The Unbearable Lightness of Getting SRS in Thailand...

[hankhavelock]

I’ve just spent two weeks in Thailand on a biz-trip. At the airport I hit the book store to find suitable reading, and what do you know... a book titled “Ladyboys. The secrets of Thailand’s third gender”. sort of jumped into my arms In all fairness, I didn’t expect to learn a lot from that book as I do consider myself well versed in the deeper aspects of trans*life, however, it’s a very well-written book and especially one story grapped me.

It’s about a young boy who is clearly NOT transsexual but none the less by fate and group-identity (but not gender-identity) suddenly finds himself trapped in a life as a ladyboy-prostitute and is feeling pressured into the final cut – which he obviously deeply regretted. Mind you that I deliberately says HE, as I believe from his told story that that’s what he is. A feminine gay, maybe, but certainly not transsexual.

Had I only been there to guide him before making such a severe move... And this brings me to my issue: SRS and the easy availability in Thailand.

There was a time when I still lived in Europe – before I actually knew much about transsexuality – when I would hear Danish transsexuals complain about the strenuous psychological testing that trans*people have to endure before being granted SRS – and I would get upset and say: “Yes, that sounds unfair – they must know better themselves, so make it easier to get that surgery...”

Much bad can be said about the recognition of transgender rights both in Denmark, the rest of the west and the world, however, on this particular issue I do agree with a much more careful and inquisitoric approach before granting anything.

The reason I feel so strongly about SRS obviously is because of its finality – this is one surgery that cannot be undone – so it’s one you don’t want to regret.

Don’t get me wrong, I think it’s wonderful when a more mature trans*person after careful consideration and counselling decides to SRS and finds a deep happiness in that decision. But unfortunately I’m becoming more and more aware of the fact that this is sadly far from the situation in every case. And obviously an 18 year old Asian ladyboy (with or without parents’ approval) doesn’t have a clue to what this is all about.

Yes, transsexuality is far more common in Asia than anywhere else, however the vast majority is pre-op and unfortunately there are many examples of post-op regrets.

My personal belief (which may be irrelevant) is that gender identity sits between the ears – not the thighs and that it therefore should be much more difficult (in a good and sober way) to get SRS. Basicly, a young, inexperienced trans*person who’ve not even come to grips with her or his basic gender-identity can more or less walk in from the street, pay the 100.000 THB and walk out of there changed for life... that’s just not right!

To quote from the book: “...but how I wished that I’d had someone to offer me just a little bit of guidance in life”.

Again, if a trans*person after long and sober consideration decides that SRS is what she or he needs to become the person she or he wants to be, then all is fine. I remain, however, of the belief that societies put much too much emphasis on genitalia as THE gender-defining aspect, but that’s my personal opinion.

In my “journey” into the transsexual universe I’ve more than a couple of times met young (and not so young) m2f-transsexuals that showed a certain shyness in regards to their “male” genitalia and by very simple reasoning I’ve actually been able to change their mindsets a little bit, so that they began viewing themselves as transsexual women in a slightly more relaxed way where their penis was not a hindrance to their woman-hood but actually a part of it.

So I really wish I or someone else could have been there for the young story-teller, could have held her, could have guided her away from a decision that clearly hurt her... or him. It’s devastatingly clear to me that so many young transsexuals need empathetic guidance in their natural bewilderment.
I don’t have a clue as to how to give them this guidance, but it’s obvious that it’s needed to avoid dreadful mistakes.

A good first step could be for Thai legislature to change the easy access and at least include mandatory counselling by people who actually knows a little bit of the transsexual mindset (yes, there is such a thing).

H