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  #1  
Old 04-13-2012
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Hello all,
I am a 34 year old man happily married with a beautiful child. Yet I still have an intense infatuation with transgenders. I don't think this is a problem? Mainly when I masterbate, when I have any alone time, which is very rare, I love to search and admire transgender porn on the Internet. I love my wife with all my heart, but I think this is my time to do what makes me happy!!! Recently I have considered an encounter with a local transgender, I have never cheated on my wife, but I really feel this is something I need in my life, something I desire and fantasize about often. Any feedback would be appreciated!!
Thanks,
Firsttimecharlie:
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Old 04-13-2012
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Hello all,
I am a 34 year old man happily married with a beautiful child. Yet I still have an intense infatuation with transgenders. I don't think this is a problem? Mainly when I masterbate, when I have any alone time, which is very rare, I love to search and admire transgender porn on the Internet. I love my wife with all my heart, but I think this is my time to do what makes me happy!!! Recently I have considered an encounter with a local transgender, I have never cheated on my wife, but I really feel this is something I need in my life, something I desire and fantasize about often. Any feedback would be appreciated!!
Thanks,
Firsttimecharlie:
Firstly, you have to ask yourself if you really want to throw your marriage. This is something you really need to discuss with your wife and get her feedback, then decide what to do.

Honestly, I hate it when guys cheat on their wives. If he's so willing to break his vows, how can I trust him? That's why if I know that a guy is married, I won't play with him.

Now, to give you a "back door", (not to enpower any infidelity) cybersex IMHO is not cheating.
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Old 04-13-2012
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I don't date married people, period! It's a bad pratice all around for everyone!
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Old 04-13-2012
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I am happily married now.

I am lucky in that my wife knows about my previous relationship with a tg and interest in tg porn. She accepts it because I was honest and upfront about it, I didn't try to hide it and made it clear that I am hers and love her with all my heart.
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Old 04-13-2012
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It sounds like you have more of a fantasy than an actual "need" to engage in sex with TG's. You've said yourself that you're happily married. So why risk throwing that away? If you're willing to cheat on your wife, you clearly don't love or value her as much as you proclaim. Especially for your supposed "need" for indulgent sex. Sex is not a need. Period. It's a choice. You can certainly make the choice to cheat or not-- but I don't have a lot of respect for cheaters.

On a different level, I can also relate. My wife and I have had a threesome with an old beau from my childhood. I always thought the guy was a cutie to begin with and I had fantasized about having a threesome with SOMEBODY. Well, one cocaine-binge induced night, that fantasy became a reality. I won't go into the sordid details-- but it was fun. I was horny. I don't regret it.

But it was also weird. There were things I hadn't counted on-- like my friend having body hair (I'm not big on body hair). His penis was also much smaller than I was expecting. The next morning was sort of awkward-- we chalked it up to having been on a cocaine binge. My friend and I ended up drifting apart (not solely due to this), and we no longer talk.

I guess where I'm going is that the sexual fantasy and the sexual reality don't always match. Yes, the threesome was fun on some levels. But the reality of it just didn't live up to my fantasy. There were too many weird and awkward things about. This is often the case when comparing fantasy with reality.

I'd hate for you to risk your marriage chasing a fantasy which may not even live up to your expectations. Conversely, you may have so great a time that you decide to chase nothing but TG tail and you end up divorcing your wife. You can't really say what will happen. But I think some things are best left as fantasies-- particularly when we've made commitments to our partners. Now perhaps your wife would be open to a threesome or an "open" marriage-- I don't know. That may give you some options.
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Old 04-13-2012
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Thanks for the feedback! All of you made valid points. I know it is a fantasy and not a necessity by any stretch. I have been masterbating to transgender images and movies since the age of the Internet. Fortunately back then I would cum before the entire image would load. Its just nice to have a place where there are people to speak with openly and honestly. I would never cheat on my wife. I know that in my heart. Now what about a massage by a transgender? These are questions I have always wanted to ask. I hope it's not annoying. I am a very successful self employed business owner with the house In the burbs, a great wife and kid, and even two dogs. But I have all these emotions and thoughts that are constantly in my head. Again thank you all for your honest and caring feedback. Thanks
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Old 04-13-2012
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Monogamy has been shown scientifically to be an unnatural state for humans. Why don't you talk to your wife about this "intense infatuation"? If your marriage is as good as you say, and you approach the conversation in a loving way, it may turn out to be a very good thing. Sure, it can be difficult in the beginning, but you never know.
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Old 04-14-2012
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Monogamy has been shown scientifically to be an unnatural state for humans. Why don't you talk to your wife about this "intense infatuation"? If your marriage is as good as you say, and you approach the conversation in a loving way, it may turn out to be a very good thing. Sure, it can be difficult in the beginning, but you never know.
I've found that some couples are open in their marriage, and don't mind their partner playing with others as long as they're honest about it. Sometimes the wives like to play too.
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Old 05-18-2012
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I've never cheated on a gal in my entire life. Given that earnest position, I feel that every person should have fun.

