't have nearly as much anal sex as straight people think. Letting someone in your body is a very personal thing. Girls get kinda used to it after being sexually active for awhile, but it's still emotional. For a guy, though, it's even more of a big deal, both emotionally and as a taboo fantasy.

I'm not trying to brag, because I'm certainly not the hottest thing around, but I can go out any weekend and get several straight-acting guys hitting on me and trying to fuck me, even in crappy little Midwest towns. It's really not all that flattering because when I'm not interested they just find someone uglier and/or drunker to be their receptacle. But when a guy's being sweet and buys me a couple drinks and I can tell he's submissive ... that's a very powerful feeling of being truly desired. But that's also something that's rarely worth following through on, because I really would feel bad for some conflicted guy falling in love with me. Those are the ones that turn into stalkers. And it's pretty confusing being stalked by a guy who ends up being married and/or afraid to be seen with you in public.
Oh, Man, I from Europe and I think I understand you!
Our culture is SO different: I live in Finland which is a part of Scandinavia and of course part or Europian Union. In Finland and Sweden things are so very, very different than in some parts of USA: what is not impropriate in there is all right here: VERY COMPPRIHENSSIVE SEXUAL EDUCATION; teachers pulling condoms on dildos etx. and ALL sex acts can be watched by teenangers without no sensorship...
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