Everyone should be worried about STDs, but if that isn't an issue why declare a person immoral for wanting to have sex? If You have a great family and everything is so great, why care? Can a baseball fan not enjoy a basketball game every now and then? I think respectable forms of adultry should be welcomed, given that both partners are aware that they are seeking human needs in dry times. Just let the fun happen if you feel it is safe for your partner and you.

Just because someone wants sex on impulse out of boredom doesn't mean that they don't love you ANYMORE.

If your wife loves you (and your children if such is the case), understand that she has fantasies just like you. While men masturbate by manipulating their genitals, women can't achieve the same pleasure with imagination alone since a lot of it is about penetration or girth.
If you feel the practice is medically safe, let your wife enjoy as much as you do yourself when you Jerk it.

Last edited by Smoothie; 05-18-2012 at 12:29 AM.
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Old 05-18-2012
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... While men masturbate by manipulating their genitals, women can't achieve the same pleasure with imagination alone since a lot of it is about penetration or girth. ...
As long as I live, I will never cease to be amazed by the audacity of men who claim to know so much about women that they can make blanket statements such as the one above, state them with absolute authority, and use these arguments to buttress all manner of other positions that they take on this or that issue.

I submit, Smoothie, that your knowledge of how women as a group can achieve pleasure is inversely proportional to the knowledge any one woman has of how she, herself, achieves pleasure.
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Old 05-20-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smc View Post
Monogamy has been shown scientifically to be an unnatural state for humans. Why don't you talk to your wife about this "intense infatuation"? If your marriage is as good as you say, and you approach the conversation in a loving way, it may turn out to be a very good thing. Sure, it can be difficult in the beginning, but you never know.



My wife and I have an open marriage and it works very well for us. But, honesty is very important too. It is cheating if you lie about what you do, even in an open relationship.
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  #12  
Old 05-20-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Smoothie View Post
I've never cheated on a gal in my entire life. Given that earnest position, I feel that every person should have fun.

Everyone should be worried about STDs, but if that isn't an issue why declare a person immoral for wanting to have sex? If You have a great family and everything is so great, why care? Can a baseball fan not enjoy a basketball game every now and then? I think respectable forms of adultry should be welcomed, given that both partners are aware that they are seeking human needs in dry times. Just let the fun happen if you feel it is safe for your partner and you.

Just because someone wants sex on impulse out of boredom doesn't mean that they don't love you ANYMORE.

If your wife loves you (and your children if such is the case), understand that she has fantasies just like you. While men masturbate by manipulating their genitals, women can't achieve the same pleasure with imagination alone since a lot of it is about penetration or girth.
If you feel the practice is medically safe, let your wife enjoy as much as you do yourself when you Jerk it.
Don't lump me in that boat, I simply rub it up an down until i cum.
Not much manipulating going on there.

And have u ever read a romance novel? It's all about imagination with woman.
Just becUase they don't stick things in there bits don't mean they are not fantasing or getting some level of pleasure from things.

And the simple question about cheating/ casually seeing other people. If you come home and your wife said she had sec with some stranger that day, but it was purely sexual, how would YOU feel?
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Old 05-21-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smc View Post
Monogamy has been shown scientifically to be an unnatural state for humans. Why don't you talk to your wife about this "intense infatuation"? If your marriage is as good as you say, and you approach the conversation in a loving way, it may turn out to be a very good thing. Sure, it can be difficult in the beginning, but you never know.
What science is that?
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Old 05-21-2012
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Originally Posted by aussiepride View Post
What science is that?
If you go to scholar.google.com and enter the search terms "monogamy" and "humans," you will find links to much of the research. A regular Google search of "monogamy" and "humans" and "unnatural" will yield links to popular reporting of the research subject.

I would not make such a claim in the way I did absent genuine backup.
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Old 05-21-2012
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I have been married for the second time since March 2011. My wife knows I am a member here and has actually been on TLB a few times herself. She has no problems with the friendships I?ve made or my activities in support of LGBT rights. Fantasy and role playing can be part of any healthy relationship but if you are thinking about engaging in sexual activity outside of your relationship you would be better off to discuss this with your partner first. How serious is this desire for example? What do you stand to gain? Or lose? Are things currently intolerable with your present partner? Are the both of you into ?fooling around?? Where do you think that will lead? If your relationship is truly open then you should have no problem discussing any of this with her.
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Old 05-21-2012
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Originally Posted by smc View Post
If you go to scholar.google.com and enter the search terms "monogamy" and "humans," you will find links to much of the research. A regular Google search of "monogamy" and "humans" and "unnatural" will yield links to popular reporting of the research subject.

I would not make such a claim in the way I did absent genuine backup.
Oh sorry I wasnt tought in school that google overdides stringent testing of hypothesis, as was once considered "shown scientifically"
Seems you can get anything published these days and it's considered fact.
Most humans still engage in monogamy, but then again I didn't test that statement, so perhaps it's not true..
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Old 05-21-2012
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Oh sorry I wasnt tought in school that google overdides stringent testing of hypothesis, as was once considered "shown scientifically"
Seems you can get anything published these days and it's considered fact.
Most humans still engage in monogamy, but then again I didn't test that statement, so perhaps it's not true..
If you had actually looked at Google Scholar, or knew anything about it, you wouldn't have been so quick to assume that it is just like "googling" something generally, and then you might not have dug yourself into the hole of writing something so profoundly ignorant in an effort to make what I wrote seem stupid.

Google Scholar is a search engine for research articles published in peer-reviewed, academic journals published worldwide. It's has absolutely nothing to do with the ability to "get anything published." But, hey, I give you credit for trying to respond.

As for your second point, the fact that humans engage in something doesn't make it the natural state of things. Do you think enslaving other humans is a natural state for the human race? Or do you think that those who enslave may think it is natural (and thus okay) because it was done in the generations that preceded their lives? Do you think the nature vs. nurture argument is a legitimate one for serious researchers?

(By the way, most humans accepted slavery in the U.S. South during a long period of America's history ... "but then again I didn't test that statement, so perhaps it's not true.")

Or, does real science and real scholarship, not the crap you're trying to associate with me through your insipid Google comment, hurt your brain?

Last edited by smc; 05-21-2012 at 11:43 PM.
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Old 05-22-2012
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Another derogatory, offensive and spiteful post.

I know about scholar, and as far as research into this field.. I have actually been reading it for many years.

Your use of an example of slavery is downright mind boggling and does not help the argument one bit. Equating that lots of people appear to stay monogamous , is like how slavery was what we all use to do..? How is that te se at all? Seems to me a profoundly ignorant thing to say...
TESTING a theory or idea about monogamy is inherently hard to do... Gathering some statistical data that "men like to fool around" is neither good science nor proof.


Quote:
Originally Posted by smc View Post
If you had actually looked at Google Scholar, or knew anything about it, you wouldn't have been so quick to assume that it is just like "googling" something generally, and then you might not have dug yourself into the hole of writing something so profoundly ignorant in an effort to make what I wrote seem stupid.

Google Scholar is a search engine for research articles published in peer-reviewed, academic journals published worldwide. It's has absolutely nothing to do with the ability to "get anything published." But, hey, I give you credit for trying to respond.

As for your second point, the fact that humans engage in something doesn't make it the natural state of things. Do you think enslaving other humans is a natural state for the human race? Or do you think that those who enslave may think it is natural (and thus okay) because it was done in the generations that preceded their lives? Do you think the nature vs. nurture argument is a legitimate one for serious researchers?

(By the way, most humans accepted slavery in the U.S. South during a long period of America's history ... "but then again I didn't test that statement, so perhaps it's not true.")

Or, does real science and real scholarship, not the crap you're trying to associate with me through your insipid Google comment, hurt your brain?
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Old 05-22-2012
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Quote:
Originally Posted by aussiepride View Post
Another derogatory, offensive and spiteful post.

I know about scholar, and as far as research into this field.. I have actually been reading it for many years.

Your use of an example of slavery is downright mind boggling and does not help the argument one bit. Equating that lots of people appear to stay monogamous , is like how slavery was what we all use to do..? How is that te se at all? Seems to me a profoundly ignorant thing to say...
TESTING a theory or idea about monogamy is inherently hard to do... Gathering some statistical data that "men like to fool around" is neither good science nor proof.
If you knew about Google Scholar, then explain your post in which you tried to equate it with simple "googling" and tried to make it look like what I was referring to was "unscientific." There is no other way to interpret your statement "Oh sorry I wasnt tought in school that google overdides stringent testing of hypothesis, as was once considered "shown scientifically""

And I did not equate slavery and monogamy. You know that, but it doesn't serve your purpose to admit to understanding that the statement wasn't about equating the two, but to point out that humans can accept something that isn't natural, regardless of what it is.

You don't like to be called out for your posts, and so you accuse others of bullying you. Once again, the record is clear, and my post in response to yours -- the one you chose to mock with your "google" bullshit -- could not be more clear itself.
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Old 05-22-2012
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Originally Posted by Smoothie View Post
Everyone should be worried about STDs, but if that isn't an issue why declare a person immoral for wanting to have sex?
True, not everyone shares the same sense morallity. So if you disregard the health risks or even the inmorality of cheating, it still comes down to an issue of trust. From my point of view, if he breaks his vows "forsaking all others" to her, how could I ever trust him?
Quote:
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Monogamy has been shown scientifically to be an unnatural state for humans.
There might be some truth to this, given the almost primal need for males to inseminate anything that doesn't run fast enough (women, girls like me, other guys, even farm animals)
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Old 05-23-2012
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Monogamy is what seperates us from animals.





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